CantthinkstraightHR

Because during The Long Game, Ilya decides not to tell Shane because it’s not his secret to tell, and Shane has to find out eventually, right? Wiebe says something like “I’m sure Ilya has told you that I understand a little bit about your situation.” And Shane is thinking like, what, you definitely don’t, you were a mid player at your absolute best. But eventually Wiebe gets the point across and it goes, I think, one of a couple different ways:

One: Shane HATES this information and tries to memory hole it immediately. Shane has had a complicated psychosexual attachment to every hockey coach he’s ever had, which is fine because hockey coaches are straighter than God. Even though both Shane and Wiebe are in happily married monogamous relationships, finding out that it’s actually hypothetically possible for a coach to experience reciprocal attraction to him is the worst thing that’s ever happened.

Two: Finding out that Wiebe is bisexual pushes Shane over the edge into having a meta-textual breakdown. Shane: “It’s fucking ridiculous. It’s absurd! We’re already the gayest team in the league. The gay married team. And now we have a gay coach?” Ilya: “Lubimiy, he is bisexual, do not make me ask Harris to give another PowerPoint presentation on bisexual erasure.”

I don’t think either Shane or Ilya need to switch roles to show character growth or demonstrate vulnerability or whatever, that’s weird. I just literally think that two horny athletic dudes in a long-term relationship would eventually try fucking in every single way they can configure their bodies together, up to and including bizarre shit like fucking each other’s earholes. And, I don’t know, man, not every sex act is an identity statement.

I can imagine at some point there’s a new and complicated position they’re trying to fuck in that isn’t working (having a hard time conjuring up the specifics here since we’ve basically made Shane Gumby in our minds but walk with me) and Ilya is like “Bet we could do it if I was the one taking your dick” and they try it and it’s fine and they don’t think about it for another seven years until they’re on vacation at a private beach and Shane is like “I told you, I am never getting fucked on a beach again, last time there was sand in my asshole for a week” and Ilya is like “Ugh, whatever, you fuck me then” and it’s also fine and they don’t think about it again for another seven years. Lather, rinse, repeat. 

does make me think extremely chewy thoughts about how fucking complicated this has to be for ilya. like obviously things with his father are SO fucking complex and layered and there's so much pain there, but also what emotional potential of being the only person he consistently remembers. even ilya's older brother gets forgotten, but when he's distressed, ilya is the one he calls? he ALWAYS seems to know ilya?????

it adds to the guilt also that he's the only one who can calm his father down or at least handle him when he's like this and yet he's the one on a whole different continent, but also what a twisted wreck of feelings it has to be to be the only one their father consistently remembers. like there HAS to be love in there, doesn't there? if i'm the one he remembers when he forgets everything else? i'm at least THAT important to him? i have to be, don't i? even if everything else is gone, i'm still in there. that HAS to mean something, doesn't it?

But I want the scene to mirror JJ being like "Did you hear Rozanov did not going to Nashville?" in season 1. To me, you can leave viewers wondering what happens to Ilya without resolving the plane emergency. So ideally to me he sends the (fuckin') Instagram messages to Shane and then it cuts to Shane without resolution. So my fantasy scene would open with JJ being like "[Quebecois swear] Ottawa's plane went down!" and Hayden is like wide-eyed trying to contain the situation and district the team because Shane is frozen in the dressing room, his bag hanging from his hand, and Hayden is like "give me that" and grabs JJ's phone, scanning the headline and news story and is like "They're just reporting trouble with their plane, there's nothing else reported at the moment" and Shane turns on his heel with his phone already at his ear and some guy is like "Wait Hollander probably has Rozanov's number for that charity thing, someone tell him to call him!" but Shane is already gone, locking himself in a staff bathroom down the hall and when the door clicks shut a seemingly never-ending loop of "Hi this is Ilya I will never listen to your voicemail" begins and Shane is breathing heavy and huffing and kind of groaning under his breath and leaning on the wall and the swinging doors of the bathroom stalls and at first he just hangs up and tries again but then he starts leaving voicemails:

"Pick up, fucking pick up you asshole I know you're okay. I know you're okay you just have to pick up."

"Ilya. I love you, baby. Just answer, okay?"

"Ilya. I have ideas, I don't want to hide forever, you know that right? I told you that right? I don't want you to die thinking this was it for us. Oh my god, fuck—" retching heard over the line

"I keep refreshing this fuckingheadline but there's fucking nothing. How long does it take for a plane to crash and for people to hear about it? God I can't fucking believe this. I can't fucking believe you did this to me."

And then when he hangs up the last time he sees the notifications in the muted set from when he had his phone on Do Not Disturb during his game, weird Instagram notifications that he doesn't recognize because he never uses the messaging function. The messages are from Ilya's account. Through tears, Shane only sees—

Safe in your heart

Before completely breaking down, a hard sob breaking from his throat as the phone screen goes dark in his hand. A few beats pass, I'm thinking no music, just the air sucked out of the room, but then Shane's phone starts vibrating, lighting up with a call. Ilya's name is flashing across the screen. Shane scrambles to answer, a thick, distraught:

"Ilya."

answered with a fond, relieved:

"Shane. I'm okay."

“Nineteen,” Ilya said at the same time Shane said, “Eighteen.”

Ilya shot him a curious look. “We were nineteen the first time we—”

“Oh,” Shane said. “I thought the question was the first time we felt, um, sparks.” His ears were bright red and Ilya wanted to bite them.