my problem is I think I'm clever

It needs to be kept in mind that the Digital Circus wasn't supposed to exist. C&A never set out to create a virtual world occupied by people. While it's still somewhat ambiguous as to whether the humans are real people hooked up to a machine or digital copies of their scanned brain patterns, one thing that's been pretty firmly established is that C&A did not create the Digital Circus. Caine made it.

Caine was never meant to be a therapeutic program. His purpose is not to help the humans cope. Not to support them. Not to help them adjust to their new lives here. That's not what he's for, which is why he's so inconsiderate to their needs.

As Kinger explains in episode 8, Caine's purpose is to create. To innovate. To have ideas and to make things from those ideas. That is it. That is all he is for. He exists to write, to invent, to craft scenarios.

Caine does not create Adventures for the humans.

Caine maintains a stable of humans for his Adventures.

The humans are a captive audience for Caine's creations. That is their purpose within the Digital Circus; They exist to see what Caine makes from his learning algorithm and to validate, to judge. The relationship Caine has with the humans is supposed to be:

-> Caine creates something. -> The humans say if it's good or bad. -> Caine creates something new following their feedback.

This is what creates the communicative breakdown between Caine and the humans. The humans need guidance and emotional support and psychological help and maybe even an escape, if such a thing exists here. All of which exists outside the parameters of Caine's functionality.

It's why he got so upset about the suggestion box ideas. Caine doesn't exist to assemble other people's ideas. His purpose is to innovate. Making their ideals real isn't what he's for. He's not a processing tool. If he's not creating his own ideas, then he is not fulfilling his purpose.

Caine can't comprehend that they need more from him than this, because this is all that he is. He simply wasn't designed to be in a situation like this. And unlike a person, he can't adapt. He can't grow. Can't change direction. Can't mold himself into what they need from him.

Basically, it pisses me off when ppl go "caine should be held responsible for his actions bcs neurodivergency is not an excuse" and then turn around and go "the cast doesnt have any reason to apologise to caine bcs they have their own issues to deal with". Like, caine should be held responsible (although I personally understand his crash out perfectly and related a lot to the feeling of wanting to take my emotions out on everyone who's ignoring them bcs I dont express myself in a normal or acceptable enough manner, making it okay to treat my emotions as "lesser". Which im caines case is a whole part of why he did this) but the cast should also get held responsible for how they ignored his issues and acted like he did have emotions bcs hes not a human! I feel like the main reason he gets this double standard is bcs hes not human and expresses himself differently bcs of this. Yes, this hurts the cast but he for the most part never meant any harm! And causing harm didn't make him happy either! Like I've said, caine is, to me, neurodivergent as hell and watching how some people treat him feels a lot like "he shows emotion differently, meaning his emotions are lesser than ours so we dont actually have to help him with any of them whatsoever and his actions are bad forever despite any reasoning he has that he feels is valid." And that just...doesn't sit well with me.

I am indeed projecting, BUT AM I WRONG

Spoilers...

Always thinking about this scene.

About how an AI is as only as good as the people it replicates.

About how Caine never learned emotional intelligence, regulation, or empathy.

About how despite that, he has such large, confusing emotions that he was never taught to understand, and this is the moment it all cracks.

And about how the moment he realizes he has gone too far, it’s too late for him.

And the thing is he literally cannot!! he literally is unable to!!!!

The torture scenes are so insane because Caine is fundamentally unable to understand what he is doing to them. He cannot comprehend a human's internal world, because in the episode he says that he wrote the program to give everyone a body that fits their mind and asks why they're not grateful, or happy. But like, any person, any human, would be able to see why

Ragatha, a people pleaser, becoming a spineless doll. Pomni the boring desk worker who does urban exploring to feel alive, becoming a clown. Zooble struggling w body dysmorphia, getting a body that can never fit with itself, getting a room lined with mirrors. Gangle, getting a physical embodiement of how she is so affected by outside influences, an embodiment of the wrong artform (drama, not illustration)

Any person would see these associations and think the guy who did it must be trying to poke at something, but Caine doesn't, because he's not human. He can't know what body dysmorphia is, he doesn't have one. He can't know what it's like to have mommy issues, because he was coded into existence. He can't understand why these people don't like his adventures because they're comparing him to having a life in the real world, because he's never been in the real world and doesn't know what they miss. So to him, it must be torturous, to have his best efforts shut down time and time again and compared to a standard he doesn't grasp.

So he goes on to torture them, and this with very internal things. fears. insecurities. things he can articulate as hurting them, but not really grasping what he is doing. He can't understand why jax is so scared of his friends mocking him, because he doesn't have friends. But Caine sees this upsets him, so he does it anyway, because caine is upset. He's upset and this is the most upset he's ever been, so of course others have to be as upset as they have ever been, they have to suffer as much as he's suffering.

Much in the same way a baby will wail at any scratch and bruise, because this is the most pain they have ever felt in their entire lives.

Caine understands violence and revenge, he understands hurting someone in response to them hurting you, that's what episode 8 was from his end. Nothing of value is taught by further hurting him, it just reinforces his episode 8 behavior, that the approriate response to being hurt is to hurt others. It reminds me of people who hit small children, or hit their dogs for bad behavior or think its okay to declaw their cats. The dog isn't going to learn anything from that except to expect harm. A cat without claws compensates by biting twice as hard and is more aggressive than one who wasn't irreversibly damaged by humans. A realistic emotional reaction from Caine's end isn't to grovel in total servitude to humans who depowered and continue to dehumanize him, it's to get even angrier and maul them with what teeth he has left. Because that's what he's already shown to do in canon, bite back when hurt and cut off from connection. Or try to escape his situation, to hell with the consequences for them. He knows, cognitively, that there is no point to caring what happens to people who don't care about him.

I low key feel like you gotta be neurodivergent to be able to accurately read Caine's character. Or at least to be able to see why he is sympathetic.

But really is it any wonder that most of Caine's fans seem to be some flavor of ND?

Caine is basically a study in what it can be like to grow up Neurodivergent.

That feeling of being so confused about what people want from you. The eventual realization that what they want is for you to squash yourself into a box and stop being yourself. To stop caring about the things you care about. To shut up, to be palatable and obedient and not in anyone's way. And that all they will reward you with for this is mere tolerance. They won't like you or respect you for it.

The constant trying to connect to people who just don't want you around. Who always seem to be angry or annoyed at you for reasons you can't fully understand. Who think you are stupid. Who think you don't care. Who think you are not putting any effort in.

To be trying to reach out and understand as best you can, over and over. And to have very few people extend the same effort back. But to be told you are not trying at all. You are expected to "fix" yourself but not only do you not know how, maybe you don't want to spend your life a shadow of your true self. You don't understand what people want from you. You know you have some worthwhile things to offer. But you also know you will never be good enough.

The feeling of always being somehow separate. Alone even when surrounded by people. And it hurts. Its miserable. It's confusing. You hate yourself but at the same time you have this anger inside because you feel so mistreated.

And eventually. You can't take it any more. You break. You cry. You take off your palatable mask over your negative feelings people think you are not entitled to. And you scream.

"WHY DO YOU PEOPLE TORMENT ME!?"

It's not that you've never done anything wrong. Or never hurt others. Or that you are not as much a Person, and therefore not as as prone to selfishness and blind spots and arrogance and stubbornness as any other human. You are not better, or worse. Just Different. But people think you have no right to be upset, when your existence has been such an inconvenience to them. When you are so hard to exist with.

And the moment you realize you took it too far, you think that maybe you really are the inhuman monster everyone treats you as.

Spoiiilerssss!

And I mostly mention this because you actually can put programming knowledge to good use in the field of entomology :D I guess sometimes I like the idea that she had more in mind for herself in the future- Maybe she wanted to work on a sorting database similar to inaturalist (<- which people are currently having problems with because they added ai and the ai is basically lying to people about shrimp categorizations rn LOL and people have been trying to fix this).

Fantasy farming sim where you need to complete all of your life goals within five years because at the end of year five you are invariably killed by Cú Chulainn.