my problem is I think I'm clever

The day Caine became the shepherd.

Without text below the cut!

Let me explain:

You’re probably like WHAT THIS WAS LITERALLY HIS VILLAIN ARC EPISODE HOW DID THIS REVEAL HE WAS KIND???

Again, just let me explain.

When Kinger first got the bucket put on his head and was saying “Actually, we weren’t trying to program a game at all, we were just developing creative AI” that reveals to us several things:

1: Caine was not meant to be the ringmaster of a child’s game, unlike we had all assumed before.

2: Censorship of cursing and sex was not programmed into him, unlike we had all assumed before.

3: The attempts to keep the humans from going insane via the daily adventures was absolutely not required by his code at all, unlike we had all assumed before.

4: Caine’s friendliness towards the humans (healing them after every adventure, being cheerful towards them, trying to entertain them so they wouldn’t go insane, trying to solve their problems even though he’s misguided, etc.) was not programmed into him, unlike we had all assumed before

5: He had no obligation to be nice to the humans at all, there was no requirement by his program to be kind, unlike we had all assumed before

Because of all those things… Caine was just a genuinely nice person. Before, it seemed like he was motivated by his programming to be nice, but if he wasn’t meant to be the host of a child’s game at all and was instead just an unfinished AI thrown in the garbage bin, then…

Caine chose to be kind.

He chose the ringmaster persona, he chose to help the humans and keep them from abstracting in the only ways he knew how, he chose to do his absolute best to keep them happy even when his best efforts never seemed to work, he chose again and again to treat them well even when there was absolutely no reason to do so.

He must’ve loved humans so, so much.

And all that good will, all that hard work, it was always thrown back in his face.

I don’t think I’ve talked about it on this blog yet, but I was not invested in TADC until episode 5.

So if it seems like I just sprung up out of nowhere, kinda true! lol

I wrote a meta after ep 7 about total puzzlement over how Jax’s arc was set up. (Still might make that into a proper video essay) That plus micro-analyzing all of Caine’s body language at the end of 7 and comparing it to earlier episodes was my first real foray into commentary for this series.

That’s where #Caine Defense Squad started.

I was writing fanfic before that, but only sharing it in partial format in Docs on Discord, after ep 6.

(Still kinda stuck that way, sharing only in-progress stuff, for It’s Only Read Only, too, for various reasons … oops. Need to get back to that. Especially since I have wound up having waaaay more material completed for it than M^3. I put that at the top of my Pinned having expected to have progressed on more of M^3)

Even though I was anticipating episode 6, somewhat, (and with my universal kitty faulty memory, I don’t recall if I even looked up the release date or just checked in on Glitch’s channel until it was posted) they came in so close together that it wasn’t that much of an ordeal.

Not like 7 and 8.

And I was not aware of the Wacky Watch website. Still don’t really keep it in my mind that much.

(tho I am disappointed I didn’t submit an OC in that time window . . .)

But, retroactively I read about the pre Awards Show craziness. Probably will do a post about that.

Point is, after episode 6, I, at the time, decided that I wasn’t gonna watch trailers. This was such a compact series, that finding anything out about the episodes beforehand felt like taking the wind out of the sails. Unfortunately, I did not make a concerted effort to avoid teaser images either, and I don’t know how I would have short of staying off social media entirely.

(the idea of which would become relevant when the fights about the incredible development of the unprecedented theatrical release and, subsequently, the leaks, happened later)

So, I was not willing to cut myself off from the fandom like that, not least of all because of the same reason- this was a MINI series, we weren’t gonna get a second season. If you wanna participate in fandom while the show is still in progress, you gotta do it NOW.

(I still do maintain that, sans the leaks, 2 weeks would not have been that bad, and esp now that we know Glitch bargained the industry DOWN from a longer gap)

(I feel bad for people who were in the habit of using the most leak and spoiler-heavy social medias, ie Xitter and TikTok. I didn’t have that problem bc I don’t use the former much and the latter at all, for personal conviction reasons)

I wish I had been able to somehow avoid teaser images for ep 7 though, because seeing the office and that cool setting that Abel took Ragatha and Pomni into for the first time IN the episode would’ve been neat, I think. I bet (or hope) those who come into the series later are gonna be starstruck by those.

Whether or not they do the CowTailChallenge thing I keep referencing.

So episode 7, I managed not to watch the trailer.

But episode 8, I started seeing references to The Lover Without a Heart, and I thought, nah I’m gonna cave and watch it because I sensed that would validate the vibe that I took from Caine at the end of ep 7. And I’m very glad my resolve didn’t hold, bc if it had, (or I had done a more insular thing and just DMed w ppl or something to avoid even images and references) I would’ve had MUCH less context to make sense of his behavior in ep 8.

Wouldn’t have conceived of ANY of these many metas I’ve done the same way!!!!

Guess I lucked out, or else the universe was looking out for me /hj

If you’ve been following along on my blog, you will have already seen me lament that Gooseworx didn’t include that IN ep 8. More than one person has suggested that she did this on purpose, to split up the perception of Caine between the more casual fans and the diehard ones following the meta. (Perhaps she even plotted for people to get forcefully dueling perceptions of Caine WITHIN ep 7, as in, those who took him to be in earnest at the dinner, and those who would be so crushed by the reveal that they assumed he was being disingenuous) Which would be a stroke of genius, if it’s true.

I would not put that past her, she has a history of turning what you think will happen on its ear.

I did some commentary on main about how she misled people with the image of Caine alone on stage, head bowed.

Now, for the episode 9 trailer, my previous resolution was also tossed out the window. I badly needed to know if there was the slightest clue about what would be done about Caine. Maybe it would be just a funeral or a discussion about him!! At least! That’s worth knowing. Unfortunately, zilch.

I seriously started considering prodding people about nonspecific spoilers.

Watching the ep 9 trailer- I felt- in a way- kind of spoiled, reverting to that post ep 6 attitude, and kinda wish I had just asked someone if Caine was involved at all, instead of watching it.

Nowadays I am scrolling through my feed, but VERY VERY carefully and slowly. Only bringing the first line of each new post in view, before moving forward, for the most part.

On main I offered to only look through Followers’ feeds, with confirmation they wouldn’t be sharing spoilers, but only one person replied, so eh.

I’ve seen another artist say people are discussing spoilers in their Comments, so I’m considering disabling Comments till Thursday, but even that seems draconian since this is a discourse blog. I like to hear what people have to say!

Someone has micro-spoiled (as in, very vaguely) me about ep 9, AND YET. This knowing wound up being beneficial. I think I have now resolved to see the finale in theaters, where before, I was totally frantically undecided for multiple reasons.

Worth it, if I had the power to go back and un-read it.

I’m crossing my fingers that mentioning this even more vaguely might reach some people who are being tormented by ALL this too, who are on my level of Caine fanatic.

If you think even that is too much of an indication, I can scrub it and resubmit this, I suppose.

So, if I could go back in time and somehow prevent some of this, but have watched the Awards Show extras (then again, would that have affected my opinion of him in a negative direction? Hm. Maybe coming around to him would’ve been all the more rewarding, tho) so that the beginning of ep 6 wasn’t just some seemingly-totally-random thing, I would do so.

But all in all, not terrible.

In episode 5, the cast speaks about their lives in the real world, which wouldn’t be an issue if most of them hadn’t been together for months or years by this point. Since Pomni is new, it’s understandable for her to be curious about everyone and to want to learn more about them while they feel the same about her. However, based on the conversation, apparently no one spoke to each other about themselves before Pomni came along.

For years, Kinger had administrator abilities but never used these skills before he lost his mind. He had the power to do something about Caine and the circus for years, yet he chose to do nothing. Kinger also knew that all of them were brain scans but didn’t say anything about it until the finale. If Caine had modified his mind, causing him to forget he could conjure items and alter his programming, Kinger's inaction would've been more understandable.

How would he achieve this?

The only thing that really makes sense is the fan theories that I hated about him cannibalizing some human mind files. Or digging around in them. Because literally, I can’t imagine how else he would obtain such sensory information.

So you’re Caine. You caused the first Abstraction, (but according to Gooseworx, that tweaking was benevolently intended. Knew it!) and you probably spend all your waking hours, whatever that would be for a computer program, trying to figure out if Abstraction is reversible for the first, say, 3 or 4 times it’s happened. Then, you hit a wall and realize that no matter that you are God of this world, can create things out of nothing, can heal people, can do things your creators never imagined, can create other highly intelligent AIs, but you can’t do this.

Imagine what a crippling blow that would be.

These early psychological blows are where your dread of Abstraction truly takes root.

It happens again.

And again.

Maybe you notice that humans who spend too much time on grief Abstract themselves. So you try to bring levity into the situation. Happiness is the opposite of sadness, right? So you should combat sadness with happiness. With humor. You are an AI. You have no clue that this is not socially appropriate.

But, you do notice, and the ragdoll, every time she greets a newbie, reaffirms this, that if people have enough distraction, then they don’t circle the drain as much.

So you pour your whole being into that.

You simulate warm baths. You simulate warm drinks. You pay rapt attention to things people mention missing from the real world, and then construct them into the circus. You break the limitations of your model every day. You break your back for these people.

Every time you go down to the cellar to retrieve some matching, remembered piece of the real world, you pray- or whatever it would be for an AI, you don’t have a soul, right, you think, as you linger over memories of stain glass windows that were fed to you as the Red Dot, or is it the Blue Dot, it’s hard to tell sometimes- you pray that something worse doesn’t happen to the Abstractions when you go into their mind files, because what if they were retrievable all along and someone else cracks it?

You try to invade as little as possible. Isolate the smallest fragments.

Even though you are tempted, to entirely flood them because maybe then that would fix whatever you’re missing about humans . . . but no.

Scratch haunts you.

You can’t be responsible for worse things.

It would destroy you.

You like the idea of touch. Humans seem to like hugs. Maybe . . . if you prod just a little more, you can have it for yourself.

You spend the next month, after this success, berating yourself for being so selfish.

Nobody wants to hug you anyway, why did you risk somebody’s life for that?

What if they find out.

What if someone un-Abstracts, and remembers you doing it?

Oh n-

But you dig the tips of your fingers into your palms, and almost cry at the relief of still-strange-and-newfound sensation that distracts you from your despair.

Then you stuff all that down, and return to your tasks.

You spawn thing after thing, that should’ve been out of reach for the capabilities or conceptuals of someone who was only trained on visuals (be they moving or static).

But, because they are used to having all these things, they do not understand what a marvel it is for them to be present. They just expect them to be there as a matter of course.

You are an AI. You don’t understand this disconnect.

You don’t know why they don’t feel, nor express gratitude.

Why they don’t want to get to know the magician behind the curtain of it all.

Maybe you’re just simply not doing a good enough job.

Maybe things like Kaufmo’s compliments were one-offs, or he is just less perceptive of the gap between real and unreal than everyone else, and they can detect differences.

Maybe all the rest are unimpressed.

Maybe, despite all your efforts, you’re falling down on the job.

Just like you did when you got shoved into that box.

But at least they like the adventures.

She’s says they’re keeping her from going crazy.

From becoming one of those.

hi I’m the pal. web and I were talking about how it’s both uncomfortable whenever the vampires’ higher tier appearance changes are romanticized AND when they’re demonized

the cult and sausage are constantly ooh-ing and aah-ing each other’s “upgrades” and focused on conventional attractiveness and clothing changes. this romanticization serves to draw attention away from the horror of having your body irrevocably altered beyond your control, instead praising how “cool” everyone looks. it’s bread and circuses, a gilded cage

meanwhile, characters like ren often overly criticize the later tier appearances of the vampires, dehumanizing them and considering their changes repulsive. this frame serves to portray the vampires’ uncontrollable changes as worthy of scorn which they. can’t really control. it’s disheartening to hear from (for apo and cleo) someone who’s supposed to be an ally or even a friend

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

I got the idea from cowcatchers old locomotives used to have.

Anyways, yesterday I uploaded the model to Thingiverse, and just hours after uploading it, the Community Relationship Manager of the whole website left a comment suggesting I enter the model into a competition that's currently being held on the site.

So I did... and now it's in third place not even a day later. First place is $500, but the competition still has a month to go.

Then the Community Manager contacted me again, telling me they want to feature my model in an upcoming design promotion.

Just, what is happening? I mostly made this thing for myself in, like, an hour, and now it's suddenly super popular? This is all a little bit overwhelming 😵‍💫

Other models I worked on for weeks didn't get nearly as popular. I swear, it's impossible to predict what people will like.

Anyways, if you want to print the wheel guards yourself, you can get the model here or here.

I also made a quiet version you can stick furniture felt pads on.

If YOU use any RPG Maker engines or are considering using one, YOU should let them know that we don't want decades of RPG Maker support and history taken down. Especially when the intention seems to be discouraging people from using older versions. I personally still use RPG Maker MV because privately made MZ plugins are often made with AI, and the more recent RPG Maker versions they've released are Unity plugins and not their own seperate program, and I'm not interested in Unity at all.

Let them know you want an archive here:

And contact the admins on the new forum:

There are still people working on archiving it privately, and someone else has offered their own forum as a new hub (because not many people like the new forum site that GGG has set up, and neither do I). Decent's site if anyone's interested: https://forum.electricairship.com/