some men want money and power i would like a woman to look at me like i’m dinner

“just be yourself” brother that is exactly what has been preventing sex

being a man is seeing a pretty woman and immediately forgetting every language

one thing about me i will mistake basic kindness for sexual tension

“take your time” okay see u next year

“u look tired” thank u i made it myself

owning a candle does NOT mean your life is together. i said what i said

i rarely make good decisions i just be like “well this should be interesting” and continue

everybody is tough until a bug flies directly at their face

the worst part of having a good memory is knowing exactly when things changed

i think i say “what” just to give my brain another five seconds

everybody wants a sign until the sign says stop

the older i get the more i understand why ancient people stared at fires all night

it’s insane that we spend childhood wanting freedom and adulthood trying to remember what freedom felt like

why does rain make everything feel meaningful like bro it’s just water with gravity

i think animals know we’re insane but enjoy the free housing

why does the last hour before sleep feel like the only time my life belongs to me