What Says the Fool

so like. autistic people are used to being told ‘why don’t you know that? everyone knows that!’ about stuff they didn’t know until right then... and also being told, ‘how should i have known that? how do YOU know that? why did you even learn it?’ about stuff they’ve known for years. 

first of all, neurotypical people are not just inherently more organized and better at their jobs, so jot that down. 

ask for action items in writing. don’t trust yourself to remember everything people ask you to do during a meeting or a phone call, especially in a remote work environment. it’s completely reasonable to say “great, can you just put that in writing and email it to me?” if they don’t do this, follow up to ask. 

likewise: assign work the way you’d want to receive it yourself. be detailed about what you need, what processes to follow (if applicable), and when it’s due. i’ve found that literally everyone benefits from really clear and precise written instructions, and it also makes me feel like less of an asshole while giving people more work to do.

many of the guidelines, structures, and workflow processes you follow in order to keep yourself from falling into a pit of procrastination and executive dysfunction are often also good processes for making a team run smoothly and transparently without falling into chaos. also, successfully implementing new workflow processes that prevent dysfunction and chaos comes with the added bonus of making you seem like a much more organized and assertive person than you might feel like you actually are, so that’s a win-win.

LEARN WHAT TO PRIORITIZE AND WHAT TO DELEGATE. it took me a really long time to realize that i am not only allowed to assign work out to other people, but that it’s also frequently a necessary function of doing your job that most bosses take for granted that you already know! i feel like it’s a common thing among adhd people to feel like we have to “look busy” all the time to avoid the appearance of slacking off, and that asking for help will reflect badly on us. but i was in a 1:1 with my director at one point and brought up how my whole week was being eaten up by time-consuming busywork and he went “we have a coordinator, an assistant, and two interns for exactly that reason.” it turns out that being able to task out certain kinds of boring, labor-intensive projects that would typically send me into an avoidant cycle of fucking around and procrastinating doing the thing i dreaded made a HUGE difference in my executive function - i became MUCH more productive and energized and felt far less drained at the end of the day. nobody ever told me this, but i wish they had, so here you go.

i also have a theory that going through life and dealing with school and work when you have an attention disorder will give you this false impression that it’s normal to feel like you’re drowning in work, and that becomes a self-perpetuating cycle where you keep taking on more than you actually should because you’re so used to panicking and feeling overwhelmed that it never occurs to you that you don’t actually… have to feel that way? there’s this ingrained sense that you will just always feel like you’re struggling to keep up because your brain sucks, which means you end up mired in guilt and shame because you feel like everyone else is just effortlessly better at their jobs than you are, which reinforces the misperception that you can’t and shouldn’t ask for help because it’ll make you look incompetent. and THAT, in turn, impedes our career opportunities because you can’t develop skills like time management and good judgment and priorities that are so necessary if you want to advance. if you find yourself feeling perpetually overwhelmed by how much you have to do at work, there’s a real possibility that some of it can (and should!) be offloaded. 

responding to an email “just wanted to confirm i got this, i don’t have an answer for you right now but i’ll circle back when i do” as soon as you get it and then flagging it for followup after the appropriate amount of time it will take to get that answer goes a LONG way toward making you appear responsive and productive to others, as well as preventing “oh shit i told myself ‘i’ll look into it and respond once i have an answer’ and now it’s five days later and i forgot to reply at all” moments. and no, admitting you don’t have an immediate answer to every question does not make you look like you’re incompetent or disorganized or bad at your job, despite what your shame-driven mashed potato brain guilt wants you to believe.

and if it’s helpful for anyone with a similar brain, here are the workflow secrets that i’ve developed to keep my shit together. idk if they’ll work for you, but there are 1 million stupid “productivity hacks” out there and it still took me years to independently develop a system that works for me, so if they help you too, awesome!

if it takes less than 5 minutes, do it now.

if it takes more than 5 minutes but less than an hour, put it on the “to do today” list. i physically write out this list every day on an old-school yellow legal pad, adding items as i go along along with - and this is CRUCIAL - a rough estimate of how long i think it will take me. you don’t have to do them in the order you write them down; alternate shorter tasks with more time-consuming ones and take short breaks in between. just try not to leave anything outstanding at the end of the day; if you do, you’re just making more work for yourself tomorrow. there is something that is just inherently very satisfying about physically crossing things off your list with pen and paper, and no calendar app has ever come close to approximating that feeling. 

if it takes more than an hour and it’s not pressingly urgent, put it on the “to do this week” list. try to block off at least an hour (i aim for1-3) during the time of day when you are at your most productive - for me, that’s between 2 and 5pm, but for a lot of people it’s during the morning - and make that your designated head-down, deep work time. 

i take an “eating your vegetables” approach to every list i make: if there’s something i have to do but will not enjoy, i will start with an easy, light-lift task, then do the unpleasant one, and then save the stuff i find easiest or most enjoyable for last.

i have inattentive-style adhd and find that “out of sight, out of mind” is often the biggest hurdle for me, so here’s the solution i developed that literally changed my life. for project managers, agency creatives, account people, or anyone juggling multiple projects with individual overlapping timelines: get a physical calendar for your wall that allows you to view multiple months at a time (this is the one i use. a 4-month calendar layout is perfect for the kind of timelines i’m used to dealing with in publishing, but your mileage may vary so pick whatever month view and layout works for you). hang it where you can always see it from where you normally sit, and use color-coded post-its and flags to map out the milestones and due dates for each individual project you’re working on so that you can ALWAYS tell where you are and what’s coming up at a glance. most adhd brains are notoriously not good at medium-term planning because time doesn’t feel real, and knowing where each deadline/due date sits and where all of your projects should be in relation to each other will really help minimize your risk of dropping the ball on any one of them.

last tip, which is small but feels huge for me: get into the habit of writing down all the stray thoughts and questions and random ideas that come up throughout the day in one place, and take a few minutes to go through them at the end of each day. some will have resolved themselves already, but if there’s any non-urgent action that needs to be taken from any of them, just make a little note of it, and then make that the first thing you handle the following morning. it’s so crazy how such a small thing helps reset my brain and remember whatever i was thinking about yesterday, but it really does, and i also don’t find myself going “i know there was something i needed to take care of but i can’t remember WHAT” anywhere near as often. again: maybe it’ll work for you, maybe it won’t, but this has been a game-changer for my shitty short-term memory.

Crowley: yeah, yep, go ahead

Aziraphale: took a while to get through to you

Crowley: mm I bet. Things are going well here

Aziraphale: I'm glad to hear it. I'm expecting you back in a few days, am I not?

Crowley: might have to put a pin in that for now

Aziraphale: oh? Why's that?

Crowley: well, things are going well

Aziraphale: what's that mean?

Crowley:

SO NICE

And so cute and wholesome

 "The most improper job of any man … is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.“

I don’t think it was even 6 months later that he contracted trench fever and was sent home. 

His entire command was wiped out in one charge shortly after, the majority of a whole countryside’s youths slaughtered while he survived. Youths who were brave and steadfast, but thought of as lesser than their superior officers while still being the ones carrying the actual battle. Youths who deserved fellowship, respect, and above all to go home and dance with their own Rosie.

But there is a soldier in Lord of the Rings who does not come back, and I don’t mean Boromir.

I mean the being who was a common hobbit, but who became corrupted by darkness and poison, who’s face is described in ways reminiscent of a gas mask.

The soldier who doesn’t come home, who is poisoned by gas and stress and insanity.

Aragorn’s entire arc isn’t to be the steadfast hero saving the day, it’s to hold the line in terror and horror and blood while the overlooked folk are the people who save the world. And then, what makes him a king, is not his skill in battle, but his healing hands.

Which then ties into both Eowyn and Faramir’s arcs. Eowyn goes into healing not because she’s a weak and meek woman, but because war is horrible and saving lives is better than taking them. Aragorn is glorified within the text for his healing, and so is Eowyn.

Also, tying into the common man thing, in the movies it’s Faramir but in the books it’s SAMWISE who questions what brings a man so far from home to fight in a war and if he is really so different.

LOTR is anti-war propaganda.