being suicidal at 11 was genuinely crazy i shouldve been aborted

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being suicidal at 11 was genuinely crazy i shouldve been aborted

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I WANT TO FUCKING CUT MYSELF BUT I CANT.
WHY IS THIS THE WORST FEELING EVER.
what doesnt kill u kills you eventually
. ๐ . โฌ๐โด๐ธ๐ ๐นโด๐๐ ๐โฏ๐ โด๐๐ โกี๐ื ๐คแึบ๐ค๐ีแ : เด
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ฐ ๐น๐ธ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ธ๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ $๐, โฌ๐ณ, ๐ณ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐, $@, $๐๐๐๐ท๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ผ๐พ๐๐ด. ๐ธ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐? ๐ป๐ด๐ฐ๐ ๐ด ๐ผ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ป๐พ๐ฝ๐ด!!!
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข ๐๐ฐ๐ต๐ด ๐๐ฟ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ด ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ $๐๐๐๐ท๐๐. ๐๐ ๐ณ๐พ๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐. ๐๐๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐.
I should cut my ribs open

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I need to cvt deeper and have wider scars but I donโt want infection
sighh i dont hurt myself as much as i should
just saw someone on TikTok complain about how they saw self harm scars on shtwt????