i wish blocking killed the person too. why are you even alive?

imagine begging and pleading to bomb Iran for decades, finally getting the war you've spent your whole career creaming your pants over, losing immediately, and then dying out of nowhere

sticks my finger in the barrel of your gun so it backfires on you looney toons style but the gun moaned and now none of us know what genre we're in.

They Throw These at me Because I am so Beautiful and a Star.

Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats

big fan of the way moles sit in dirt with their arms out like they’re in a hot tub

Your father use to roleplay as a tape worm for my pleqsure

hope he did a good job at least. Didn't embarrass the whole family.

He strutted his shit kinda

this used to be the oldest bar in texas until they built an older one

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.