All fucked up and I make it look good

the thing about fiber art that nobody tells you about is that every single kind of fiber art is a gateway drug to other kinds of fiber art.

I owned this soap at one point. They also have a Spock soap

Intelligent alien species based on bugs but specifically those moths that don’t have mouths and only live for a week after they pupate. This species’ whole conscious life is actually in the larval phase; larvae are the ones considered people, larvae are the ones with conscious and complex brains who build society, and each instar of the larva is treated as a different phase of life. Larvae become emotionally and socially and cognitively mature without ever becoming sexually mature. When they pupate, they metamorphose into something different and strange and close to mindless, with no mouth and no digestive system, whose only instincts are to mate and then quickly die. Metamorphosis is treated, functionally, like a person’s death, and the imago phase is a kind of proto-afterlife of majestic flight and the continuation of the species. Birth and death inextricably intertwined. Sex is not something people do during their lives, it’s a thing that is done as an imago after you’ve passed on from your life but before you return to the soil in death. Resultant eggs are collected by family members to raise. I think this would be fun.

i do think we should normalise being like. platonically enamoured with someone. perhaps i love and admire you dearly and there's nothing romantic about it

Ever since I got a job as a security guard I can’t take heist movies seriously anymore.

Why is that?

The Team abandons their high-tech high-concept plans and pull up to the front door in a battered van. Wearing blue jumpsuits or work clothes, they trudge into the lobby carrying bundles of cable and tools, and in a show of class solidarity the security guard just unlocks everything.

#how long have we been holding on to this one?

i’ve had this queued for 365 days

We just not going to talk about how he can also do pottery? With chocolate?

And stickers!

he HAS A not chocolate version of that god damned bowl right there! TAUNTING US, and holding the not pastries kiwis!

The exception is cheesy local commercials. Those should be the only ads. I will listen to someone who runs a store in my city doing an awkward rap. We once had a furniture store with these awful CGI ads and the slogan "where the deals are so low, it's almost criminal!" and then they got shut down, by the cops, because it turned out. It turned out the deals were so low because. You're not going to believe this but the prices were so low it was in fact