I can handle it!!!! (she said, clearly not handling it)

slowly learning each others habits and little quirks over years of slow accumulation of traits, except some of it is unintentional and others of it is fully with purpose

Like, Hal wakes up one morning after crashing hard after his mission and finds a coffee on his nightstand. He takes a few sips, shrugs off the bad taste, and goes on with his day

the next time it happens, the coffee is a little sweeter. Hal drinks a little more of it

over and over again, mission after mission, until its the perfect combination of milk and sugar and coffee, and then its that, every time.

Some things are just learned through time.

Hal learns Bruce has nightmares but usually wakes up silent and just roams the house by himself for a bit before its an acceptable time to wake up because he happened to be coming home right around the time that it happened. So now he has his ring set up a sensor outside Bruce's door that wakes him so they can 'accidentally' both be awake and keep each other company

Bruce notices the way Hal is always fidgeting with his jacket in some way shape or form, but its less about the jacket and more about just having something around his shoulders that can act as a cover, so he always has blankets or his own jacket laying around for when Hal doesn't and can drape it around him if he needs it

Hal's toilet breaks at some point and he has to share Bruce's for a while and they learn each others skin care routine (Hal doesn't have one) and Bedtime routine (Hal has a seven step process to brushing his teeth and flossing)

Hal learns Bruce likes to sleep with the curtains drawn tightly while Hal prefers to have a window cracked slightly

Both of them sleep with one leg out from under the covers and the rest of their bodies snuggled underneath tightly

Hal spots an empty bagel bag in the trash and buys the brand whenever he comes back from a trip

Bruce notices the way Hal's eyes stray on jewelry commercials and the next time he comes home there's a ring holder on his nightstand

Hal spies an old glove in the attic when he asks about cookbooks because he wants to try his hand at some more advanced stuff now that he has the space and money for it, and buys a new one

just. just little things that they pick up on about each other without intentions, or sometimes with intentions just because of the space and time they spend together

Hal puts in effort to notice how Bruce takes his coffee in the morning, and learns his moods to know whether or not he eats breakfast and if he's in the mood for it, what he generally eats so he can make it for him, since he wakes up early

Bruce puts in effort to notice how Hal winds down after a long day and makes sure the bath is always stocked with his favorite scents and soaps and that he has a really soft and fluffy robe to slip on afterwards and that they have Hal's favorite brand of popcorn and his comfort movie playing when he emerges

Hal coming home from a two month long mission with long, matted hair and a scruffy beard and he mutters a hello and an apology to Bruce and brushes past him into his 'guest' room and falls asleep.

when he wakes up the next morning his boots have been removed from his feet and cleaned, sitting next to the door of his room, and there's a cup of coffee and some eggs and bacon on the table next to him

Hal scarfs it down and rolls his eyes about 'rich people and what they make their servants do' before he shuffles into the horribly lavish bathroom to shave

Then he sits in front of the vanity mirror for a while, just staring at his hair. He doesn't even know where to start

Bruce knocks on the door even though its open, poking his head inside

"I could do it for you." He offers, hovering outside the door even though it's his house. "If you don't want to cut it. I could- clean it. For you. If you want."

And hell, sure. Alright. Hal has never paid attention to his hair before, go wild.

Bruce takes him to the bathroom and washes his hair and Hal genuinely falls asleep because its so soothing and calming and its the most caring thing hes been treated to since he was a child and his mom would rub his back when he was throwing up

Bruce washes and dries and brushes his hair for him and when hes done he presses a soft kiss to Hal's forehead, braiding the front strands of his hair to the back so it doesn't interfere with his fighting

'its just a part of the marriage act' Hal tells himself, even though they're completely alone inside the Manor.

"Thanks." he says, aloud, and Bruce waves him off like it's nothing.

But it's not. Hal hasn't been taken care of since he was a kid. But bruce acted like it was something special, like it was a reward for him to be able to take care of him.

It starts pretty early, after the first few years of the inception of the Justice League

Hal's been a Lantern for a while now, but now he's specifically a part of a Earth Team which means he needs to check in with Earth more and more frequently which means he needs a home and money and all those things

Bruce who is sick of all the people of Gotham wanting to bed him and the pressures of society to just get married already- it all distracts from how he could be helping the city more, plus there's certain things that aren't available to him unless he's married- certain tax benefits or a portion of his parents will and assets that only get relinquished to him once he's married (since they didn't expect to die so young)

Hal who marries Bruce so that he can stay in the Manor whenever he's on Earth and not need to worry about taking care of an apartment that he rarely visits, and who no longer needs to worry about getting fired from a job for his weird work hours as a Lantern

Bruce who marries Hal for tax purposes and to get other people off his back about being in a relationship

They get married in Vegas because Hal always thought it'd be funny to be married via Elvis and Bruce is still young and free enough to think its funny and agree

Only the main founders of the League are really aware of it because they all attended, but by the time the Justice League is what it is Now the fact that Batman and Green Lantern are married has sort of faded into the background as information that people don't really know. (Plus, who gives a shit that Bruce Wayne has married this random man named Hal? What does that have to do with Green Lantern?)

Batman who is known to have money and so someone asks him for a loan and he's like "yeah, sure. Lemme just check with my husband first." And the other person is like "hus- check- sorry, excuse me what?" and bruce is just like "Its a marriage of convenience but regular things still apply. half of what belongs to me belongs to him so I have to check with him" and that wasn't at all what the person was asking but okay

For the first few years nothing big changes, Hal barely has time to drop by Earth much less the Manor, so they don't see each other that often. They check up on each other through reading logs, and slowly that transitions into sending each other letters.

Just small things, updates on how the mission went, the most recent case Bruce had, what the weather is like in the Anastasia Galaxy. Then it slowly shifts into talking about their days, what their favorite foods are, how they like to sleep at night, what some of their favorite songs are.

Hal gets a message around three years into their marriage that reads "I- or I suppose when you return home to sign the documents it will be we- have adopted a son. His name is Dick. His parents were murdered in front of him. Please don't be afraid when he appears." And Hal just nods and nothing feels wrong about Bruce casually referring to the Manor as home.

He does go home, eventually, and signs the adoption papers, and says hi to Dick.

As a few more years pass, he's needed less and less outside in the galaxy and the reigns are loosened a little more, so he spends more and more time on Earth, and more and more time at the Manor.

They're not a regular couple by any means, but the 'guest' room in which Hal stays always has the windows cracked just slightly, the way he described in his letters, and the duvet is always fluffed. Hal wakes up early and makes coffee for himself and sets Bruce's mug on the counter where he can easily grab it before heading down to the cave, and makes breakfast for Dick before he heads off to work. His information works just as easily as Bruce and Dick's does in the Manor network, and he's stopped thinking as everything inside as "bruce's" and more of as "theirs"

When Hal is off on a mission somewhere a few years later he gets a text from Dick that reads "Fuck Bruce" and then a phone call from Bruce asking him to please come back, he doesn't know what he did wrong

They're just a marriage of convenience, but Dick is still their son, so Hal flies home and they talk and work it out and he comes home to his Dad and cries into his arms.

Bruce whispers his thanks into Hal's hair when they hug goodbye and Hal can't really remember when they started doing that, but he likes it all the same.

They still see each other at Justice League meetings and sure, Bruce stands next to him and asks him how the mission was and tucks his cape around his shoulders in a way he probably wouldn't do normally, but they're married so something is expected of him, right? And Hal just shifts to lean his head against his shoulder and asks after his casework because they live in the same house and talked about it over dinner with Dick last night, that's all.

When Hal gets a message two days into his next space mission that reads "I found a boy" his captain doesn't even say anything when Hal heads home early, to meet Jason Todd.

He doesn't get missions that take him far from home for a few years, and Jason and Dick are the sweetest boys he could ask for. Hal's closet consists more of Bruce's old clothes than any of his own things, but that's just because he didn't really have much and the billionaire did, not because they're so comfy and Hal likes feeling Bruce's warmth. They have a weekly movie night and sometimes Hal stretches his legs onto Bruce's lap and the other man gives him a feet massage while Dick and Jason squabble over who gets to sit next to "Pa" and "Dad"

Hal is off world and missing his family- his two boys that are his sons despite sharing no blood and the man who is kinda... turning into his best friend- when he gets the message about Jason.

He flies home immediately.

Bruce wakes up screaming from nightmares and Hal rushes into his room and holds him, soothes him, cradles him until he calms down and then Bruce wraps his arms around Hal's waist and whispers "Stay" and how can he say no?

The 'guest' room becomes less and less frequented and it isn't until Hal goes looking for one of his old missing socks and realizes he hasn't slept in 'his room' in a solid year and a half, now.

He's taking a walk with Bruce through Gotham- Bruce's coat draped around his shoulders and the other man a warm and familiar presence at his side- when Dick calls them both, frantic, claiming that a small child won't stop following him. Bruce and Hal exchange glances and before the night is over welcome a young Tim Drake into the Manor.

It's a marriage of convenience but it starts to feel almost dangerously like more when Tim nearly dies and then Hal is faced with a young and snappy teenage girl and Bruce, who snarls just like her.

Steph doesn't last long as Robin, but she still floats on the outskirts of the Manor and comes over for dinner and it isn't long before he and Bruce are teasing Tim about picking out a ring and the teenager is blushing and complaining 'go away, dads'

The house grows a little empty as they trickle off to do their own things, but Hal is still there, and Bruce is still there, and its almost like their younger years again, with Bruce cooking and Hal doing the dishes only this time they're both here, not rushing off to other planets or slaving away at Wayne Enterprises

And Bruce is fun, Hal realizes as they sit at the table made for ten, knees touching and trading wine glasses and stories and laughing.

They watch a movie and Bruce falls asleep with his head in Hal's lap, Hal's fingers combing through his hair and rubbing along his back and Hal starts to think 'oh no'

And it's been creeping on them for years now, probably since Jason, maybe even since Dick, but neither of them mention it when Hal has an accident and it isn't Batman who stays by his bedside table but Bruce, holding his hand and fixing the pillows behind his back and sneaking him Batburger when the shitty hospital food can't sate his cravings.

Neither of them says anything when Bane breaks Bruce's back and it's Hal- not Alfred, or Dick, or Clark- who wheels him home and helps him relearn to walk and feeds him and holds a straw to his lips and tucks him into bed and stabilizes him with his ring and holds him when he wakes up crying from nightmares

Cassandra tumbles into their lives at some point and Hal thinks Bruce was made to be a girl-dad and wonders when in his head he stopped thinking of him as 'Bruce' and simply considers him 'you'

Bruce calls him 'husband' and 'my love' as a joke that started from Elvis, and Hal calls him 'sweetheart' and 'baby' and 'babe' and its just for the crowd, just so that people believe them when they say 'oh, I love him so much' 'he brightens my world' 'I've never been happier than since I met him' 'hes the love of my life' 'my soulmate'

And its Hal who consoles him when he breaks down and tells him about Talia, about Ra's, about what the League made the two of them do and it's Hal who holds Damian when he arrives for the first time and whispers to him that he will do great things, just like his father

And the children grow and come and go and Duke is sweet and funny and sarcastic and Bruce says that he 'gets it from you' and Hal quips back that 'the rest all got it from you' and Duke rolls his eyes at them and says 'I can't believe you guys are real' and something twitches in Hal's chest

"It's a marriage of convenience." They tell any of their friends who will listen, though those friends have long since stopped asking or teasing them about it, have just grown to accept that they will always be each others plus one.

"It's a marriage of convenience." Hal reminds himself when Bruce gets sick, so sick that he can't walk, so sick that he has to give up Batman, so sick that he's confined to bed and Hal has to feed him and clothe him and bathe him and keep him alive.

"It's a marriage of convenience." Hal whispers as Bruce's chest stutters with its last breaths, as Bruce's hand grows limp and cold in his own.

"It was a marriage of convenience." Hal tells the world, standing behind the casket of midnight black, wearing Bruce's clothes and the cologne Bruce got him and the sorrow in his voice is only there because of the happiness Bruce gave him before.

but its not fine for Bruce because all of his life has been for someone else, when he was a child he didn't have choices and everything was for his parents, then he toured the globe For Gotham, now he does things For Alfred and his Children and everything all boils down to doing something For Someone Else and for the first time in his life Bruce wants something and he wants it badly

but people keep interrupting his Want and for once he just can't handle this overstepping of his boundaries so when Dick or Jason or Someone interrupts dinner for the twentieth time and Hal excuses himself and mutters something about a 'rain check' the way he always does-

Bruce doesn't say anything at first, he just quietly cleans up dinner. Dick or Jason or whoever interrupted the dinner this time are haggling him, asking about the food, talking about their day, something something something, and they think it's fine. Bruce seems annoyed but hes seemed annoyed every time and its no biggie, really, they're just being their regular Kid Selves

And then Bruce turns around and looks at them. And there is so much anger and exhaustion in his eyes that the Batkid freezes.

"For so much of our relationship, you have been trying to get rid of me." Bruce says, voice deathly soft. "You argue for your freedom, fight me for it, go to the ends of the world to escape me and my 'meddling'. I respected that. I stayed away. even at the cost of my own life and yours in your desperate hope to 'prove yourself to me'- I stayed away."

He turns back to the sink, shaking his head. "I am not you. I am not going to run away from this. I was only hoping that you all would be able to extend to me the same fucking decency of not invading my private life the way I have never invaded yours. But I guess that is just yet another aspect in which I failed to parent you."

And then he walks away.

The Batkids are shaken. Bruce doesn't invite Hal out for another date, but they still spend time together on the Watchtower, and Hal tells him it's no big deal, really. That maybe they should go to his place for a bit. And Bruce hates, it feels like giving in and he wanted to Show Hal His Home, he wanted to give the flighty never-in-one-place-for-long pilot somewhere he could actually grow roots, wanted for them to grow roots there together.

But he agrees. They don't go to Gotham after work, they go back to Cali with Hal. And it's nice, but the sun is too bright, and the people are too friendly, and even Hal seems a bit uncomfortable in his home state after spending so much time in Gotham. But what can they do?

Bruce returns to Gotham afterwards, alone, because Hal thought it might be better if he stay away for a while - and oh if that doesn't burn on Bruce's skin - and finds a quiet, candlelight dinner laid out for two.

He ignores it, his stomach full of some famous diner dish that Hal bought them, and figures its for one of the kids and their partner. He goes to bed.

But it keeps happening.

One of his favorite rooftops, the one with a brilliant view of the city, has a picnic laid out. No one else is around. Bruce steps over it with a frown and hopes that the couple that somehow made it up there without hurting themselves is okay.

His favorite restaurant seems to be shut down and when he pokes his head inside to ask why they tell him it has been reserved for a quiet dinner for two people. He leaves again.

He's sitting in his room, about ready for bed, when Dick or Steph or Damian slam the door open and walk over to him.

"We're sorry, okay?" They whisper. "I'm sorry. We should have- you're right. It was wrong of us to invade. To intrude. No matter what our justifications are, you deserved to introduce Hal to us on your own terms, and you deserved to see if he was right for you on your own, too. I'm sorry. We all are."

-activity anon

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Also in my genuine thought of thoughts, in a context of Batlantern having been in love/together from the start, I think Hal would especially be close to Tim and Steph because they were the last of the Batkids he took care of with Bruce before his Parallax arc 💔 Imagine him coming back from the dead and the two of them simply don't want to talk to him anymore for completely different reasons, each boiling down to the fact that — "My first father figure already left/betrayed me, I didn't think you'd do that to me too"

— Yumi 🌪️

hehehe im so glad you're enjoying my brain has sort of locked in on them fr these last few days

aughhhh don't do this to meeeeee. I think personally of all the Batkid's Hal is closest with Duke, Steph and Damian bc Duke is BatLantern's child and I have no evidence for it but just yes, Steph is literally Hal reincarnated and Damian is literally Bruce reincarnated and none of it makes sense but it makes sense in my heart.