Daisy Darling

Going to the dentist is such an embarrassing experience. Sorry that my tongue is in the way. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for having a tongue

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

Cops are here.

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

gets shot to death for experiencing desire

How Long Do i have to wait

dammit i was supposed to fix everything today

sorry to my bloodline but its over

I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

Humans keeping cats and dogs as family members is like three prodigy assassins being introduced in the back of a shady nightclub and 45 minutes later they’re 6 crunchwrap supremes deep passing a blunt in the back of a shag carpeted Volkswagen microbus rating Oreo varietals by fuckability

tumblr users have the unique ability to string together sentences never before seen in all of human history and yet they conjure up such specific visceral imagery that you can’t help but be a little in awe. and i think that’s beautiful

Love and peace on planet earth

wow you folks write some really good posts keep it up 👍 puts my hands into my pockets and stands there a little too long

basketballs smell gross 

go to hell??

why are you defending the smell of a ball