My Own Escape

I can count on one hand the amount of times I have gone off on people, but employment snobbery gives me the rage. I was showing the new kid how to use the fry scoop at McDonald’s “.. like this, and then just sort of hold it perpendicular and give it one tap..”

“I didn’t know.”

Zookeepers bust their asses shoveling shit and feeding apex predators so you can stare at an elephant without flying to Asia or Africa.

Do you ever think about how when Ron’s wand broke 2nd year, just using spell-o-tape wasn’t enough to fix it. It kept backfiring in ways that were really bad, like making himself eat slugs, or kinda just. being defective in general.

you can cross stitch whatever you want. no one will stop you

This is 99.99999% true but if you’re a very tactile person crystals can also be good for stress because the weight and the wide variety of types of surfaces (smooth? Rough? Polished?) makes them a very satisfying stim.

me, helping a little girl pick out a locket at the shop: do you usually like to wear goldtone or silvertone?

btw this was only a partial listing of the many Artemis facts imparted to me by this very good small child. I told her Athena was always my favorite so she also told me some Athena facts. 

I just blocked at least three people in the notes on this for being snidely superior calling it fake.

My husband teases me because I will unintentionally make friends with children in public ALL THE TIME. LITERALLY all it takes is if a kid says something to you, even of you already know about it, you go “wow, really?” And smile and nod while they excitedly gibber away.

I don’t really know how to explain to you that not every interaction between adults and children is inherently predatory? Like, for example, standing in line next to a family in Disney World and having a kid talk to you about Oswalt the Rabbit while their mother stands next to him isn’t “really creepy.” It’s a normal human interaction, particularly if you view kids as, like…people? Sometimes kids will try to talk to you, even if they don’t know you, and there are appropriate and normal ways to respond to kids when they do. 

in JUST Disney World I would just GIVE kids Trading Pins that I bought in bulk on line. Like, in line to meet Phineas and Ferb two kiddos were eyeing me and my SO’s lanyards and we traded pins (they wouldn’t let me just give them pins). There was a kiddo who was in front of us for the rivers of Pandora ride who was legit freaking out. Her parents were just screaming at her to be calm. I knelt and asked who her favorite Disney character was (it was goofy and I said she had good taste) and I told her I’d give her a pin, any except the like two I’d gotten that day that I was VERY attached to, if she promised to be brave and ride the ride with us. she rode, she was brave, she got a pin, and she didn’t scream or cry anymore.

The comments be like

As a parent too can I just say this is a fucking godsend. An adult who engages with your child when you’re operating on half an hour’s sleep for the past six weeks and have only been able to manage monosyllables to the person you love most in the world (your kid) because of that when someone treats them kindly, when someone gives them some attention that isn’t a tired “yes honey?” It can make that kid’s day and by knock on make the day a thousand times better for their parent too. 

I was on a cruise a few years ago and got sat at a table with another family and the older kid was maybe 10-12. And the mom made some comment to this girl that was pretty dismissive, which obvs got my hackles up because the mom said whatever it was she said in front of strangers (aka even more embarrassing to the girl). And my IMMEDIATE reaction was “TELL ME MORE”.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Sometimes shit was marked “lemon” and it’d just be them making out, and sometimes they’d just start pissing on each other

A/N: this contains SLASH, that means TWO MEN, if that makes you uncomfy, DON’T READ!

No, no, no

…I’m fucking SWEATING