#attachment

⟢ Please support me by reposting, liking, following, and commenting on this post. If it doesn't resonate with you, please keep in mind that a birth chart must be read as a whole.

Moon in the 4th house There’s something about you that feels familiar quickly. People relax more than they expected to, they start opening up without really planning to. It doesn’t feel like effort with you.

Venus–Saturn aspects (especially conjunction or trine) You don’t give affection randomly. When you show up, it feels intentional, and people can tell. That’s what makes it harder to replace.

Psyche conjunct Moon or trine Mercury You pick up on what people feel before they explain it properly. You respond to the emotional layer, not just the words, and that’s what makes people feel seen.

Juno in the 7th house or conjunct Venus You make connections feel real rapidly. Not intense, just… like it could actually go somewhere. And people don’t forget that feeling

Amor trine Venus or sextile Moon You show care in ways that don’t feel forced. It’s not performative, it’s consistent, and that’s precisely what people get attached to

Mars in Cancer or Pisces You don’t react loudly, but your emotions are always present in what you do. People can feel when something matters to you, even if you don’t say it directly

Moon–Venus aspects Closeness feels natural with you. People don’t feel like they have to earn it, it just happens, and that makes them lower their guard.

➵ It may not feel like much while it’s happening, but people don’t forget how they felt around you. 💗

Credits to @saradika-graphics (divider) 💗

Common Anxious Thoughts, Emotions, and Reactions

THOUGHTS

Mind reading: "That’s it, I know s/he’s leaving me."

All-or-nothing thinking: "I’ve ruined everything, there’s nothing I can do to mend the situation."

"I’ll never find anyone else."

"I knew this was too good to last."

"I have to talk to or see him/her right now."

"S/he can’t treat me this way! I’ll show him/her!"

"S/he is so amazing, why would s/he want to be with me anyway?"

"I knew something would go wrong; nothing ever works out right for me."

"S/he’d better come crawling back to beg my forgiveness, otherwise s/he can forget about me forever."

"Maybe if I look drop-dead gorgeous or act seductive, things will work out."

Remembering all the good things your partner ever did and said after calming down from a fight.

Recalling only the bad things your partner has ever done when you’re fighting.

EMOTIONS

Sad ⚜ Angry ⚜ Fearful ⚜ Resentful ⚜ Frustrated

Hopeless ⚜ Despairing ⚜ Jealous ⚜ Hostile ⚜ Vengeful

Guilty ⚜ Self-loathing ⚜ Restless ⚜ Uneasy ⚜ Humiliated

Hate-filled ⚜ Uncertain ⚜ Agitated ⚜ Rejected ⚜ Depressed

Unloved ⚜ Lonely ⚜ Misunderstood ⚜ Unappreciated

ACTIONS

Act out. ⚜ Attempt to reestablish contact at any cost.

Pick a fight. ⚜ Threaten to leave.

Wait for them to make the first reconciliation move.

Act hostile—roll eyes, look disdainful.

Try to make him/her feel jealous.

Act busy or unapproachable. ⚜ Act manipulatively.

Withdraw—stop talking to their partner or turn away from him/her physically.

Attachment classifications come from watching babies’ behavior.

Below is a short description of how anxious attachment style is defined in children. Some of their responses can also be detected in adults who share the same attachment style.

This baby becomes extremely distressed when mommy leaves the room.

When her mother returns, she reacts ambivalently—she is happy to see her but angry at the same time.

She takes longer to calm down, and even when she does, it is only temporary.

A few seconds later, she’ll angrily push mommy away, wriggle down, and burst into tears again.

Where Do Attachments Styles Come From?

Initially it was assumed that adult attachment styles were primarily a product of your upbringing.

Thus, it was hypothesized that your current attachment style is determined by the way in which you were cared for as a baby:

If your parents were sensitive, available, and responsive, you should have a secure attachment style; if they were inconsistently responsive, you should develop an anxious attachment style; and if they were distant, rigid, and unresponsive, you should develop an avoidant attachment style.

Today, however, we know that attachment styles in adulthood are influenced by a variety of factors, one of which is the way our parents cared for us, but other factors also come into play, including our genes and life experiences.

For example, the Jedi taking in children very young is often something that gets criticized and while there have been people trying to explain this in-universe as a necessary thing to help these kids grow up with certain values and make their lives as Jedi easier in the long run, it's going to be something that's far easier to swallow if you just realize it's a straight up fantasy trope. The kids are magical, there's a force in the universe calling them to take up a specific path so they can fulfill a destiny. That's it. These kids know, at extremely young ages, that they're destined for something greater and can follow that path and call older magical beings to help guide them down that path. It's just fantasy, y'all, it's not meant to be any deeper than that.

Whereas on the other hand, the attachment rule sometimes gets explained away as something that's necessary for the Jedi because they're space wizards with special powers that are connected to their emotions and so the Jedi NEED to manage attachments in a way no one else does specifically due to their abilities. But in reality, attachments and their consequences are part of the overall theme of the entire franchise, specifically of Anakin's storyline. You as the audience are meant to look at Anakin's story and realize that attachments are in fact actually bad and while you may not end up murdering a bunch of children as a result of your own attachments, it's probably still worth figuring out how to control your fear and let some shit go and accept that sometimes people die and it's sad but it's just how life goes sometimes. The attachment rule isn't important to the Jedi because they have space wizard powers, it's important to them because it's just genuinely important for EVERYONE. This isn't a fantasy trope, this is a storytelling trope that is often at the core of a LOT of different stories you know because it's a really really basic message to send about how to live your life in a healthy way.