I can handle it!!!! (she said, clearly not handling it)

“If you promise to stay alive just a little bit longer I promise that we are going to make this world a place worth living in by any means necessary. I ain’t giving up. I swear.” 

By which I mean, asks used to be WAY more of the tumblr economy. They used to be more common to send, and receive, and see. They were integral to the collaborative, forum-like behavior of old tumblr communities, not even to speak on the HUGE number of ask-blogs that used to exist to only be interacted with in ask-form.

How's London? I just want to interrupt your tea for a moment to let you know what's been happening since you left. You know it kills me that you're in London now, goofing, while I'm here with three term papers ahead of me. And the album's sitting downtown at Columbia in our cubby.

Two things before I forget: Did you find a scooter for us? Call up the number I gave you, the guy knows all about these sort of things- he'll be very helpful. I expect to see you and the machine in Paris when I come after finals. Also send me the chords to "Wednesday Morning" because I expect to do singles at Gerde's for a few nights.

Tom asked me yesterday if I would write the album notes. I told him I thought the author should explain his own songs, but I'm reconsidering. In fact, it's a very pleasant task. I know how you feel about this, but I (your greatest advocate) want as many as possible to understand as much as possible. Please understand that mine is the difficult position more than slightly analogous to the man who received Franz Kafka's dying request to burn all his manuscripts, but who nonetheless felt obliging to rush off to the publisher at his first chance. The point is that you understanding the songs, me believing in their worth, and Columbia recording them, is really not sufficient. So I decided last night to write the following as a "listener's guide" to the songs:

[...]

Paul- let me know what you think. I tried to be as honest as I can. You know how [I] [We] feel- there may or may not be a market for intellectuality, but there is your personal feel for the material, and ours for the performance.

I promised I'd be down to the mastering next week to fight for the harmonica in "He Was My Brother." (Making an album is lots of fun.)

Listen, try and get us a job for when I come. And no singing in the streets.

starts the letter with the expected simple 'how are you' but somehow with the specificity it feels more intimate for some reason

"I just want to interrupt your tea for a moment" he knows the fact that his letter will arrive at Paul's location, knows Paul will see it and take it with him deeper into wherever he's staying, knows he will start making tea and knows he will be opening and reading his mail during his tea. fuck

It will never not be funny to me that he was casually getting a masters degree while becoming a very popular band like. what do you mean you have three term papers art im crying. poor guy. (also the implication that he would have gone with Paul to London and will join him there as soon as college is done)

"two things before I forget" is such a marriage thing to write I can't. "call the number I gave you" I'm making assumptions because I don't know the context to this but I'm assuming it's relevant for London specific things otherwise Art would've just done it himself- which means he researched and planned for a trip that they knew only Paul would be going on. But he also says 'for us'. Listen. It's just sweet

"send me the chords to Wednesday Morning" it makes me feel good that they also abbreviate their songs because sorry Paul that's a long ass song title and also he's singing solo joints is crazy

"(your greatest advocate)" He wants him carnally. This entire paragraph is so damned cute. He's just saying 'I want the world to know you the way I know you. you want to be understood, so tell them.'

also him comparing Paul to Franz Kafka is actually insane work and I applaud him heartily for that

'me believing in their worth' there's no comment to this that's just a cute as fuck line

"let me know what you think" I really desperately want to know if there's a response letter that has been exposed to the public

"to fight for the harmonica" is a crazy funny line for no reason but also he's fighting for a musical choice they probably both made by himself because Paul is in London. :(

"(Making an album is lots of fun)" he's just a funny lil guy I'm sure Paul laughed at that

"Try and get us a job for when I come. And no singing in the streets." This gives me so many questions. Were they lacking in job opportunities? Was Paul in charge of all of their Jobs/Scheduling etc? Paul has gone on record and said they busked frequently- is Art sick of it? Did something bad happen the last time? Does he just hate London specifically? Is Paul extra weird when they busk? Does Art just not want Paul singing in public? Is it a warning for him to just not sing until Art gets there? I have questionssssss

Ace: Ace genuinely wants Hal dead and Hal wants Ace to be his best friend and they have a genuine and intense rivalry. I made a post about Dick hating Ace and Hal has along the same mindset. Ace is BRUCES dog and this Random Man who is taking up his Space and Time and sorta smells like him but not really is an Imposter and Should Not Be Trusted. Hal just wants the dog to love him, man

Titus: Titus and Hal are best of friends. The sort of relationship Hal wanted with Ace he gets with Titus. Imagine the most purest and truest forms of 'a boy with his dog' in any media and you will get what Hal and Titus have. Titus adores that man. He follows him around the Manor when he comes to visit, he does an adorable little 'woof' when he wants Hal's attention, his tail thumps against the floor aggressively whenever Hal looks at him, he is a goner for Hal and Hal frickin loves that dog. A big reason for it is because of Damian, because Damian wanted to show interest in his fathers newest 'fling' that wasn't going away and one of the ways he bonds with people is through animals, so. It's beautiful

Alfred(the cat): Alfred is hit or miss. Sometimes, if no one else is around, the cat will curl up on his lap and purr. Sometimes when Hal comes into the Manor after a really long and tiresome mission, he'll even wind himself around his legs in greeting. Sometimes. Hal isn't his favorite human by far, but he's a reliable one.

BatCow: BatCow has it out for Hal. In the same way Ace does but more like she's going to suffocate him with her affection. Hal steps one foot into the bat cave and immediately has to sprint for the stairs because otherwise a ten ton cow is running full speed at him and mooing like an overly excited puppy dog, about to slobber him full and sit on him until he physically fuses into her. She bites him. She licks him. That one dude on TikTok who tries (and fails) to cook with a cow in his kitchen? That's Hal and Batcow

Goliath: Goliath is like The Cool Cousin at family functions to Hal. He doesn't dislike Hal, he just doesn't put that much effort to be around him either. Sometimes they make eye contact and it almost looks like Goliath might not eat him and Hal swoons about it for a week.

Haley: Haley is Dick's dog and is not around Hal all that much, but she's just a lover. She is happy to see anyone no matter who, and Hal likes to think he's special but she just likes attention and as an Attention Whore himself, Hal is the one who gives it to her the most whenever Dick brings her to the Manor

I think that's the last of them... maybe. Anyway. That's Hal and the Batfam Menagerie. :P

EDIT: I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT JERRY THE TURKEY AND THE RANDOM BIRD THING WHOS BREED I CAN NEVER SPELL CORRECTLY (macaw?)

Jerry the Motherflippin Turkey: Hal and Jerry have a vendetta against each other. A day does not pass where Hal does not threaten to turn him into sandwich toppings. Hal steps foot in the vicinity and Jerry lets out one, very soft, very threatening "berk" that promptly makes Damian lunge for his katana and Hal book it out of the vicinity again. They are constant and they are relentless and they had a fist fight once. "How do you fist fight a turkey, Hal?" "Shut up Spooky." "Better question, how do you lose a fist fight with a Turkey?" "Duke, no one asked your opinion." "He doesn't even have fists-" "Duke!"

The Macaw: I don't remember her name and for that I apologize but she and Hal vibin. She sits on his shoulder and he puts on a dumb pirate accent that makes Damian roll his eyes and then laugh and then scowl because he's mad about laughing and Hal feels like he just won the lottery. He gives her little treats and she learns to squawk his name and Hal is an avian master oh yea