this unintentionally became just nerd stuff

towards the end of their wedding reception, sun setting, looking rumpled and tired, Ilya kissing Shane's palm while Shane is very seriously talking to Scott Hunter

the two of them with a fan, taken at the dog park, Ilya holding Anya and Shane with one arm around his husband's shoulder and the other trying to prevent Anya from licking the fan's face

Shane Hollander sitting on the Centaurs bench with blood on his face, mouth wide open, Ilya Rozanov gripping his chin and glaring at the gap where Shane's bottom canine used to be

Ilya Rozanov with his fist in the air after a goal, a smear of red in the corner of his mouth

sitting next to each other at team tape review, heads bent together, Ilya's hand on Shane's thigh, Shane's hands sketching out a play in the air

Ilya Rozanov leaning against his car in the airport arrivals line, a coffee in one hand and a forest-green smoothie in the other

Shane Hollander giving his husband the middle finger after losing the shot accuracy competition at ASG by half a second

piggyback racing across the yard with a Pike twin each clinging to their necks

Ilya Rozanov, outraged, with a face full of snow, as his husband doubles over with laughter

wearing identical blank expressions the seventeenth time a journalist asks about their "off-ice chemistry"

Shane Hollander throwing his head back and cackling in a booth at a random dive bar in a random city, Ilya Rozanov grinning into his drink

So Ilya knows that Shane doesn't want kids. And that's fine. Ilya thinks he does want them, but not so badly that he couldn't live without them if Shane didn't want them. Their family is already perfect, just the two of them. And Ilya gets to help look after Pike's kids sometimes, and he adores those kids, so that's good enough.

That's why Ilya is completely blindsided one day when Shane turns to him after settling all the Pike kids down for their afternoon nap, and says, "Do you think our kids would be this easy to settle if we ever had them?"

And Ilya's so shocked that his brain has to buffer for a moment. He's just staring at Shane, whose cheeks are now flushing with colour. Ilya can't figure out where to start with this conversation, and the longer he's taking to reply the more awkward Shane is getting, until eventually his eyes drop to his hands. "I mean, uh, nevermind. Forget I said anything. I just thought... nevermind."

This snaps Ilya out of it. "Where is this coming from? I thought you didn't want kids?"

And Shane has a little confused frown on his face. "I've always wanted kids. I thought you might not want kids. You always get a little weird when anyone brings it up in conversation. I can't ever get a good read on what you want."

And this is truly not how Ilya thought this conversation was going to go if they ever had it.

"But what about all those interviews where you avoid the question? All that 'the cup is my only baby' stuff...?"

"That's because it's a stupid fucking question and none of their business," Shane laughs. "And also because it's not something I thought I'd ever be able to have. Not when I couldn't imagine ever being happy with a woman. Not when I thought I'd never be with someone I actually wanted to build a life with. But with you? Yeah. Yeah one day when hockey is done, Ilya Rozanov, I'd really like to have kids with you. But only if you want it to."

And Ilya smiles Tampa-bar bright, and swoops in to kiss Shane all giddy and messy, following it up with at least a dozen more peppered all over his face.

"Of course I want to have babies with you. They would be the most beautiful babies in the world," he says. And then he looks around the living room. "How mad do you think Hayden would be if we made our first one right now?"

He's waggling his eyebrows, and Shane laughs and shoves him.

Go to Tampa, get his man ✅

Show his man that he cares ✅

Get man to his luxury wilderness getaway, ply him with burgers and beer and kicking around a soccer ball and video games and honestly and tenderness and solitude ✅

Make plan to keep man forever, AND preserve their fucking lives and careers ✅

Look at parents and says “no actually he fucks me good and I love him, no more lies, and also we’re all gonna be a family now I’m done with compartmentalizing” ✅

Win another fucking Stanley cup using latent adrenaline and serotonin from landing hottest baddie in the NHL ✅

Propose marriage like a boss: candles, ring, forgot second ring but who cares, carpet frottage, sincerity ✅

Loyalty (1869)

— by Briton Rivière

Loyalty (2025)

It’s fingers hooked into belt loops, hands in each other’s pockets, arms looped around waists as far as they can go without interfering. It’s toes pressed to socks, ankles locked against calves, thighs bracketed around hips. It’s held stands of hair and chins settled on shoulders and full body constrictions.

The first time, Shane accidentally dozes off after sex. It’s after a game, late in the night, and Ilya decided to challenge himself to see how many Os that he could get out of Shane. Add in a soft bed and a Russian hockey-player weighted blanket—it doesn’t take long.

Ilya flops onto the bed beside him, catching his own breath. He turns to Shane, a chirp on his lips, when he notices—Shane looks peaceful and blissed out, cheek half pressed into the pillow. Ilya’s heart warms (but he tries very hard to ignore what the feeling is).

He should rouse Shane and coax him back to his room. It would be the smart thing to do.

But I also really enjoy the idea of him saying something bitchy under his breath once, that just happens to be caught by one of the gay guys at the party, and now he's surrounded by the loudest, outest, gayest men who are all gleefully pointing to various people at the party or shoving their phones in his face to hear his bitchy opinions.

They form a big group, and eventually Ilya comes along thinking he has to rescue Shane, but he quickly realizes Shane is having a great time being judgemental with the lads.

To be clear, Shane still knows nothing about fashion, but he knows what looks stupid, and he knows when people are trying too hard, and he knows what good, expensive shit looks like so he can clock any knock-off from a mile away.

And the gays can help point out why the things he thinks are ugly are, in fact, ugly.

I also really like the idea of him ganging up with Kip at the awards night and just reading all the other hockey players to filth. Like, Kip just giddy and giggling at his side while Shane systematically destroys every person who walks by (his husband included). He's quoting stats. He's bringing up known (and sometimes unknown) character flaws. He's pulling old plays from memory and breaking down exactly why and how that player fucked up and what it means about him as a person.

It’s all shiny from his saliva. He didn’t realise how hard he’d been sucking and biting and mouthing at Shane’s neck as he fucked them through their second orgasms. Ilya is like oh fuck a little worried he bit too hard and he’s leaning down to brush his mouth mover it in tiny little kisses and Shane shivers and tightens around Ilya so hard Ilya gasps, hand gripping Shane’s hip. And Shane is all “don’t I can’t. I need like a few minutes at least” and Ilya is like oh 😚 my perfect pervert.

Shane finally sees it later in the afternoon, after a nap and shower with the help of the bathroom mirror and a phone. His eyes go dark and hes blushing and Ilya is all “you like this?” And Shane is shrugging and nodding and he’s leaning into Ilya again like they have a string tugging between their navels. He blows Ilya there in the bathroom, his knees on the tile, wet and worshiping and pulls Ilya’s hand to the back of his neck. He cums wet and messy against Ilya’s shin when Ilya’s fingers press down hard into the bruise while his cock is in the back of Shane’s throat.

- Ilya gets a sunburn during the first cottage summer and neither of them realize it until Ilya is taking his shirt off that night and Shane sees the lobster-red flush across his shoulders. He sucks in a hiss through his teeth and says, "Oh, baby, ouch," and presses the big, broad pads of his fingertips so tenderly to Ilya's shoulder and Ilya has to close his eyes because he feels like he's going to crack apart.

- When he answers the phone and he's alone. "Hi baby," said so softly if it's been a long day. Or a hard one. Or if it's late. "Hey baby," more energetically, usually in the morning, in a way that reminds Ilya of how his teammates answer the phone to their girlfriends and wives. Masculine and jockish and very North American in a way that makes Ilya feel pleased for Shane, in a weird way.

- Glass on the floor in the kitchen. Ilya blindly following the sound of the shatter and not really even thinking about it until he's standing amongst the shards and Shane is gesturing frantically with the broom. "Put on some fucking shoes, baby, please! Fuck, where are your slides--no, don't move, I'll get them--"

- Said gently, as a question, on days when he perhaps stays in bed longer than can be justified by sleepiness.

- "Hey, baby," said some mornings when Ilya comes downstairs dressed for the day and Shane really likes his outfit. Usually an indication that Ilya will not be wearing those clothes for very long.

- In bed less often than you'd think. Really a vanilla sex only thing, because being called baby can sometimes bring Ilya out of it when he's really in the groove. But Shane will lose it a little sometimes, when Ilya says, "Tell me you like it," and Shane says, "Yes baby fuck fuck I like it fuck please don't stop fuck baby please let me cum" and that's. Very good. Obviously.

- Said with a very particular warning lilt and only AFTER Shane has already said, "Ilya." and then, "Rozanov." In the same tone. This is actually one of only two circumstances where the very elusive 'babe' comes into play. If Shane REALLY wants Ilya to stop whatever he's doing or saying, it's a hand around the wrist and the word, "Babe," quiet but firm. And it does shut Ilya up approximately 100% of the time.

- Other instance of 'babe': Any sort of crowd. 'Ilya' is three syllables (Because Shane...pronounces it a bit wrong.) and unique enough that Shane sometimes worries about drawing attention. 'Babe' is one syllable and can be barked above the crowd in the Captain Hollander voice loud enough that Ilya will have no choice but to hear him if he's within the surrounding 500 feet. They have Marco-Polo'd themselves back to each other with 'BABE' and 'SHANE' multiple times in multiple countries.

- One time someone accidently brings several bottles of fortified wine to the barbecue. It's quite high proof for wine and several people get tipsier than normal, including Shane. Halfway through the evening he puts his head on Ilya's shoulder and plays with his fingers and murmurs, "My baby," into the seam of his shirt and Ilya, looking down at him so fondly, says, "Yes. Yours. Drink some water for me, sweetheart."

What if Shane didn't get hit that night, and Ilya went back to Shane's hook-up building as planned, where he kissed him and kissed him and kissed him with everything he had, and then fucked him with everything left, trying to get just one last taste, one last beautiful noise from Shane Hollander. Then, before the sweat has cooled on their bodies, he's ripping himself away and making his way through his 'we can't do this anymore speech'?

It kills him. Absolutely kills him. But he forces out every word, because if he doesn't, he'll do something stupid. This boring Canadian with beautiful freckles brought him to tears. Tears. He didn't even cry when his dad died, but a gentle kiss from Shane Hollander, four thousand miles away, on a fucking screen, and he's breaking down? No. He can't do this.

For a moment, Shane just gapes at him, still half-naked, hair mussed and gorgeous, before he launches into excruciating detail of everything that has been going right. He asks Ilya if he feels it too - that closeness, that need to be together, the way the itch under his skin only settles when they talk. Then even worse, he tells Ilya, point blank, that he'd be his. That he'd try to make it work. That they could work something out. Try to actually go somewhere, just like they talked about. He throws Ilya's own words back in his face 'I thought you wanted to know when you could have me for as long as you wanted'.

And then he just. Nods. After Ilya's managed to say 'I can't do this anymore, Hollander', chest too tight and voice punched out, Shane swallows, tears swimming in his eyes, and fucking nods. And somehow, that silence is worst than if Shane had screamed at him for hours.

Shane turns away from him, throwing clothes back on, and there's nothing left for Ilya to do other than leave. So, biting back an apology, he does. He drags himself out the door, and starts trying to convince himself that this is better.