you’ve heard of coltland now get ready for whatever we wanna call them
(extra doodles w grace under :3)
Noah Kahan

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@yuu-should-probably-not
you’ve heard of coltland now get ready for whatever we wanna call them
(extra doodles w grace under :3)

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| first meetings 🛰️
So I'm sitting here day dreaming in the heat picturing Grace's many twins somehow getting past security and barging into a meeting featuring Stratt and Grace and the original Hail Mary crew and all the scientists and just everyone.
Colt, fresh off set with his fake-bloodied face and ripped jeans and slightly crazy where is my brother no one can get ahold of him for days look.
Jacob, impeccably well dressed and calm and already throwing Ilyukina a charming smile who grins flirtatiously at him in return, immediately under his spell.
Sebastian, who runs so fast into the room in a panic he skids on his shiny dance shoes smacking face first into the wall opposite, unusually very ungraceful for him.
Willy already has his briefcase slammed on the table about to recite directly to Stratt about the law on kidnapping!! (she won't care).
Ken bounds into the room not entirely sure why they're all here, and while heading straight to the wall to make sure Sebastian is okay gets distracted by a window hoping there's horses outside.
Their Uncle Holland staggers in, grinning drunkenly at the room at large and turning to the face peering round the corner behind him, telling Lars that he told him he'd find Ryland, and then trips over a table leg landing with his ass in the air onto the large meeting table in front of everyone.
Lars cautiously walks into the room behind him, his blanket round his shoulders and smiling shyly at Grace, followed by Driver, who takes in the chaos around him and walks quietly over to Lars to stand beside him against the wall behind it all, one fist clenched.
Grace just sits there, stunned into silence, mouth agape as Carl finds his voice in the shock and turns to Stratt asking:
"I thought you said he had no relations?"
Before she can answer, Courtland walks in, and in a dangerous voice says:
"That would be because of me."
He after all ensured no one knew of any relation to him, which in turn ensured no relation to any of the others combined, and Carl takes one look at the infamous Six and just..
"Oh shit..."
Scientist to Grace: The ah - the genes in your family are uh... certainly strong, aren't they? *looking at the vast number of identical faces* Grace: *groans - face in hands* Yep. Ken: :D THEY'RE TAILOR MADE! *spins around to show off pink sequin jeans* Colt: That's not -
if simon’s universe had the book, basically
I love the headcanon that once back on Erid, Rocky refuses to give up the astrophage solution until his starving dying alien friend is safe.
It's even funnier to think that he never told Grace about this.
Picture this.
Grace, recording a video diary for future human visitors or something:
"Oh boy, and the ERIDIANS are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet! They've done so much for me, I can't even put into words how grateful I am! Once we arrived on Erid, their top priority was saving my life despite the fact that their planet was dying! Me, a stranger, someone who doesn't even belong here! They went above and beyond for me, and all just because they're SUCH amazing, caring people. Right, Rock?"
Rocky, having flashbacks to the time he yelled "STAY THE FUCK BACK, NO YOU CAN'T HAVE THE TAUMOEBA! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? ALIEN ISN'T PRIORITY? FUCK YOU! ROCKY WILL KEEP TAUMOEBA FOR HIMSELF! ROCKY WILL BLOW UP ALL OF ERID! ROCKY WILL....":
"....sure."

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In one sense, Project Hail Mary is a version of the Orpheus myth where turning around saves Eurydice.
In another sense, it's a version of the Odyssey where Odysseyus acquires a wingman.
Grace is so clearly taken aback by the revelation that Rocky has a mate. He assigns it so much gravity. He's the one who says they should name Tau-Ceti-3 after said mate, when Rocky wanted to give it a very dry, descriptive name. He picks a human name for said mate that's thematically harmonious with the one he already picked for Rocky. He initially didn't want to accept the donated astrophage because that would delay Rocky getting back to Adrian. Grace is so invested in the relationship between an alien he met a few weeks ago and another alien he has never met.
Add the detail from the book that Rocky assumes Adrian has moved on in the 40 years he's been away, only for that not to turn out to be the case, and yeah. One must imagine Odysseyus and Penelope's reunion with a weird-looking guy standing behind them going 😃👍!
'rocky learns to swear in english' is great and all but have we considered the equally hilarious alternative: rocky makes grace a little harmonica so he can use tone indicators in eridian, does not realize how terrible of a mistake this is until it's too late. grace catches onto tone indicators FAST and he is DEVASTATING with their application. grace does not use eridian swears but rocky gets to hear "are we choosing kind words" and "I'm not mad I'm just disappointed" in eridian roughly thirty times per day
But these tags tho! I just want to ditto all of them
horribly charmed by the idea that eridians in general are very polite and that rocky is just kind of an asshole
The Eridians’ first reaction: An entire new intelligent spacefaring species, and their first impression of what Eridians are like was ROCKY?! This might be a disaster on par with Astrophage.
The Eridians after they witness Grace going toe-to-toe with Rocky in a heated argument (the words “staggering waste of ammonia” may have been uttered), only for both of them to fall right back into their binary-orbit of camaraderie and friendship like nothing happened: Never mind, the new alien can actually ride herd on our resident rude-ass engineering prodigy, this is an actual miracle on par with Taumoeba.
me: so you see, even if andy weir says he didn't intend for your story to be political, there remains an intense underlying political message in your earth's journey to survival. hope and collaboration are just as political and perhaps even more radical as dystopia in this day and age. and to just throw all that away and say we're all reading into it is a disservice both to the readers who fell in love with you, and to the very ideals you represent.
book!Grace, who i just transported into a pocket universe specifically to rant to him: RYAN GOSLING??? I'm RYAN GOSLING??
me: yes obviously, now stay on topic here. what im trying to tell you is that all art is political, no matter its supposed intentions. the global trolley problem of it all, ortiz's portrayal of rocky as an alien who gets to be as weird as he wishes he could be, the world's decision to choose a woman to be the scapegoat of humanity's survival--
movie!Grace, also trapped here: they did what to antarctica???
you'd better hurry up with your explanations before book!Rocky and movie!Rocky come to rescue their respective Graces from your dastardly kidnapping
Humans being persistent predators is probably a terrifying concept to Eridians. A creature that slowly follows you until your body forces you to sleep knowing you will be unable to wake up as they inevitably get closer and closer.
Grace’s explanation of old human hunting practices probably spawned a whole new genre of horror on Erid.
It spawns a whole new genre of horror in the scientists studying Grace.
Scientist: Rocky. You let this creature watch you sleep!
Rocky: Grace watch Rocky sleep for years.
Scientist: Persistence Predator Grace, who's claim to being an apex predator is to kill creatures when they sleep... that Grace.
Rocky: yes? I'm gonna introduce Grace to pebbles. Grace be good teacher to young.
Scientist: You want Grace, who eats sleeping creatures, to watch over children!
Rocky: yes?
Grace breathes rocket fuel
Grace's atmosphere is so scant that Erdians puff out of their carapace like blobfish taken from the depths of the ocean.
Grace can survive brief exposure to the vacuum of space.
Grace can see light so he can see an eridian when its hiding among rocks
Grace can walk any Eridian to exhaustion and then kill them
Grace can float, see, and swim, in water, so Eridians have no hiding spots on their entire planet.
Grace can adapt. Grace is human and humans have learned echolocation.
Grace: "that last one's not true. I cannot echolocate."
Scientist: "wikipedia on think machine says humans have done it."
Grace: "blind humans."
Scientist: "you said our planet is pitch black to you. Pitch black meaning you cannot see anything. You are blind outside your habitat."
Grace: "I mean. Yeah. But Rocky gave me a flashlight. So I'm not blind outside."
Scientist: "This flashlight. Stops you learning echolocation?"
...and thats how all of Erid lines their city streets with bright lights.
I wonder if Eridians would develop a genre of 'Chuck Norris'-type jokes about humans..

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When Grace picks the name "Rocky", to a human audience, it's kind of like a little joke, right? Oh haha, it's because he looks like a rock, plus a movie reference, right?
But what if the Eridians hear it very, very differently?
Eridians kind of ARE rocks, in more than one way, aren't they? Their outer appearance resembles rocks; and (this might be fanon, I don't recall right now) their *brains* are crystalline structures. They hatch from eggs that probably look like rocks. The environment they live in presumably contains rocks.
What if Eridians view rocks in a kind of reverent, aspirational way? Like "For rocks you are, and to rocks you shall return" but with less of a dismissive/humble tone and more of a "we are fundamental building blocks of reality in every form we take" thing.
And then Rocky is explaining to Eridian linguists who are studying Grace's English what his "human name" means, in English, and the linguists are giving him scandalized side-eye and going "So you met an alien and you told him that THAT was your name? [Wow, what kind of arrogant prick would do that?]" And Rocky is like, "no no nonono, I absolutely did not tell him that was my name. I gave him my real name! Grace picked that name for me, he didn't even ask me for suggestions, I had nothing to do with it! It was like right after we first met properly -- it didn't seem like he even had to think very hard about it."
The linguists question Grace about his reasoning, of course, and Grace is a little embarrassed because he thinks this is a "haha our human is bad at naming things, he found a Tau Ceti amoeba and named it Taumoeba, silly human!"
(Also, he does not want this to end up leading to a movie night where the first movie he has to show a bunch of ALIEN LINGUISTS is Rocky. Just seems like kind of a genre-mismatch, right? And Disney's Atlantis: The Lost Empire is *right there*. Or he could pick some movie that showcases a bunch of different real human languages really well, or... Something that's not a sports drama film.)
So he brushes it off a little, saying something like "Well, sure, it wasn't hard for me to decide to call him Rocky. I mean, it's kind of the obvious choice, yeah?"
And the thing is. It's established knowledge now that all humans can perceive things that Eridians can't perceive. It's not even like superstitious "ooh spooky aliens" woo-woo. Respected, credentialed Eridian biologists have confirmed that humans have *actual, physical organs* that let them detect phenomena that Eridians cannot detect.
So what the Eridian linguists are hearing is that this alien met Rocky, observed Rocky with its strange alien powers of perception, and immediately chose to give Rocky a name that conveys "you resemble the fundamental core of what all your people essentially are and aspire to be". And he said it was obvious.
Unstoppable force meets immovable object (wip)
Next
Caught the project hail mary fever and now i can't get out of the trenches, your honor they mean so much to me.
This is one comic i'm working on, there are going to be more parts. (Ps: nothing weird happens is mostly just grace trying to disgust rocky). I just love Grace and Rocky's relationship, they are so different but care so much for each other.
(I'm not sure if i should keep rocky in the ball or in a skin tight suit, like the tight suit would make more sense as to not squish grace, but the ball is so funny)
Jessica Rabbit
Art by Stephanie Pepper
Twitter | Inprnt
Friendly reminder that that is canon.
Toons are created to be funny. It makes sense that their standards of beauty would track that. Betty and Jessica, in that they look attractive to humans, are probably considered weird and unattractive to other Toons, while Roger has literal movie-star good looks!
Clarabelle Cow is probably the biggest pinup among Toons.
I mean, Betty Boop also has some funny moments, in her history, and I wouldn't say Jessica's act at the ink and paint club is completely po-faced.
Like. I think, based on the way they're described in the film it's absolutely true that Jessica is considered the lucky one, by toon standards, and Roger is a lot funnier than she is, but. Like, I wouldn't say she's completely unfunny and therefore, like, irredeemably hideous and the ugliest toon ever, by toon standards.
...Like, rating people's attractiveness isnt the best thing, but.
Like, I'm reminded of the Connecticut Clark memes, where the first thing said is that he's a 4/10.
Basically, Roger and Jessica are Malfina and Clark (from Connecticut).
POV: you are from Connecticut
(clark design inspired by @pencilbrony )
Connecticut Clark and Malfina

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take his clothes and take his glasses until there's nothing left to take
Grace: oh this Simon, so grumpy.
Rocky: grumpy? this bitch blind
HOW IT WENT DOWN IN THE HAIL MARY’S PERSPECTIVE
Apparently this WAS what people asked for… now it’s 2:30 am and I must feed the masses.
There are some instances in space where yes; people can hear you scream.
BONUS DOODLES!
Now it’s time for sleep, statement.
[x] part one
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