Broken beyond repair💔

I hate when people say “ you don’t look anorexic.” Like it’s a look and not a mental disorder. 6% of people with eating disorders are actually underweight!

Why is it that people need to see pain in order to validate that it’s real? So annoying.

When people think I’m okay because I stopped self harming and recovered physically from my eating disorder. I’m actually not at all okay and very suicidal. I’m just not using those coping skills atm. My brain is still just as messed up.

Love getting attached to my middle aged therapist who reminds me of a mom...love that for me lol.

I never thought my eating disorder was real cause I was never severely emaciated. Yes I was underweight and yes I had a feeding tube at one point, but people would always make comments like "You are extremely skinny, but it doesnt look like you have an ed". Now my brain is constantly like prove it to yourself and get THAT skinny. Then another part of my brain is like, that's so stupid and will only make you more miserable. Anyone relate or am I just crazy lol?

Does anyone sometimes cut to prove to themselves that your emotions are valid because you've been invalidated your whole life? Cause same.

My dad straight up told me to stop seeing my therapist. That I should just shove all of my bad feelings down and "put a lid on it". I have never more clearly seen the way he fucked up my head.