Ska' vi dø eller hva'?

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

i also want to read this guy’s dead wife

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

Reblog you stay silly

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time

"Going a couple hours without eating a single kind of food? No thanks, I would rather kill a child" is such a wildly horrifying take to see MULTIPLE people proudly stating.

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

irs.

hawaiian shirt + dark bags under eyes is a good look… it says yeah i would really love to be carefree and relaxed right now but certain circumstances have made that impossible

I open Daemons of the Shadow Realm. I learn that the male protagonist is shorter than his sister because of lacking nutrients. I check off "milk propaganda" on my checklist.

hey sorry for being so snappish earlier i was in a bad mood. and im still in a bad mood so can you fuck off

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

Ok, fuck, I’ll try falling in love with myself first. Ughhhhhhh