fighting for my life out here

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

i feel like we've completely killed the ability to just gently tell someone when they're wrong or that their opinions don't pass the vibe check. we have to accommodate every single type of person and all their dogshit opinions OR we have to drive them off the internet, no in between

i really fuck with it when my oomfs start their posts in media res. they'll open it with a phrase like "it's just funny because..." and then i look at their blog to see what's funny and. nothing.

It's like how Beowulf opens with a call to attention.

posting is exactly like beowulf

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

wow babe you’re really good at staying up incredibly late and barely sleeping every night

fiction got off soooo lucky with dreams and hallucinations. imagine if the human brain didn't come with a built-in path to surreal imagery that could perfectly represent abstract themes and emotional truths through metaphor. we'd be so fucked man

eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk. you deserve it.

(sigh) okay... (CRUUEEENNNCH....) (SCREEEEEENCH...) owie.. (CRUUEEENCH)

this is one of the most rewarding things about posting self care tips on this site. witnessing people's lives getting better in real time. this is why I post

having feelings that contradict your morals is soooo fucking annnoooooyyyiiingggggg. can the emotions and logic department get on the same page im tired of having to like strangle myself into being a tolerable person

notice how nobody liked being at work today

you cant enjoy a story unless youre prepared to deal with the consequences (seeing a multitude posts by ppl who somehow missed the core themes and details of the very story they supposedly experienced)

hey its me your normal coworker. ignore the spiral-pattern fujoshi glasses.

Argentina strategy: keep your fans on suicide watch for two hours and then lock the fuck in