fighting for my life out here

i do think it’s funny when you’ve been into a thing long enough that you’ve done all the serious analysis you can do so now you’re mostly just thinking up looney tunes scenarios to put the characters in

looney tunes scenarios which are most importantly still impeccably in-character because of all the aforementioned serious analysis

reading a historical romance novel and reflecting on the way these stories often present woke nobility for the contemporary reader. a big thing is servants. you can’t not have servants in those times but many modern readers think “but I would never have servants. it would be so weird to have servants” and in order to make the protagonists of the story more relatable they are actually friends with the servants. but flip your perspective and think of it from the side of the servants. wouldn’t it be so awful if your boss was always trying to be friends with you. a really common thing you’ll see is the woke baronet having tea in the kitchen with the servants bc he’s not like other baronets. but what if your boss wanted to hang out and talk during your lunch break every day. not so charming when you think about it that way

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

I’m not saying it was a good idea but every society has tried to solve the problem of “society needs organization to function but power tends to corrupt people” and I like how ancient Rome’s answer was the position of the tribune, where you get to have unchecked power with no accountability for one (1) year but after that you’re just a guy and everyone you pissed off can beat you to death with hammers.

a female character talking abt another female character could be like "i love her. she is the most important thing in the world to me. i am deeply in love with her. all i think about is her. my entire world is centered on how much i love her. i just really really fucking love her" and people will still be like "this could be platonic"

honestly having a brother is a lot like just knowing some guy

ok i absolutely need to know what accents u all have pls reblog and tell me or comment or whatever I must know

when i was born they rushed all the nurses into the room. called the whole hospital. Here’s the baby that doesn’t cry they said

we love to applaud performative masculinity

I was a stoic

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

*sees whatever the fandom is doing* there's a really good story happening on the actual show if you want to watch that instead

Baby gym trainer: tummy time is hard BUT NO PAIN NO GAIN FELLAS!! LETS DEVLOP THOSE NECK MUSCLES

everyone give it up for mysterious knee bruise

Now I do think it is true that one reason Americans don’t Understand™️ soccer is because the national sports reference point is the most authoritarian sport, American Football

Our second national reference point is baseball, another authoritarian sport

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin