Timestamp 0001

you may have noticed that my blog is disorganized and thematically incoherent and my tag game is weaker by the day. this is commentary on the chaos of modern existence

ok i would like to clarify it has to be music and it can't just be a short song that's been looped a bunch. that still counts as several songs in one file, it's just several of the same song in one file. no audiobooks no podcasts no plants vs zombies theme 2 hour loop

be nicer to sex workers

u need to engage with sex workers as actual workers of the same class as u and not victims who need saving. u need to show respect for us publicly further than just reblogging our promos and posts abt giving us money. u need to publicly support full service workers. u need to not expose sex workers to ur puritanical, reactionary followers. u need to be nicer to sex workers.

equal rights for women will never truly be achieved until we have more female noir detectives

and i don't mean some badass woman who doesn't need a man and can kill someone in 6 inch heels without breaking a sweat or smudging her perfectly set makeup or chipping a nail. she looks like she grew up in a soggy cardboard box on the side of the road all alone. she monologues dramatically to herself while looking over the corruption-riddled city she works in because she has no friends or hobbies and will literally do anything except go to therapy. she gets beat up in alleyways so blood and rain drip sexily from her nose and chin but when she gets to her feet she looks like a sad wet cat. women want her but they also pity her. instead of perfume she smells of coffee, whiskey and cigarettes, which are also more or less all she lives off of. her voice is more gravelly than a pit of rocks as a result of said diet. she hasn't slept or showered in at least 3 days and it's increasingly obvious. she's either divorced or feels like she should be.

yeah okay gimme a sec

this lady's so much of a mess she's smoking the damn cig backwards

The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Older is a great book recommendation for those looking for lesbian disaster detectives. It's also just a good book tbh

I love this SO MUCH actually

The post that started it all

*tour guide voice* and directly ahead you can see the origins of what is now known as the Mishapocalypse

Yo dude what the fuck

YOU DIDN'T KNOW???

I THOUGHT HE WAS ALWAYS A GUY????

Yo dude what the fuck

YOU DIDN'T KNOW???

I THOUGHT HE WAS ALWAYS A GUY????

I’m tired and cold and vaguely sore. I need to be steamrolled or cranked through one of those pasta presses. Or stretched out like taffy.

I wish I had stopped to savor it, the last time I saw a kung pow penis. I never knew it was to be my last

IM CLUTCHING MY FUCKING PEARLS

GOOD NEWS KUNG POW PENIS IS RETURNING WE MADE THEM REVERSE THE CHANGE

LUNG POW PENIS IS BACK ON THE MENU!!

*K

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Extremely weird how many people decided to respond to this post by instead bragging about their Ignoble Despicable Savage view of appalachians

I just have a healthy fear for the terrifying cryptids that could only come out of a place so ancient and nothing but mad respect for any humans who manage to live there too.

every place is ancient that's how the earth works