me: *covered in scratch marks* i am still a powerful and respectable wizard, you know
my imp krongus: *doubtfully* yes, my lord
me: i did eventually kill the mouse with a needle for a sword
krongus: it’s just that it was so close, my lord
🪼

if i look back, i am lost
macklin celebrini has autism
cherry valley forever
Keni
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵

Xuebing Du

blake kathryn
Sweet Seals For You, Always

roma★
KIROKAZE
taylor price
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

izzy's playlists!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Misplaced Lens Cap
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will byers stan first human second

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@xbydefault
me: *covered in scratch marks* i am still a powerful and respectable wizard, you know
my imp krongus: *doubtfully* yes, my lord
me: i did eventually kill the mouse with a needle for a sword
krongus: it’s just that it was so close, my lord

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another history making marvel post I never see anyone talk about is “so is nobody helping blade kill all those vampires”
found it
basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*
*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god
*thunderous slam dunk noise*
fandom, in general

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got stuck on the toilet earlier and my inner monologue started coming in cookie monster's voice for some reason
James Marsters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer 5.07 "Fool for Love" (2000) // Costume design by Cynthia Bergstrom
I have this theory that the more defensive an animal is around their home, the tastier their offspring must be. I came up with this theory two summers ago when my friend and I accidentally stepped on a yellow jacket nest and they proceeded to sting us so incredibly painfully and stalk us to try to finish the job. We barely made it out alive! Since yellow jackets don’t actually make anything tasty like honey, I concluded that there must be something even tastier worth protecting; their offspring. Yellowjacket larvae must be so incredibly delicious and tender that they must not only deliver a powerful sting, but hunt down any trespassers to death. Anyway, I don’t have any evidence for this theory yet but I’m hoping to try it out soon by acquiring a beekeeper costume and grabbing a yellow jacket grub to see what it tastes like

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look at tony holding his little Cuck Goblet while thor’s entire pussy pops loud enough to break the sound barrier next to him. we do stan.
This is the only marvel post I will ever reblog it’s making me go insane
"adventurers are actually more scared of you than you are of them"
"he's literally just doing what an adventurer is supposed to do"
"do you think they think of us as Giant Adventurers?"
"do you know how many other creatures would be infesting our cave if there were no adventurers?"
"how would you like it if you were bumbling along on your little adventurer day, and some giant dragon thing squished you for the crime of being yourself?"
"y'know, so many dragons are grossed out by them, but i think they're fascinating! Did you know some adventurers form symbiotic relationships with small monsters? Some of them even do a simplified form of spellcraft! Like, with actual magic and everything!"
"Of course they are swarming your cave, you dolt! You captured a juvenile queen and took it home with you, what did you expect!?"
Fun FMA manga fact:
This isn’t mentioned in Brotherhood, but the reason Roy and Riza came to Resembool scouting out the Elrics is because someone fucked up the ages on Ed and Al’s file.
Literally Roy and Riza are riding in the back of some horse-drawn carriage into Resembool chatting with the driver like “yes we’ve heard rumors of two alchemist brothers here, Ed and Al Elric ages 31 and 30 respectively. Do you know where they live?” And the driver pretty much answers with “lol what? Those kids are like 10.”
Except now Roy and Riza are already THERE so they decide “Fuck it. Let’s pay a visit anyway.”
So everything that went down in the series is thanks to some mysterious fuck up in the Amestrian Intelligence Department and I salute that person.
Bonus: He buries his goddamn face in the document at the end, like staring at it closer might make it less wrong.
roy’s reaction is literally
Spot the difference

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why this a bop LMAO
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