hi friend!

instead of "people pleaser" it might be better to think "disapproval fearer" if that's the emotional stick that's motivating action; important to consider at least three reasons to do something:

So two phrases that has stuck with me most my life and while not always right has most definitely been worth thinking about,

Transactional: everything has to be exactly 50/50 all the time, pay me back for the £5 sandwich or buy me something worth exactly £5, I refuse to make an effort for you if there’s nothing in it for me

Look, this post has been wildly more popular than I thought it deserved, apparently at least in part because "don't burden others; be independent" is far more ingrained in people than I realized. So here's the thing: society works when people help each other. Helping others gives people a chance to know each other, and gives them an investment in the people they help. Helping creates bonds. People enjoy helping, and you are doing a good by letting them help you if they so wish.

A horrifyingly few years ago I realized asking for help builds trust, too.

If I ask you for

not to philosophize on your personal post or whatever but this really illustrates the problem with capitalism because there's literally nothing wrong with working in an assembly line—other than, of course, the way the workers are treated.

“no one likes to be around an eeyore”