thoughts from Dust

　ﾟ･｡･

Originally known as DontTakeMyHand

Name: Dusty

do I have the right to be touched,

to touch?

My mouth waters,

and my insides coil until it hurts to breath

I swallow down the need.

Do I have the right to touch?

so that I might squeeze my jaw until you spill out and fill the inside of my mouth like liquid gold.

Drip into my chest and paint my heart gold so that I might be good.

I close my eyes and feel the way your consciousness melds into my chest like it was always there,

encapsulating around my lungs and heart like a rib cage.

Keep my heart in place, please

the desire to have someone to bicker with and be patient with

to work with, to talk with, be quiet with

someone to lean on, and be leaned on by

it curls in my guts and twists me up

your warmth in the morning is a safety i havent felt before

hold me closer in your sleep, let me feel the need of your heart

tender talk and harsher hands —

I feel you every where I go.

it will follow me through out my time until I see you again

And when your hands find the soft part of my belly, and dig until the flesh begins to mold

i’ll ask you to make me ache all over again

a warmth against spine.

never mind the drool on my shoulder

I am safe, i am warm

i am captive but comfortable.

i will not move, for fear of losing your warmth

i will not move, incase you believe you need to move away.

A frightened animal i may be,

but you are comfortable

you are close.

i feel it when i breathe in,

but only for specific breaths

when i’m watching two lean close together

a kiss shared in private when they don’t think anyone is watching

i feel the vine grow when I am alone, in a crowd

the thorns are so small, but they graze against the walls of my breath.

They tighten around my throat every time that unbearable heat comes back late at night

when my hands trail too far down

and those vines strangle me, when the tips of fingers are only my own

the thorns are so small

i could almost ignore them

until the blood comes up on my tongue

would it be unfair to ask if you remember it all?

because sometimes the ache doesn’t leave

and i’m left wondering if I’m the only one who thinks of it all

over and over

and over and over

do we have a chance to find that in someone else?