there's a head attached to my neck and I'm IN it @oregaymi - Tumblr Blog

me: ok ok sorry, i promise i'll stop coming up with weird euphemisms for hitting the weed pen

me 5 minutes later: yall mind if i go ruin christmas?

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animentality

opossum-mypossum

reefsharkivist

go back to sleep puppy *holds chlorophyll over your face*

eategg24

haha yay! *starts making sugars*

throo

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

throo

We could have been eating him

dogpuppy

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eclecticopposition

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

#the first time I tried tequila I immediately threw up in my mouth #so probably that #I've mistakenly drunk from a beer bottle people were putting cigarette ashes in #that was bad but somehow not worse than the tequila #emetophobia

stjohnstarling

Teratophiliacs were once a niche group that bonded over their sexual attraction to monsters in obscure forums. Now—as online communities pro

Okay guys, we’ve got to wrap it up now with the monsterfucking and find something new to do. It’s getting write-ups in GQ, it’s so over.

stjohnstarling

Sometimes, in their obsession with monsters, humans end up finding other humans. In 2019, Cachét developed a crush on Salad Fingers, the main character in a British cult web cartoon. She drew porn of Salad Fingers and sent it to David Firth, the show’s creator. Firth loved it and followed her back. “He thought I was a guy because no girl would draw porn of Salad Fingers,” Cachét says.

They started messaging. Cachét complimented his drawing of a human-bug threesome and asked for a print. Three years later, Cachét and David got married. The human-bug threesome drawing hangs on the wall of their home.

Okay this does kind of rule though.

dreamlogic

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

fairycosmos

did you know that apparently if you try to act normal the normalness doesn't come through but the acting does. and did you know apparently everyone can smell this on you like a bloodhound

dragongirlsweetie

it's actually so crazy how much the simpsons would fucking suck if it didn't have any of the simpsons characters. just a bunch of shots of empty houses and streets for half an hour while nothing happens. that would be so badddd lol

auroroboros1

yeah that tends to happen when you remove characters from media. without characters its all just background. i guess movies set in scenic locations would still land as kinda nature docs but even then

dragongirlsweetie

it only happens with the simpsons

auroroboros1

this same criticism could be applied to nearly any media ever.

dragongirlsweetie

it's just the simpsons. are you a troll?

derinthescarletpescatarian

Dragon's right, if you remove all the Simpsons characters from Death Note it hardly changes anything

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chaoticneutralwife

*mumbling and grumbling* maybe i wanted to win stupid prizes *kicks dirt*

u/differentlifer

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

lakevida

just saw someone say they were "hyperfixated" on cooking with seasonal squash i love that nothing means anything

goofstep

i’m seriously traumadumping pepper all over these boiled eggs

junglejim4322

I’m gaslighting my stove

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fxlthyangxl-deactivated20240122

penny-anna

what the hell is going on

penny-anna

i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.

penny-anna

Please god it would be so funny

penny-anna

there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.

penny-anna

for people out of the loop:

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

butterflyslinky

So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?

penny-anna

I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.

Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.

penny-anna

The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.

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there's a head attached to my neck and I'm IN it