Sir, This Is Just A Tumblr Blog

every time someones says "hey how are you" and i say "good" and forget to add the "how about you?" i feel like i've missed a quicktime event

when you drink all the wine in the house and then you have. :( no wine in the house

me when i excuse myself during a dinner party to sneak outside and milk more cabernet sauvignon from the Creature

had food poisoning when i posted this

Well if you'd pasteurized the Cabernet Sauvignon you milked from the creature maybe you wouldn't have gotten food poisoning from it.

oh suddenly everyone's an expert on the Creature i milk

i wonder what they're gossiping about

We used to make fun of people for saying "not all men" it was beautiful

I have never seen "wtf" so clearly expressed on an animals face

He looks so fucking upset I can't breathe

"that's right, your majesty! You are in dire need of a new freezer... Do not concern yourself with the large cardboard container in which it shall be delivered! Just let your lowly advisor take care of that..."

Clearly you don't own an air fryer

It’s not an appliance the Jedi would sell you