Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

angry rn because biden will NEVER have lines like this

i think about this fucking constantly lmaooo

call that a pussy pop 🙌

A tall, thin blonde person of indeterminate gender was watching me. They were very tall, dressed like David Bowie and had a German accent. They took a big drag of their cigarette and said, “You know, the problem with you humans is you give away every part of your self until there is nothing left.” I looked down at my body, and my entire torso had been hollowed out. Everything inside had been replaced with black and silver machines. They blew out a big cloud of cigarette smoke and told me, “Just because you exist by accident doesn’t make it any less meaningful.”

Whatever the fuck this dream got going on… it helped me

Its weird for me to think that dolphins existed at the same time as queens and knights and shit like that. I feel like dolphins were invented in the 80s by crystal shops to sell porcelain statues to divorced women

@3isoptrophobia

grandma diabetes’s shit the bed breakfast cylinder

 :(

[video id: The Jurassic Park theme plays throughout the video. A man walks out onto his back porch dressed in a camo jacket and camo fishing pants. He is wearing a camo umbrella hat which has several small hummingbird feeders dangling on it that reach just below his chin. He stands still as a single hummingbird investigates the feeders, it shows a closeup of the hummingbird, and then it takes a sip from one of the feeders. As it flies away we see the man’s face closeup and he looks immensely pleased and amazed. End video id]

The exact opposite of an Australian swooping season hat

vodka also releases flavors in me that are normally inaccessible