The Worst Battle Matchups In History

Its hard for me to pick because these are all things I love dearly, but a choice must be made.

I'm gonna put gyros at the bottom because while they were absolutely delicious and made for a great few months, its kinda just a food. Temporary. Need to remake it every day. Not ideal

Next out is retro controllers because yes, they are great, but the only decent company that actually makes ones usable on modern systems is Hyperkin, and if you wanna change that, you need a brook wingman or something. So nah, they might be awesome and much loved, but I've gotta be harsh.

Next out for me is watches, because yes, they are a fantastic investment and make me look better, but some of mine got stolen by customs and I'm still pissed about it. Motherfucker better hope I never catch him.

Anyway yeah, I love watches, but they're not perfect. I won't bore you with the details

I'm picking keyboards because I am biased. Here are some of my favourites

This one looks exactly like the ice texture in Ice Path from Pokemon HeartGold and I am in love with it. I don't have it yet tho but I will order it and I will love it forever.

This one sounds very nice to type on. I have it with the lebog reaper switches. They keys and little screen are also great.

This one is great to type on and has awesome customizability, but the backlighting makes it hard to see if you're typing in a dark room

This one is full metal, sounds amazing and is very fun for playing games. It also fits well with a wrist rest if you like a wrist rest.

This one is super nice to type on and sounds great with o-rings (rubber bands that you put inside your keys to dampen them). I will most likely repurpose its parts to mod other keyboards, though. Not now tho, cuz I enjoy it.

This one is AWESOOOOOOME, I'm getting it for my birthday and its cool cuz it matches the Maji Man colours and sounds delightful to type on

This one matches my mouse and also has cool media knobs

This one is see through. Like a diamond. Diamond keyboard. I want it so bad.

This one is a typewriter that you can use with your phone. Nuff said. Imagine me on a train writing WhatsApp messages on this bitch. Amazing.

I am using this one right now. Its amazing. So cool. So yellow. So metal. Its like I took a piece of an alien ship and made it into a keyboard.

I don't even want this one, I just wanna give it to Shippit because I love them sosososososossosooooo much

I want a wooden keyboard though, look at this, its amazing.

Aaaaand I want this one cuz it has everything in one, except a volume wheel, which doesn't matter because I'm getting one of those seperately.

This is gonna be controversial, but I'm gonna put Vader last purely because he left it too damn long and never really accepted his problems were his fault until it was too late. I know that's gonna drive star wars fans nuts, but hear me out: it just wasn't too well written in the perspective of the other characters. I'm sure that there's some obscure comic George Lucas wrote on a fast food napkin that I haven't read yet that has some kind of after story where Vader's redemption arc lasts more than 20 on screen minutes, but remember, his journey as Vader lasted over 20 on screen years with ample time to make some kind of change, and mental health aside, he actively chose not to. That's his fault. And I can't really call that a stellar redemption arc, as much as I like the character.

Next on the list for me is Omni Man because as Debbie told him, his actions were too awful for a simple apology to make it right. He even went as far as to go and have another kid pretty much immediately, even more immediately so because a few weeks passes like a good piss to a Viltrumite, NOT TO MENTION the fact that he tried to diss Andressa to win over Debbie again as if that's gonna help. And yes, I know he does end up somewhat turning his life around, but that doesn't take away from the numerous battles that he gets his sons involved in and the political unrest he basically fails to deal with even though he knows the consequences. Cool character, and its good that he reconciles with his family, but as far as being redeemed, he did a pretty shitty job.

Strangely, next for me is Vegeta, because yes, he does sacrifice himself to try and stop Buu and does kinda accept that he's a trash person in hell, I feel there was still a liiiiittle bit of work to be done in my opinion. Fighting Kid Buu was absolutely a step in the right direction, and helping wish all the people back was too, but I feel like that was kind of a copout. Like, the dragon balls are a cheat code. And let's not forget, hell isn't exactly a challenge for a saiyan warrior so to say he suffered like his victims is a tiiiiny stretch for me. Even so, he definitely was more or less redeemed in my book so he is a very close second.

People mad at me for the last two answers don't know Castlevania.

Dracul absolutely steals this for me because he did the absolute most to make up for how he treated his wife and son, and he succeeded, hands down. He gave up dominion over the world for centuries, faked his own death and let his enemies take credit for it, put himself through the absolute ringer fighting Satan's acolytes, all so he could free the world from the power of darkness once and for all, like he always wanted to do. He, of his own free will, gave up the bulk of his power, ALL of his power over the world, all so humanity could take control and live their best lives, knowing full well he'd never, ever die anyway.

NOT TO MENTION he walked through all his memories, faced his past and actually physically met with his family in the castle with a whole new lease on life, fully acknowledging he didn't do enough, consumed by regret for killing his son even if he did it unknowingly, and even taking responsibility for letting his wife down by fighting Camilla while weakened to protect her. The old Dracul wouldn't do that.

I'm really gonna shock you... Invincible is bottom of the list for me.

Yeah, the memes are ridiculous beyond all reasonable measure, but at the end of the day, its funny. You could walk past a guy in a suit in the middle of town, show him the SEA SALT!!!! meme and he may well have seen it, you could never tell just by looking at him. Really, its all just fun and games, so they have far from the worst brainrot.

Next on the list is Umamusume, by a short jump, because spending real life money on the chance to win a horse girl is premium brainrot. Inoffensive, but premium brainrot. It has classic brainrot memes, gacha, edits, you name it, Umamusume has it, but ultimately falls short because really, it ends there. We've got worse.

Third on the list is Star Wars, because memes aside, I wholeheartedly believe that Star Wars fans aren't aware that Star Wars isn't real. I partly blame the many, many writers because the franchise has been around for way too long to have a cohesive, cut and dry lore system, but the fans don't have the introspection to register that most of the time. Its their version, or no version. I have seen podcasts of 40 year old men arguing over the logistics of laser swords as if they're getting paid 7 figures for it. I have seen people literally cry out of anger because of Star Wars lore not going the way they want it to. No matter what Star Wars content you click on, the comments will be filled with hate for the sequels. These fans live and breathe Star Wars to the point where it effects their ability to live normally, and it really doesn't get much more brainrot than that...

...except it does.

Cocomelon literally invented modern brainrot.

Cocomelon viewers literally cannot function.

Cocomelon is the sole reason for the average reading age being in the state that it is now.

Cocomelon is the reason that being able to write your name, let alone a full sentence by age 10 is considered academic excellence.

Cocomelon has fucked shit up in kids brains so bad that we haven't even begun to study the long term effects because getting these kids out of the house for school, let alone into a facility, is nigh on impossible.

I come from a family with many teachers. Most of whom have been teaching for 20 plus years. They have all confirmed, independently, that kids today are less than half as functional than they were 20 years ago, and its basically all down to Cocomelon.

Some of you may disagree, but when its having real world effects and genuinely forcing school systems globally to change to adapt to the brainrot, and the gateways into even worse brainrot that Cocomelon causes, there's a clear cut winner.

While the empire really isn't great, Palpatine was way too focused on high society to cause most people any real trouble. Yeah, Stormtroopers can be assholes, but ultimately, if you just stay out of their way and don't cause trouble, they'll leave you alone so I can see myself getting through this.

Same thing with the D.U.P. Yes, Augustine has no problem attacking civilians, but at the end of the day, if you're not a conduit, you'll be fine. No problemo. I'll take the roadblocks and weird looks from soldiers without a care in the world.

The UNSC do absolutely suck and actively cause problems for people, but at the end of the day, what you've gotta remember is the fact that they have a very good reason. The Covenant will absolutely not rest until humanity is gone, and their martial law and sacrifice is what ultimately ended up getting many people off of Reach and saving countless lives. Plus, the Spartan program did end up turning the tide of a lot of the battles, so if they wanna order me around, I'll take it, cuz they clearly know shit that I don't.

Where. Do I even. BEGIN.

Are you on American soil? Are you classed as an immigrant on a scale anywhere from "have eaten an enchilada recently" all the way up to "are brown and have a twang in your accent"? Then you are FUCKED.

I.C.E will straight up walk into civilians homes, bash their doors down, kidnap and torture them and then act like they're heroes with absolutely zero proof of anything. You could have your paperwork, testimonies, and pay the very same taxes them and their bosses avoid, they simply do not care, get your ass in the cage or be shot dead in the street.

There's no threat. No big bad sombrero-wearing enemy. They just love the power of wearing masks and making people's lives hell.

While hallucination Roy from recent episodes might have a chance because he's basically Palpatine, Sojiro has a past. He was a secret agent. And his beard is sharp as fuck, so that could be used as a stabbing weapon.

And sure, Roy has the cricket bat of rage, but honestly, with prices in the hundreds for a plate of curry rice, Sojiro's prices on their own would take that bat and boil it for extra nutrients.

Naughty bear was my childhood slasher game, I have many many good memories of him, he was even the subject of my first ever video on the Maji Man YouTube channel, whereas Winnie The Pooh was more something I was drenched in when I was basically a baby. Naughty bear is the winner for me.

Its hard to really tell, but I think unless its a random encounter, Mami wins this pretty easily

Yeah, Mizuhara is bigger than her by a decent enough amount, but Mami is just too damn creative. Mizuhara would need to take her by surprise or Mami would just use her environment like its Mortal Kombat. Bricks, mirrors, plates, nearby children, the works. Mizuhara won't win if Mami gets even a second to look around and find something to bash or slash her with.