🕯

doing fine and ok today going to make dinner with a lot of garlic and bake a heart shaped cake

i'm applying to register my citizenship in the country my mom was born and i had my first stress dream about moving abroad even though that feels so far out of reach and distant right now

watching the trees outside move the light around my living room wall and imagining all the dreams i could make into reality if i wasn't in so much pain every single day

i'm turning off anon at least for awhile cause every time i post anything i get a swarm of terfs harassing me in my inbox

i got botox today so i can't wait to be able to live my life and make plans again yay. but my face hurts so bad right now the only time it has hurt this bad was the first time i ever got it omg

feeling the constant battle between wanting a gender affirming haircut and my autistic desire for a basic middle part that's long enough to go behind my ears

this whole thing transpired in like 3 days but my partner and i signed a lease and have to finish packing everything today so we can move tomorrow morning because of an absolutely insane situation happening with my partner's roommate. and i got a flat tire that had to be replaced yesterday. i swear to god this has to be a reset for my life cause so many things are going wrong at once. i'm glad we are getting out so we don't have to live with constant anxiety but the process of getting there is so much

every time i delete the instagram app off my phone and go a month or so without it i get really intense anxiety about going back on it. i really don't want anyone to know what or how i'm doing. which i guess is like bad for my "career" or whatever 💔

right now i'm afflicted with an intense restless energy that can only be cured by roller blading

everything i do is in service of being able to decorate my gay little house someday

i don't want to "make work" or "advance my career" i just want to make my girlfriend a nice gift and watch movies and make dumb videos that don't mean anything but instead i have to like... worry about what the future holds

i miss my contractor job and am living vicariously through home reno videos