Matt K.

imagine a swarm of 8 year olds, all wearing minecraft, angry birds and minion t shirts, running up to you and viscously beating the living shit out of you while chanting youtuber intros

this is really specific, are u ok

if abduction stories are true then why do aliens abduct so many people who do not want to be abducted when i’m here, a nice and abductable student, with exams coming up soon 

I saw a guy with a “Smart Phones Make Dumb People” bumper sticker talking on a Samsung Galaxy as he drove down the highway, and honestly I haven’t seen modern art in motion like that in my entire millennial life

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

GET THIS THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE

It took me5 minutes to reblog this because I was laughing so hard

its “thighs rubbing together under ya sundress” season

Buy cute, cheap lace leggings. Cut them a little above your knee. Hem them or don’t, but then you can wear them under your sundresses and not worry about how you sit or if your thighs chafe, and if anyone sees them they look cute af so hell yes

Or a little deodorant between the thighs is magical

Also, LUSH sells this dust called Silky Underwear that makes your skin smooth so they don’t stick together or chafe.

I love that we’re all here for each other in this season of need

Monistat has an anti-chafing gel that works wonders and I live by. You can usually find it in the feminine care aisle of any drugstore. 

There’s this stuff called Glide…pretty cheap & works hella miracles

I’m so ready for sundress season. 

reblog to save a thigh

REBLOG TO SAVE A THIGH

for my plushy mamas ☺️

plush solidarity ❤

i am friends with all the ocean critters

nice try, but axolotls are fresh water. they’re a type of salamander, so they’re amphibians. those bastards can fuck off

That is NO WAY TO SPEAK TO MY CHILD