Queen of Bad Ideas

night 1:

honey for the first time since 2010

jack the ripper for the first time since 2003

night 2:

gerard in a skeleton costume

the secretary slapping gerard and dressing as the clown

ray talking

zero percent performed for the first time ever?!?

Gerard and the Clerk swapped jackets

Double clowns?!

Double vampires

Desert song - with strings

"Copy. Moon joy."

"I have two Microsoft Outlooks, and neither one of those are working."

"Houston, if you could give me about 20 new superlatives in the mission summary for tomorrow that will help out my vocabulary a little bit, that would be great. Thank you."

“If you’ve ever seen the top of the spotlight of the top of the Luxor at night in Vegas, this looks like what it wants to be when it grows up.”

"To all of you down there on Earth... we love you, from the moon. See you on the other side."

"We just went sci fi.

"It is so great to see Earth again. To Asia, Africa, and Oceania: we are looking back at you. We hear you can look up and see the moon right now. We see you too."

"We will always choose Earth. We will always choose each other."

“It’s a bright spot on the moon, and we would like to call it Carroll.” (The name of Commander Reid Wiseman's late wife)

"Amaze amaze amaze."

"I said that we do not leave Earth, but we choose it. And that is true."

"Christina has been sleeping head down in the middle of the vehicle, kind of like a bat"

"It's really fun to be floatin' around, it just makes me feel like a little kid."

"Trust us, you look amazing, you look beautiful."

"'Homo Sapiens' is all of us, no matter where you're from or what you look like. We're all one people."

"We're going to power cycle the toilet from the ground."

"I'm proud to call myself the Space Plumber."

"We were all eagerly awaiting the chorus." (After Mission Control cut off Pink Pony Club early when waking up the crew)

"Copy heart. Copy bracelet." (In response to Wiseman giving his daughters heart hands and showing them the bracelets they made him that he was wearing)

“Welcome back. We are still here. They are in space.”

"Copy. Bubble wrap nominal."

"We have rediscovered the chocolate snacks."

“The truth is, the moon really is its own body in the universe. It's not just a poster in the sky that goes by, it is a real place."

“We will build ships. We will visit again. We will construct science outposts. We will drive rovers, we will do radio astronomy.”

"I've seen a lot of new perspectives, but my perspective has not changed because I launched with the perspective that there is enough for all." (After being asked if they had a new view on humankind.)

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

😞

Like he can't understand rhetorical questions because its truth serum and like generally he just keeps thoughts to himself instead of speaking so he's just-

Hal: damn who died and put you in charge? Bruce: My parents ~ Oliver: okay, show of hands, who saw this coming? Bruce: *raises hand* ~ Barry: Bro I got fired and they wouldn't give me my last paycheck. Has that ever happened to you? Bruce: Me. The billionaire. The Wayne heir. Have I ever lost my job and not been given a paycheck? Barry:... Bruce: Do you want some cash? Barry: yes please. ~ Diana: I can't believe the humans would let this happen Bruce: I can. The species notorious for killing each other and having no respect for the natural world? who could have guessed that? Me. (Yes he answers his own rhetorical questions) ~ Clark: Did you just get stabbed? Bruce: The blade that just entered the side of my body- my flesh, natural human born- body? Do you define 'getting stabbed' as a blade entering my body? Because then Yes, Kal. I did just get stabbed.

Damian: Absolutely not. Individually, they have the riches, state secrets, and manipulation tactics to run entire countries. Together, they would be too powerful. It would be world domination. Then, the universe. We would be the inheritors of a bloody, bloody throne, Grayson.

"My pet human, Greg, hasn't left his bed in a long time. He's just scrolling his phone all day" Greg needs enrichment. Add enrichment in his enclosure and take him on walks

"Greg has been super lethargic and sad recently for seemingly no reason" Greg need vitamins, take him outside for some vitamin D and fresh air. Perhaps a picnic

"Greg won't sleep even though he's been super lethargic" Greg needs a schedule, especially for the lights in his enclosure.

"Greg has been super distant recently and keeps crying to sad music" Humans are pack animals, he needs to hug another human and hang out. Perhaps pack bond with a rock together

"Greg has been flailing around and panicking, his breathing is way faster than it should be" Greg is overwhelmed. Take Greg out of the situation and give him time to calm down. Perhaps somewhere cozy with tea and a movie

"Greg won't do what he needs to do" Train him. Humans do great with positive reinforcement, give him little treats when he's doing good

"Greg he's been super anxious and tired, he can't seem to enjoy his days" Humans needs to move around. Give Greg something to exercise with. Things like stretching, weight lifting, walking, or even dancing will help

"Even though I've taken really good care of Greg, he still has been having issues" Greg is ill, take him to the doctor. You might need a specialist (therapist, optometrist, oncologist, etc)

“Wow that adult was being a jerk”

“That sounds really frustrating”

”Good job handling that, I would have lost my mind”

“It’s cool, I don’t expect you to remember me”

“You don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to”

“Yeah sometimes (authority figure you can’t avoid) doesn’t know what they’re talking about, it’s not your fault, just do your best”

“I don’t totally understand what you mean but I get that you’re upset, is there anything I can do?”

”Wanna go yell and break stuff with me?”

“You don’t need to be friends with that kid as long as you can still be polite”

“If an adult tells you to do something that will get you hurt, you don’t have to listen.”

“My number one goal is to keep you safe, but I don’t know everything and sometimes I’m wrong, so let me know if I make a mistake.”

“Man. Today sucked.”

“Yeah I also kinda wanna cry right now”

“Whoops, yeah, my bad”