t shirt that says if you do not give me written instructions i will kill myself

Hi I’m your dog I just took a big huge drink of water from my bowl can I please put my snout on your cell phone please onto your cell phone I want to lay my snout on your cell phone that’s in your hand with my wet mouth and chin. On your cell phone that’s. Please

a thursdayhead like me couldn't care less about the weekend

dragon age 4. did they figure out how old the dragon is yet

Yea 4

I actually passed away quite a few years ago, but I'm a very private person and never told anybody.

the character

i fear the situation is dire

yeah, this is my pet knight, she's a rescue. i gave her a brief act of mercy and she followed me home and sat outside my door to guard me from intruders. she swore her undying allegiance to me in exchange for a gift of grace and now she sleeps at the foot of my bed and weeps when im late coming home. and yeah, she only eats wet food because she's a snob, also.

nobodys paying attention to me so im going to microwave forks and knives

hey girl are you my slerp schedule because i am fucking you up

not what i meant to say

mike's hard carapace

mike's terrible mandibles

mike's beating wings and fatal venom