My Abby Langdon headcanon:
The Pitt doesn't give us a whole host of details about Abby. We know she's the primary caregiver for the kids, and that Frank isn't the best husband in terms of supporting her in that. But I don't like the idea that "Frank wins the bread, and Abby sets the table" is the dynamic. Instead, I think that Abby is really capable in her own right.
I think that Abby is a corporate lawyer and that she and Frank met during grad-school. She was taken in by his quick wit, acerbic humour, and boyish charms. He was enamored with her smarts and her competence in her field.
During lock-down Abby went full remote, and she and Frank had an intense long-distance relationship. Abby didn't have a large bubble, and her work kept her very busy. Frank was on the front line of the Covid crisis - a very junior resident. His and Robby's initial relationship was forged in that. And he was so alive and also so emotionally raw during that time, maintaining this relationship from afar. It was electric. And once Covid began to ease off? He and Abby moved in together.
It was intense - all the bottled up intensity of 18 months + in isolation spilling out. They screwed like rabbits and it was a complete fly-away romance. Frank made big gestures, and Abby capitalized on her ability to work remote. They vacationed, with her working half days. They took long weekends. It wasn't often - Frank's schedule was still grueling. But it was intense. They were in love and in love with their love. And along came Tanner. And then Penny. And then things started to slow down.
And slowly, Abby realized that, in truth, Frank wasn't Mr. Right. But he was, on the whole, Mr. Good-Enough. And then Frank seriously injured his back helping his parents move. It was stupid and a freak accident. But it laid him out for months. But, as he recovered he was there - he was present. He took his job as father seriously as he took his job as doctor. And Abby convinced herself they could make it work.
And then Frank was back at work. And it just got harder and harder. Abby and the kids showed up to Frank's work events - she met his colleagues and loved how Frank was around them. But there was a distance and a stress there too. That she was outside of his world. And then he was put on the program for his addiction. And she realised something: He wasn't even Mr. Good-Enough for her. Not because he was a bad man. But because he was a man who needed a kind of support she really didn't want to give.
But, she refused to ditch him then. To ditch him while he was in rehab. Oh, she thought about it - told him that she thought about it. Told him she wouldn't leave him alone though. Not him, not the kids. But that they would need to figure something out, because it wasn't working.
At first, the focus was Frank's recovery. Abby is a good person. And she cares about Frank. But once he cleared those first hurdles? Once he started getting to a good place? She insisted on couples counseling.
What started as a traditional "Save the marriage" evolved into a "lets disassemble this marriage so you can both still care about each other even if you aren't with each other."
Abby doesn't want to take the kids away. She doesn't want to kick him out of the house. Sure, they have a pair of beds now, but they share a bed room and family responsibilities and they're working out how to start clean as co-parents and as friends.
That's why Frank isn't wearing his ring before shift. It's why he's specific about Abby. But also why he doesn't seem fully comfortable with it. And it is this separation that makes room for him to ask himself what he wants in a partner just like it will allow Abby. To ask himself what he loved and what he too struggled with but just buried.
Abby loved his passion for medicine, but his nerdiness about reenactors bored her. He loved her professional competency, but struggled with her total dislike for spontaneity after their honeymoon period. They loved each other. And love a lot of each other still. But they don't work together anymore.
And this is how I balance my desire for Kingdon with my equal and opposite desire not to make Abby a shrew. People are allowed to grow and change. And sometimes the things we built weren't right that first time. And that is okay. Abby cares about Frank. She supports him and his recovery. But they aren't right for each other any more. And now they have a long, hard road to building a cooperation and compromise that lets them find the people that are. And it was meeting Mel that helped Frank understand that those next steps with Abby were important and good for him too.
And I think it plays into the contrast between Frank "I'm in therapy and a program" Langdon and Michael "Deflection is a healthy coping mechanism, trust me" Robinavitch. That Frank will go through what should be a tragedy, but actually handle it because he has support and help, while Robby is going to get himself killed taking it all on.
And I think it feeds into teaching Frank lessons that he can't show to Abby - because he can't unring the bell of their mutual failures - but that will inform how he embarks with Mel. How he shows up for her support of Becca and for her. Because it is somehow easier with her and he doesn't know why.
