just bee things

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The little shriek you give makes John pause while he's mid sit. You'd said you wanted to pee before settling in for a movie night. He glances over to where the bathroom door is, and can see you hovering in the doorway looking up slightly.

He can guess where this is going.

"Oh fuck no - no. No. You go back up you fucker and let me pee god damnit."

When John leans over to see closer, he can see the perpetrator - a decent sized spider has been knocked out of the air vent that's situated over the toilet and is struggling with deciding whether to go up or down. Your own nervous rambling about the indecisiveness of this spider is more amusing than anything to Simon.

Finally it seems to go up and stay up, but you still don't move into the bathroom. Slowly you inch into the room, but you don't close the door and you never look away from the vent for long.

"John...?"

"Yes love?"

"....would you think less of me if I asked you to watch the vent while I peed incase the spider comes back?"

No he absolutely would not, and tells you as such as he dutifully stands guard over you so you can use the bathroom without worrying about the spider coming back.

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"Oh you motherfucker - get the fuck - nonoNO - !"

Johnny almost looses his balance with how fast he makes his way into the kitchen when he hears your cursing up a storm. He rounds the corner just in time to see you flinging the roll of paper towels across the room.

Both of you are still and silent, while Johnny tries to figure out what the hell is wrong.

"Hon- ?"

"There was a spider in the paper-towels" you interrupt before he can even ask. You're in some sort of defensive stance with your arms spread out at your sides as you refuse to look away from the paper-towels.

He doesn't mean to laugh he swears, but the absurdity of the situation is a little too much.

"Johnny - stop it - Johnny it was in-between the - stop laughing!"

But now you're laughing too as he pulls you into his arms to get you away from the spider he knows is making your nervous.

"Alright hon, stay over here - I got it."

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Simon likes to pride himself and being able to tell apart your tones of voice. He knows when you're happy or when you're sad. He can tell the difference between when you're yelling in excitement and when you're yelling in fear.

"SiiiiimoOON ~ !"

And he would know this one in his sleep. Without question he gets up from the kitchen table and makes his way to where you're calling from. He finds you in the hallway, hands clasped in front of you as you look up at him with those big, fearful eyes. He only smiles and presses a kiss to the top of your head before moving into the room to see where the offender is.

Said offender in on the bedspread doing nothing but existing.

"Sorry friend," Simon tells the spider as scoops it up and quickly moves it to the bedroom window. He tries not think too hard about it as he opens the window and gently as he can plop the spider into the outside.

He knows you won't go near him with "spider hands" so he dutifully ducks into the bathroom to wash his hands before he comes back and scoops you up into a hug.

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a/n: this came to me and i don't know what else to do with it lol

I know it's been a minute since I've posted anything COD related, buuuut I am working on the next part for PenPals slowly but surely 💕