fighting for my life out here

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

(petting you gently and whispering in your ear) you’re so fucked. it’s over for you

scientist with a bumper sticker that says "gone 'sperimentin'" next to a big bubbling beaker

people don’t enjoy shipping anymore. the point of shipping isn’t the catharsis of watching them kiss onscreen, it’s grabbing the characters and mashing their faces together like you’re five years old playing Barbie in your room again. it’s to take one moment of eye contact in canon and read that over and over and over again with twenty different writers’ interpretations of the characters internal monologues if they were in love. it’s to see the characters interact and cheer because you know that’s another moment to add to your list of canon compliant fic ideas. you’re stressing yourself out, this is supposed to be fun!

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

this isn't the gif i thought it would be .

I love watching someone I follow specifically for being a pretentious well-read opinionated hater fall head over ass into an incredibly smooth-brained and mid media property. I’m being dead serious I genuinely love it. Reminds us to stay humble. All the essays in the world cannot save you from becoming singlemindedly obsessed with something that’s just kind of dumb.

ambitious indie project this, surprise box-office hit that, iron lung (production budget: $3mil) is the 'someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this, my family is dying' tweet.

Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

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