my problem is I think I'm clever

Starting with the pilot, Pomni reacted about as well as you or I. And by that I mean she went through what could undoubtedly be the worst day of her life, going so insane that it nearly broke her. She accidentally got herself stuck in what looked like a VR game for kids, with a bright and colorful world that looks like it based its design on an ISpy book from Hell. The very idea of being trapped in a world like this would cause anyone to snap, and she didn’t even meet the ringmaster yet. Imagine if the first thing you saw in this new world was this sentient pair of dentures and googly eyes giving you a rapid tour of your environment, throwing all these different things at you with no room to breathe. If I was Pomni, I would also throw up, have a panic attack, and tell myself that it’s all a bad dream.

And then she met an abstraction, the consequence of living in this world and what could happen to her if she’s not careful. Seeing this monstrous beast that tears apart and howls at everything it sees was too much for. The idea of dealing with it and potentially being it one day made Pomni, more than ever, wanting out. So when she saw an exit, she took it, not caring where it led and only feeling guilty that she had to leave Ragatha behind when the abstraction fucked up her code. It’s selfish, but she also pays for it when the exit literally leads nowhere, diving Pomni more and more insane in the process and proving something Ragatha said true. By trying so hard to achieve an unachievable goal, Pomni did nothing but make herself more insane, literally staring into the void as nothing stared back at her.

It’s honestly a miracle that Pomni didn’t abstract that day. She was hurled into the deep end of being introduced to the Circus, being told she’s trapped there forever, has to go on wacky adventures, and that she’ll become a mindless monster if she’s there for too long. It is, in many ways, a fate worse than death and Pomni is given almost no moment of peace to process it. The closest she gets is this brief moment of looking at her new form in the mirror, and is unsure of how she feels about it. She’s not upset or happy by her appearance, she just…acknowledges that this is what she looks like now.

(Remember that, we’ll come back to it later)

Pomni got the worst first impression of the circus, and it only gets worse from there.

By Episode Two, we learn more about Pomni as she learns more about the routine of the place. Much like a new hire at a job, Pomni asks a lot of questions because she’s trying to learn the ropes that everyone else has mastered by now. Everything confuses her and she doesn’t really know what to do other than switch her brain onto autopilot and go through the motions. She’s also really burnt out from yesterday, not being in the mood for any of this. Especially Ragatha’s unintentional infantilizing towards Pomni. Ragatha’s just trying to cheer Pomni up, but instead treats her like a child instead of as an adult who would rather do anything else right now and is just trying to get through this as simply as possible. Still, at least Ragatha helped better than Jax, who threw Pomni off a truck so he could get his laughs out on the new girl’s misfortune. What a guy…

Things weren’t looking great for her, and that’s when she meets Gunmigoo.

After having the second worst day of her life, Pomni’s time becomes even more stressful when she comes across an NPC that is having an existential meltdown. He found out he wasn’t a real person, realizes his existence means nothing, and the people who truly matter in this world will forget him in a day once he’s gone. Pomni can empathize because she is currently going through something similar. The episode begins with her having a nightmare about her life in the circus being meaningless and, if she abstracts, she’ll be forgotten by everyone else. Seeing someone go through their own issues of feeling like they’re nothing makes Pomni want to sit down and help him out. 

To me, it proves how Pomni is a realistic good person. She’s no Luz Noceda or Steven Universe, Pomni isn’t some beacon of good will and optimism that would go above and beyond to make people’s lives better. She is a mess, who talks back or berates anyone that irritates her or pushes her buttons far enough. But when Pomni sees someone like Gummigoo, someone clearly going through something rough and needing a helping hand, she offers it. She’s awkward about the whole thing and clearly doesn’t fully know how to help, but what matters is that she tries. Even if it’s for someone like Gummigoo, who isn’t even real, Pomni still does her part because he feels so human to her. Plus, she meant it when she said she could use a friend, feeling like she’s all alone in this Circus, surrounded by strangers. So by getting to know Gummigoo and feeling like he needs new purpose, Pomni does what she can to make sure they both get a happy ending.

And then Caine fucking killed Gummigoo.

And like Pomni, I laugh because crying hurts more.

Honestly, as fucked up as it is to say, this really is for the best. The Amazing Digital Circus is about making human connections to stay sane. Gummigoo may have felt human, but he wasn’t. He was essentially an AI-Chatbot that had some level of sentience. He would have been a decent way to cope with the situation, but it wouldn’t actually be real. For Pomni to remain human, she must get close to other humans and not her NPC boyfriend. Plus it again shows how much of a realistically good of a person Pomni is. Most other characters would find a way to give everyone a happy ending, but realistically that’s not possible. There’s always a twist somewhere, and this one hit hard.

After feeling like she won’t be alone again, Caine snapped his fingers and Pomni lost what she believed to be last person who understood her. Only for, strangely enough, a funeral to show Pomni otherwise. By watching the others share how they felt towards Kaufmo and how much it hurt to know he’s gone now, it allowed Pomni the chance to realize she’s not alone. There are people going through it as much as she is. And if she falls, there’s a good chance they’ll not only catch her, but remember her. It’s exactly what she needed to hear the most after everything she’s experienced in the last two days. And it’s enough for her to give these strangers more of a chance, actually engaging better with the adventure when they go on again. It’s unfortunate that this one sent her to actual Hell, but, strangely enough, it’s something that she needed in the long run.

This Hell Adventure is what led Pomni to interact with Kinger more, getting close with someone she never expected to get close to. Day one, she likely wrote him off as too insane to deal with, with the chaos they go on proving her more right than wrong. Not only is it his fault they’re in this mess, but he’s also irritating her with his nonsense at every turn, with Pomni wanting to get out to escape any danger and possibly get away from him sooner. But it’s here she learns that Kinger can not only be sane under certain conditions, there’s also a deeper tragedy to his experience in the Circus. He went through something that’s, in many ways, even worse than what everyone else did and has every reason to give up at this point, but he doesn’t. There’s still people in his life, and he tries to be there for them because a sense of community is what holds them all together. He passes this wisdom onto Pomni, and she takes it to heart well.

Moving forward, Pomni does try harder to not only form connections with others, but make them feel reassured as well. It’s why Pomni admits that she appreciates Ragatha trying to make Pomni feel good in the circus. It’s why Pomni takes Gamgle’s closing shift in the restaurant adventure. It’s why she does everything for Jax. She’s scared of feeling like she’s nothing, and it takes Kinger’s wise words to assure her that she needs to do the same to others as she did for Gummigoo. That for all of them to survive, they all need to pitch in.

Speaking of Gummigoo, Pomni does see him again. And in retrospect, she sees him sooner than you think, because it happens two episodes after he—

And it’s perfect. It gives Pomni closure and a chance to actually say goodbye to him. What they had was brief, but it meant a lot to Pomni. Her words may have been “Thanks for eating at Spudsies,” but they were really, "Thanks for being in my life.” You see it in the broken smile and shaky voice, this wasn’t easy to do, but it’s what she needs to. She needs to move on from her Gummy Guy and make a real friend.

Though, I bet dollars to doughnuts that no one could have expected who she’d choose to be pals. And honestly, I’m not complaining, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Everything beyond Episode Four shows us what makes Pomni tick as she becomes more comfortable with her surroundings. By Episode Five, it’s implied that she had a boring life. I mean, she’s an accountant. What excitement comes from being a frickin’ accountant? So, to spice up her life, she filmed herself walking through abandoned buildings and that’s likely what got her in the Circus in the first place. In fact, the Circus might just be the most interesting thing that’s ever happened to Pomni’s life. No wonder she almost cracked right away, this was far beyond her comfort zone. Granted, it’s beyond everyone else’s, but it’s extra bad for the boring girl–I should probably stop calling Pomni boring.

But Pomni made the best of the worst situation, getting to know almost everyone a little better and having more frequent moments of peace alongside them…So why did she become friends with Jax?

Well, honestly, because Pomni isn’t really a goodie-goodie herself. Her breaking into abandoned buildings shows signs of a rebellious streak and her chuckling at Jax mauling his evil clone reveal that she shares parts of his sick sense of humor. She draws the line at going too far with their friends, but when Pomni allows herself to embrace her more evil gremlin side, it allows her to actually have fun for a change. The gun adventure is the most she’s smiled in any episode, and for good reason. She found someone to gel with, Jax making it a little easy on her as he shows some actual charm for a change. Much like with Kinger, Pomni gets to try to understand Jax better as a person and feel like she finally has someone to connect to that’s real and semi all there in the head.

The problem is…Jax is Jax. And I already discussed how much of a mess he is last time. He refuses human connection, but Pomni isn’t letting him go without. And I mean that literally. She beats the shit out of him so he can put his money where his mouth is. If he really doesn’t care, then he wouldn’t mind hitting her too. Jax sees through this, of course, still pushing her away. Yet Pomni refuses to let him because of course she does. The one lesson she’s come to learn is that you don’t leave anyone behind, not even the asshole who denied that everything you did was the best day he’s had in a long time. And because she just likes him, plain and simple.

People not getting why Pomni still holds out hope for Jax tend to ignore that, again, she smiled the most when around him. By giving Jax a chance and seeing there is a fun side to his personality, Pomni sees someone she can really get along with. And, like it or not, that person was never going to be Ragatha. Pomni may be civil with her and try making Ragatha feel appreciated, but it doesn’t go much farther than that. To put it gently, to Pomni, Ragatha’s a work friend. You’ll talk when there’s nothing better to do, but you try really hard not to say anything that makes them hate you. Because you’re going to be stuck with them for the foreseeable future, and the last thing you want to do is make an enemy. Jax, meanwhile, is a bro. Someone that you can hang out with at anytime, so stupid shit together, and be real without being judged outside of light, mutual teasing. Pomni acts cringe in front of Jax, he laughs at her, but he clearly loves it. Pomni gave a light chuckle at Jax’s schtick once, got a weird look from Ragatha, and immediately clamped up. Pomni can be real with Jax, but has to act more civil around Ragatha to not get on her bad side. I’m sorry, but if she had to pick anyone to spend the day with, Pomni would only pick Ragatha out of obligation when it’s really Jax she’d have more fun with.

Still, Pomni’s comfortable with Ragatha. She’s comfortable with…everything. By Episode Seven, Pomni seems like she’s finally accepted that she’s part of the Circus. Some things still weird her out, but she’s not on the verge of a mental breakdown every five seconds. She has a community to get along with and is finally having fun for a change. At long last, the Circus is finally feeling like a home again.

And yet, the thought of leaving was too much to resist. It always will be, no matter how used someone could get to their jail, they would still jump at the chance of an early release. It makes sense why Pomni—And everyone else, for that matter—would still want to leave despite being comfortable with their surroundings. And it also makes sense for why they follow Pomni to do it.

By Episodes Seven and Eight, Pomni becomes the de facto leader of the group. Because…who else would do it? Ragatha is more of a follower because of how eager she is to please, Jax would just find ways to ruin things for everyone for his own entertainment, Gangle proved she’s not cut out for being in charge, and Kinger’s rarely sane enough to tell anyone what to do. Maybe Zooble would take charge, but it’s really Pomni who seems the most capable because she’s the most reasonable. Zooble would jump to push the button to escape and would be the first to kill Jax for pushing the one that trapped them. Pomni, however, is sensible enough to understand the importance of thinking things through. She questions if pressing the button is a good thing and, when it turns out it didn’t matter anyways, is the first to say they should all accept that they’re trapped in the Circus. Escape isn’t possible, so they should make the best out of a shitty situation. It’s what she learned to do, and what she tries passing off to the others. 

After all this time they spent together, Pomni’s come to care about all of them, even if there are some favorites amongst the group. It’s why she first fought to get them all out and would eventually fight to get Caine off their backs. She wants these people to have a happy ending, and doesn’t want to watch another friend—

Yeah, something about the trauma of seeing a close friend die in front of you kind of makes you not want to experience that again. And yet people are still surprised when she does everything she can to assure the same doesn’t happen to Jax. Or for anyone really. When Caine gets restless, Pomni’s the first to speak up against him so they all have a chance for, at the very least, temporary peace. She’s not skittish of this so-called god anymore. She’s sick of his shit, wants him to go to sleep, and leave them be to accept their jailtime in peace. Things don’t work out from there, but the fact that Pomni tries shows how much she’s grown. It’s even symbolized by her looking in the mirror again–See, told you it’d come back.

Where Pomni first looked at the mirror with acknowledgement, she now looked at it with acceptance. This is her now, this is who she is and who she’ll be for…ever. She doesn’t like it nor hate, she just accepts it. And if that isn’t good character development, I don’t know what is.

Pomni, right alongside Kinger and Zooble, is tied for one of my favorite characters in the show. It was fun seeing her grow and learning more about her every episode. Some wanted more, and I can’t blame them, but I’m so far satisfied with what we got out of her. Hell, I’m satisfied by what I got out of the series. By the time I post this, I have yet to see the finale yet. But when I do, whether I found the ending good or bad, I’ll still say the show itself was an incredible ride. It gave me one heck of a protagonist who grew and changed just as much as the show itself grew and changed.  Were things perfect? Not always, but it did all that it needed to in giving me a good time. Some might have problems, that’s their deal, but to get to this point at all, it was worth it in the end.