Never say goodbye

one time when i was six i saw an infomercial claiming that their product would make you look ten years younger and my sister said she was gonna use it on me and i became really scared

IT CONTINUES TO BE TIME FOR MOSS

running a fool’s errand y’all need anything?

#who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x)

“1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course

There was also an 1893

From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today. 

This is worse than the math post

can yall like,,,, read?????

Nobody on this hellsite can read at this point it’s established fact.

Crevice cat strikes

UNREALISTIC. ASS. STANDARDS.

last night one of my campers was like “well i lost one of my shoes in the swamp today” and i said “oh no!” and she shrugged and said “its ok. shoes are just objects” and damn. they really are

today a completely different camper with scratches all over her legs was like “every step hurts me” and i was like “oh that sucks!” and she shrugged and said “well, you know, pain is a temporary emotion”

the next gen have achieved either peak buddhism or peak nihilism

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

reblog the cherry pie to be ok

Cherry pie of okayness for my troubled followers.

episode of the twilight zone where someone finds an organized cat society in the woods and is desperately trying to prove to everyone that there’s some breed of hyper intelligent cat-looking things out there but the twist is that’s just how cats are

a box of biohazard maybe

the only hazard here is ur attitude

its him… its earl grey…

do you have any idea how good something has to be for the shitty car mods subreddit to be “on the fence” about it

im trying to clean out my school binders and i dont know why but every time i go to throw away schoolwork i always hesitate. ‘what if i want to use this for studying later’ says i, the dumbass, who has not studied, for a single thing, in my entire goddamn life

Won’t that only solve 75% of your problems?

Finally Tumblr can do math

So, what you’re saying, is that if I buy infinite books, I will solve all of my problems, because the sum as n approaches infinity starting at 1 of (½)^n equals 1, which would be 100% of my problems.

Please stop explaining math to me im gay

that’s why radioactive material is such a bitch! it only ever deteriorates relative to its mass so it will never completely vanish

This post is pushing me to the limit

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

okay but what’s updog ?

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

What’s a henway?

Oh, about 5 pounds.

GOTTEM

this post pushed me down the stairs and stole my firstborn child