Hihihihi what's your fave trope to read and what are your Barson recs?
Ohhhhh. It's actually a little tough to think of specific tropes? I read pretty much anything, so I never really focus on tropes in particular.
I love a good Rivals to Lovers or Enemies to Lovers. I like tension and angst and pining. A Jealous! character too, though I don't know if that's an actual trope. I do love a Fake Relationship trope too, those are always fun!
But mostly any trope can work for me as long as it's well written and the characterisations feel true to character.
Barson recs under the cut! All on AO3. I'm so sorry if I'm reccing any fics you've already read but these are some of my faves. The list also got longer than I intended, whoops! Also, I'd encourage you to check out the writers other fics too if they have them. There's a lot of good stuff around, this is just a list of some of my favourites.
Okay, I'm so sorry but I'm starting y'all off with a heartbreaking one. That I may have inspired and absolutely loved. It does involve Major Character Death.
at your best, you were love by twentyfive_acts
By the same writer, it's a bit of a slow burn and it's only 4 chapters right now but still a great read! Honestly, any fic by twentyfive_acts I recommend. Warning: the first chapter does involve some 🤢Benson/Stabler🤮
Unlove You by twentyfive_acts
The next one is a fun, light-hearted AU of season 22 involving a Fake Relationship between Olivia and Barba. It's a nice contrast to most of the angst that comes out of the Barson fandom. Also just really enjoy most of what praxidikai has written for Barson.
Wicked Game by praxidikai
A complete AU and more pre-Barson than Barson but absolutely devastatingly emotional and poignant. Also wonderfully well-written. Check the tags and warnings before reading though!
Echoes of the Act by KelpieLurks & MargoBlack
A fun and sexy Five Times fic in essence! There's only 3 chapters of 7 so far but it's so, so funny and it's another by MargoBlack who is a fantastic writer! I'd recommend checking out any of their other Barson fics too.
All the Good Things by MargoBlack
The next is a plane crash and survival fic with lots of mutual pining and undertones of love. Barson aren't exactly together but it's still very Barson.
Sky Above, Ground Below by iridiumflower
Anything by adrianna_m_scovill is Barson gold in my opinion. Set during the show and is essentially a baby!fic. I love a surprise baby/child in fics and this one is a brilliant one.
Making a Family by adrianna_m_scovill
This one may not be to your liking since it's a crossover with Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. It's very fun and slightly angsty Barson fic. But seriously, read pretty much anything by adrianna_m_scovill.
About Time by adrianna_m_scovill
One of the very first fics I ever read of Barson and it was so good and so beautifully well-written. It's a Barson slow-burn and one of the best in my opinion. I would suggest checking the tags and warnings though.
A Hand On Your Face In The Dark by rosehips
Another by rosehips. It's an Established angsty Barson fic but is unfortunately unfinished and will remain so. But it's still very, very much worth the read! Once again, check the tags and warnings.
Reasonable Doubt by rosehips
Long and hilarious Marriage of Convenience fic with kids! Pining galore! I think about this one so often and reread it cause it makes me giggle. Great appearances by Rita Calhoun too if you're a fan.
light becomes what it touches by awkwardspiritanimals
Another by awkwardspiritanimals. Long oneshot about a truth spell that wreaks havoc on Barba and Benson. It's delightful but also a little sad in my opinion. Very, very good read though and I kind of love the characterisations in this one.
and we found our song and we found our truth by awkwardspiritanimals
A very fun AU where Barson meet when they're much, much younger. If you like alternate versions of their story, this is definitely a good fic for you. Lewd_Intentions is a very good writer with some really interesting characterisations with a ton of Barson fics.
Wear the Same Crown by Lewd_Intentions
One of my favourite Barson fics I've ever read! A Witness Protection AU set in the timeline of the show complete with angst, mutual pining, slow burn and sex. Just a great all round read!
Broken Compasses by immen_sity
Another by immen_sity! This one is an angsty slow burn Barson cheating fic with a smidge of Tuckson. I honestly love it though and go back to reread it quite often.
Leave No Trace Behind by immen_sity
Another Barba with a child fic (which is like, probably my favourite situation to see him in apparently!) but this one is full of angst and a slow burn. One of the first Barson fics I read. Not complete but one off of finished, so still definitely worth reading. It does deal with Abuse pretty heavily so definitely check the tags and warnings before reading.
you can run (but only so far) by bcofl0ve
An immediate follow-up to 19x13 The Undiscovered Country where Barba doesn't just disappear into the ether without a word. A really, really lovely story about healing and becoming a family. One of my favourites.
The Rediscovered Country by theoofoof
This one is long but very worth it. An AU where Barson meet during 1.0 time and fall in love. It's really, really good. Very human and a little heartbreaking at times but still worth the read.
Inevitable by scintillatingtart
The last is a sort of funny one set during the 1.0 era where Olivia and Barba are married long before Olivia joins SVU and Stabler is an idiot. Very funny if not exactly in character. Not completely finished but still definitely worth the read.
HIM?! Really? by AnneOwl2803
Would it be incredibly self-serving to rec one of my own fics? I'm going to anyway because even though this one isn't tagged Barson, it is absolutely a Barson fic in my soul! Set post season 23 and just complete angst but deals with the unresolved feelings between Olivia and Rafael, in a fashion.
Too Close To The Sun by me! LittleTayy
EDITED ADDITION:
Apparently the underlying theme here is Barba with a Baby which really shouldn't be a surprise for anyone that knows me. Haha. I apparently enjoy that trope so much I've contributed to it. I'm surprised this list isn't all just Barba with a Baby fics tbh.
This one is another fun one that features baby daddy Barba, jealous Olivia and a history with Rita Calhoun. Not finished but still very worth the read in my opinion!
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I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.
so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.
So for strokes the signs are abbreviated BE FAST. Balance loss, Eyesight changes, Face drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulty, -> Time to call 911.
Had I known those MAYBE I would have figured it out but my symptoms were a little mixed. I was reading (fanfic!) in bed because it was a sunday morning and i had nothing pressing to do and suddenly got dizzy. I put my laptop aside because my eyes were blurring (Eyesight changes - symptom #1), and laid down, thinking it would pass, it didn't, it's a little vague how it progressed because I'd been having headaches and neckpain for about 3 weeks leading up to it so I was like 'idk is this a migraine?' (headaches can be a stroke symptom so symptom #2) but i got nauseous and eventually got up and to my utmost surprise I immediately fell over as if I was the drunkest of frat bros. The room literally spun before my eyes as I fell to the floor (Balance loss - symptom #3). I have had some Nights and I had never been that unsteady before. I crawled my way to the bathroom, threw up (nausea - not a common stroke symptom) , took 800mg of ibuprofen, and crawled back to bed.
if you know anything about ibuprofen you might know it's a mild blood thinner and that's a high dose. I may have inadvertently helped myself with that one. I was just feeling like shit and thinking 'idk this might help'
At this point I still thought we were still in Normal Land. Sure, it was a weird morning, but Surely There Was A Reason. (Yes There Was) Anyway, as I'm lying there willing my body to stop suffering I realize my arm is going numb (stroke symptom #4) and I switch positions, because weird, but it doesn't go away, and I gave it a good little while. I'm on a medication that can make my limbs tingle but it usually just does it to my fingers and it dissipates quickly but this wasn't dissipating, and then I realized one of my legs was also going numb. Then one side of my face is going numb.
(at the time I did not look in the mirror but I had a drooping eyelid - symptom #5)
Those all seem bad. I grab my computer and google 'when to go to the hospital for dizzyness' as that felt like the worst of my problems. and indeed the list I found highlighted that if you are also experiencing loss of balance, blurred vision, nausea, and limb numbness, you should see a doctor. That seems like far too many symptoms to be having all to be listed. I grab my phone (thankfully plugged in and by my bed), and start layering on more clothing because it's about 10 degrees out and i'm in a pajama dress. The very nice man at 911 talks with me and sends an ambulance, I tell him I don't think I can get out the front door of my building on my own and he asks if I can get to MY apartment door to which I say yes and he assures me that's fine they will have keys to my building.
(I have been since informed they love to chop down doors but no, I could get that far)
I wait by my door laying down on the ground and they arrive pretty quickly. They see to me in the hallway, which is more of a lobby in my building and the only place with room for me to lie down (I cannot stand unassisted at this point) they ask me a bunch of questions, take vitals, and ask me where I would like to be taken. Me, having never had to go to the fucking hospital in an emergency before, simply go 'wherever is close' because I again, I am having a stroke and do not have the wherewithal to think through these things.
A big firefighter helps me down the stairs (it's only a half flight and I still almost did not make it) and we get underway.
At the hospital they wheel me into triage and I mostly lie there gratefully and answer some questions and respond to some tests (grip strength, following a pen with my eyes, that sort of thing) and then I hear what is great when you've been at urgent care for two hours but what is Very Bad when you just arrived in an ambulance and that's 'She's next'. I jumped the line for a CT scan and an MRI. I was there less than ten minutes before I was actively being scanned. honestly closer to five.
my active symptoms seem to have been worse than some of the stories I've heard, not being able to walk AT ALL in particular, although some other are pretty equal (Footless Jo on youtube had a stroke around the same time I did of the same type and has discussed hers, she delayed going in despite the severity for a variety of reasons and it sounds like her recovery has been difficult) My recovery was pretty easy because i was actively being cared for and on blood thinners right away. I was pretty out of it in the beginning, but I was only in the hospital for 6 days and then in a rehab for another 4 to relearn how to walk and balance, then i was released unto the world and just spent time going to physical therapy and recovering for awhile. I was out of work for about 8 weeks total. I basically had the best outcome for a stroke. I recovered almost fully back to 100% (I'm about 2% less sure footed than I used to be, but it's rarely noticeable), my face still feels a little weird but has markedly improved so I live in hope it will eventually get back to normal. It massively sucked. But strokes can fuck you up for life and I came out a weird medical story to tell and have to take some extra medication now/precautions to take (i cannot do certain types of yoga, no weightlifting, no push ups, no going on rollercoasters.... things that could strain my neck essentially) but overall I escaped very lucky.
For anyone who has ever had covid before, please be sure you are aware of stroke symptoms. Each successive infection raises the risk in a pretty major way, and a lot of people are dying young due to not knowing these signs or being afraid to act on them. Please take care of yourselves.
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relentlessly funny to me when people treat a relationship between someone in their 30s and someone in their 40s as "age difference". bro i cannot tell you which of my friends are 34 and which are 44. i can probably tell you which ones aren't 30 yet, but it's probable some of them are 50 now and i didn't notice. if you're over 30 and don't have kids, it's kinda all one age until you can collect social security.
