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Guys. This man decided to be spontaneous once when he was a kid and his parents were murdered in front of him.

like in his free time at night instead of sleeping, he sits (very mysteriously) with some really expensive whiskey, looks at the night sky, and something like "my way of life" or "love me tender" playing on the record(!!)

Bruce fell first and he'd been falling for so long, his heart was as scarred as his skin from all the times it had shattered.

It broke the first time he confessed his feelings and was rejected. It broke when Clark married Lois and it broke when they divorced and Clark hadn't been interested in relationships anymore. It broke when people found out about his little crush and lightly teased him about it and it broke when the one time Clark showed interest in him was revealed to have been due to a shard of pink kryptonite lodged in the heel of his boot.

And still he falls but he learned to live with the fact that the end would never be in sight. That he had to learn to navigate the world with a stitched up heart.

Clark fell harder.

Clark fell harder and it felt like he'd been suddenly struck out of the sky and into the depths of the Mariana trench. He's still not up yet. His heart is still reeling from a world of feelings threatening to burst it open. He hadn't been breathing for a while now. Minutes bleeding into eons and compressing into seconds. He hadn't been breathing because between one breath and another Bruce transformed into incandescent moonlight, luminous inside and out and Clark suddenly cannot figure out how to take another breath without him in his arms. Without him cradled into his soul.

Dick: I hate how everyone thinks or just assumes that my favourite superhero is Superman. Like how did that even get out? Why is it like something everyone know about me? It isn't even true!

Tim: As a professional stalker, it's probably because Clark and Bruce think it's Superman.

Dick, serious: Trust me, Clark knows it isn't Superman.

Jason: Then why does he keep giving you his merch?

Dick: It's different, okay? He always gives me the first piece of his new merch. It was originally because I was possibly the only child he knew, but now, it's just our thing.

Tim and Jason: *raise an eyebrow*

Jason: But you know what that looks like to others, right? Superman giving you his merch?

Dick, opens mouth, closes it, opens it again: I never considered that. But still, you'd think people would ask, right? I mean, between the three of us, we have the same favourite.

Jason, immediately: My favourite is Wonder Women.

Tim, not having it: Your favourite member of the Justice League is Wonder Women, not your favourite superhero.

Jason: *huffs but doesn't disagree*

Dick: And you know what? Even when I was younger, Supes was never my favourite—

Bruce: *walks within hearing range but not visual range*

Dick cont.: I liked that he smiled and laughed, you know?

Jason and Tim, with their backs to Bruce: *look absolutely baffled*

Bruce: *freezes*

Dick cont.: Superman could just... save a kitten... or you know... stop a crash and then go fight Lex Luther and then crack a joke with a kid. He could do anything and that appealed to me. I liked that.

Bruce, heartbroken at the implication that Dick liked Superman more because Clark smiled and laughed whilst in costume while he was bound by the constraints of the persona he created for himself: *walks away, out of hearing range*

Dick: But really, my favourite superhero was never costumed. It was Bruce... Well, it is Bruce, not was.

Tim, grinning like a gremlin: Was huh?

Dick: NOPE! Not was, is and forever has been and will be. Just like Batman is my favourite costumed hero.

Jason: I still say Wonder Women is bet—

Dick and Tim: *give him the look*

Jason: Alright, fine. But Bruce is my dad, okay? I'm biased. Of course, he's my favourite. He saved me! If I wasn't biased, it would be...

Tim and Dick: *Stare harder*

Diana rests a hand on Clark's shoulder, shaking her head. "I am sorry, friend." His shoulders sag, and Dick feels worry flutter in his stomach as he steps properly into the room.

"Supes? You alright?"

The blue fingers of his glove itch to reach out, but he needs a better read on the situation first.

"Bruce is avoiding me."

Okay.... "And you're not mad? Usually you two get into a second fight about it."

Diana nods. "Indeed. The issue is, Nightwing, they never had a first fight."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

"Which is why..."

"Yup."

"You're worried."

"You know it's bad when he gets like this." Clark rubs his face. "Have you guys noticed anything?"

Dick thinks back. "No, I was at the manor with Tim and Jason yesterday, but we didn't see Bruce."

A week later, Dick climbs through Clark's window, smiling apologetically when Lois startles. "Hey guys, sorry to bust in."

"'Marry a superhero,' they said," she mutters, giving him a kind smile as she takes her plate and moves from the dining table to the kitchen island.

Clark's gaze rakes over him, and Dick slips into Lois' vacated seat.

"Dick?"

"It's Bruce." Clark's fork freezes on the way to spearing a piece of pasta, and it's Superman whose eyes snap to his. "I've noticed something."

"Everything alright?" Lois calls when Clark sags in his seat, like he did last week on the Watchtower.

"'S not hero business, Lo, c'mon back."

The three of them catch up through dinner, after Dick is served up the serving Clark was going to have for lunch tomorrow. (Lois had offered hers, but the garbled noise of affront from her husband set the two of them into a fit of giggles as Clark made perfectly clear he was not going to let that happen.)

It's afterwards, as Dick curls up in their armchair and the couple settles into the accompanying couch, that they return to the broody elephant in the room.

"He won't look at me. Not when I'm looking back. But he's just been staring at me, all sad-like, whenever I'm not looking at him. And it's even worse on patrol! The first thing I noticed was he smiled at me, in the cowl, which wasn't that unusual, but there wasn't anything smile-y around. Then I was joking with Tim, and he laughed, which he never does in the field, you know what he's like."

"Mm," Clark hums.

"So, you know, I checked him for contamination, and that's when the staring started. He looked so down in the dumps during the checks, and it hasn't stopped since."

Clark nods, tracing the lines of Ma Kent's throw as he thinks. "He's like that with me, too. That's how Diana and I caught on, anyhow. Every smile, or time I was the one to guide a child away, he'd get all down until the mission distracted him again."

"But Bruce loves kids."

Lois takes a sip from her water, humming in the back of her throat. "And you know he's always gearing up that deadpan humour of his, to try and make the Superman crack a smile at the wrong moment."

"Ass," Clark mutters, without venom.

"So, it's both of us."

"What did you do?" Lois asks sternly.

"Nothing."

"Really?"

"Not a thing, babe."

"Really? Nothing at all in the last week? You didn't talk bad, you didn't do anything?"

"No!"

"No."

bonus she either puts on shut up and drive or freebird on the batmobile radio when bruce isn't in the vehicle and she's autopiloting

I’ve only seen this as a Drabble on here, I think, or a very short, most likely crack fic on ao3

But when Bruce removes his mask for the first time, everyone gets the vaguest sense that they know him, but they can’t quite place it

It’s cause Bruce actually has a very blank and expressionless face when it’s relaxed, or maybe even a resting sad face. Also, paired with the fact that he’s still in Batman mode, they don’t get it at first

Then he’s like, “Sorry, lemme just-“

Then he gives a bright, sunshine smile, and his whole demeanor and air around him change so drastically. They’re like-

HOLY SHIT IT'S BRUCE MOTHERFUCKING WAYNE

Childhood friend Oliver: Oh-m-gee, Brucie?! No fucking way little Brucie is fucking Batman

And the league is confused about who the fuck Brucie is till he fixes his face and aura, and they're like, oh, Brucie

Non-childhood friend Ollie: Wait a fucking minute, this guy looks so fucking familiar; it’s on the tip of my tongue. No way, Bruce Wayne, who knocked over an entire ice sculpture by accident last week??

And the League is having the same realization that the billionaire that they see all over the news and the internet, who portrays himself as a little ditzy but still competent, was actually playing every single person on the planet like a fiddle

"Super Dickery" is whenever a DC character you are usually supposed to like does something that is extremely Mean-spirited, Cruel, Stupid, Immoral etc for the sake of Drama or shock value. DC is infamous for these moments and no character is safe from them. anything that would be defined as Super Dickery should never be used as a reason to criticise a character to people who are fans of them because they are typically extremely out of character moments.

Infamous instances of super dickery Include:

Hal Jordan sleeping with a teenager.

Oliver Queen abandoning speedy after speedy got addicted to drugs.

Bruce Wayne Slapping Dick Grayson

Basically anything that happened in the Young Justice Cartoon from 2010

To add onto this, in my opinion anyway, a sizable amount of anti-Bruce posts come around to sounding like they were thoughts ripped directly from Bruce's head when he's shit talking himself. Like, word for word off a panel somewhere lol. I just think the comparison is pretty funny, truly there is no one more anti-Bruce Wayne out there than Bruce Wayne himself. Impressive, I guess.

Please ignore that this sentence could have a vastly different meaning

Bruce is curious by nature and basically a sponge for knowledge. Hal is barely on Earth and basically a treasure trove of intergalactic lore.

I can imagine Hal spending so much time in space that Bruce's billionaire playboy persona does not have the same effect on him. (tapping the famous "Who the hell is Bruce Wayne" quote).

Works especially well if Bruce is not that outgoing with the team, or is on more of a part time status. The rest are actually a bit confused by the difference between him an his Brucie persona. ~

Batman would be analyzing something or another on a tablet in the common room, keeping to himself and in strolls Hal, loud and rambunctious. His eyes fall on Bats and he makes a beeline for him. "Spooky! I bring enrichment!" He proclaims and drops a data disc in front of Bruce before dropping in the seat next to him. "It's a collection of Quadrant Four literature. Most common languages." He grins, ear to ear. "A thank you for that hint on that political snafu."

To everyone's surprise, Bruce picks up the disc and turns it on all sides. "You don't need a translator, do you?" Hal asks and Bruce just hums, putting the disc in one of his pouches. "I wanted to clear one from Oa but the ambassador mentioned a lot of the languages have Dircheian as a basis. That's the one you wanted to practice, no?"

Bruce humms again and nods. "We're up to 40%"

Hal raises his eyebrows and lets out a surprised whistle. "Man, I was hoping to get some rest, not jump into lantern business as soon as I make it home."

"Technically it's Gotham business." Batman tilts his head and Hal clicks his tongue.

"It was Gotham business 39 percents ago!"

"I'm not going to have a glowstick ruin three months of stakeout." "I can be subtle!"

The two exit the watchtower common room while bickering and a week or so after, news comes of and alien weapons smuggling ring being dismantled in Gotham.

~

Another would be Bruce again working on something and Hal just yapping away about some missions, with Bruce just humming every now and again. At one point Hal produces a construct that looks like a tablet with an inscription and Clark recognizes the writing as Kryptonian. What he doesn't expect is for Bruce to look over it and go "Ah, I see what you mean. It would be easy for a therian to interpret that as 'stealing'" and he does a double take because since when does Batman know Kryptonian?

....