Just a bit Witchy

whats a gender neutral word you could use for your spouse? wusband?? hife?? wifesband?!?!?

i may be stupid

This is the text version of looking for your glasses when they are on your head

Can comfirm, i am Quite Fat ™ but i still hit my punching bag hard enough last week make it touch the ceiling and broke a finger in the process

i love and support all strong, fat people

I love the generational gap between emoji usage. Anyone over 50 sees 🙃 and thinks "silly time! whee 🙃", whereas the rest of us immediately hear, verbatim, "they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would ne--"

anytime someone talks about “double texting” im just like. sorry. cant relate. every single person i actually text will receive 14 texts in a row at 11pm about whatever random thing im thinking about

I always get confused when people apologize for texting. Like, dude, my phone volume hasn’t been on since I bought this phone and it is face down at night, you could text me at any time as much as you want and I’ll respond whenever I notice them without any though of the time or volume of responses I send back. Relax and reach out freely, babies

I live my life under the basic principle that people know their minds, bodies, genders, and orientations better than I do so I just take them at their word when they say they are a thing.

"But people could be faking for-" I don't care. I would rather show someone a kindness they don't need than not show them one they do.

And to be clear, the reason Typhoid Mary got so much shit is because she was told she was a carrier for Typhoid and so she could not under any circumstances work as a cook, and she definitely, definitely needed to wash her hands when preparing food, especially did she need to wash her hands after going to the toilet. So, with these instructions she was let out of quarantine. She immediately changed her name and got a job as a cook in a MATERNITY HOSPITAL where she continued to not wash her hands after pooping. She was put back into quarantine by public health authorities (after killing several women), then again let out after promising to stop being a cook, then did the same thing again. She wasn't stigmatised for being a typhoid carrier, she was stigmatised for not taking a few basic precautions to avoid passing on a fatal disease to others

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

This is so important

i know people complain about the “heavy violence set to an upbeat tune” trope being over done in media but my guy, i eat that shit UP. the utter joy that i experienced watching the iconic coffee shop scene, five taking out all those men set to “istanbul not constantinople” was s t e l l a r

I also enjoy the “violent action scene pauses while the protagonists escape into an elevator and have to wait awkwardly to elevator music for a bit, before the doors open and violence/action music immediately resumes” trope.

I briefly forgot there were normal humans named Elijah and wondered why this person thought they were getting messages from Actual Prophet and Messiah-Herald Elijah the Tishbite.

….yeah me too.

Me three.

Imagine getting visions of someone else’s holy prophet and having to text your friends like “….what am I supposed to do with that?”

I have not laughed that hard in so long I literally cannot remember when.

[ID: A picture of an orange and white cat dipping its paw into a small pond with lily pads in it.]

Honestly, in my work as a therapist, I’m seeing this A Lot, and tbh I still don’t have a satisfactory approach to it. A heavy dose of Existentialist “create your own Purpose” tempered with “when the plane’s going down, put your own oxygen mask on first”, but… yeah, there is no ethical way to work on individual emotional distress without acknowledging the systemic socioeconomic, geopolitical fuckery going on at the moment, and the sheer grief that comes with it.

The fact that both the tweet and these reblogs are pre-pandemic makes this post even worse