BRUH MY GENDER-

the following events ensued:

1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?

2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes

3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes

4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke

5. this absolute masterpiece:

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

I’ve been compiling a smutwordlist and other handy tools, so I thought I’d share them in case they’re useful for other smutwriters💜

Tumblr resources:

The Smut Writer’s Dictionary by @maybeeatspaghetti

Smut Thesaurus [18+/NSFW] by @prurientpuddlejumper

smut guide by @iguessweallcrazyithinktho

A list of terms for smut by @thebleedtheory

Writing Smut 101: Overcoming Smut Shame by @slightlyrebelliouswriter23

🌈Is it okay for a straight writer to write smut for lgbtqia characters? Anonymous question answered by @thatspookyagent 🌈

🌈Gender Identity Resource List by @pocunion 🌈

🟡🟤⚫️Praising Beauty Without Fetishizing PoC Anonymous question answered by @writingwithcolor 🟡🟤⚫️

🟡🟤⚫️The skin tone guide part 1 by @writingwithcolor🟡🟤⚫️

🟡🟤⚫️The skin tone guide part 2 by @writingwithcolor🟡🟤⚫️

AO3 guides:

The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic by QuinnAnderson

The Fic Writer's Guide to Formatting by AnisaAnisa

The Fic Writer's Guide to Writing by AnisaAnisa

External articles/glossaries:

The Sexy Thesaurus 1

The Sexy Thesaurus 2

The Sexy Thesaurus 3

BDSM glossary

Dictionary of Sexual Terms

How to Write Smut

Here’s Your Everything-to-Know Guide on Erogenous Zones

🌈Gay Foreplay 101🌈

🌈Bottoming 101 🌈

🌈Gay Sex 101: A Comprehensive List of Queer Erotic Terms and Their Definitions🌈

🌈How to Write LGBT+ Characters🌈

TW->Thoughts on the Depiction of Rape in Fiction<-TW

Funny/Lighthearted:

70 Weird and Wacky Words for Vagina

A Definitive Ranking of 30 weird (And Funny) Words for Penis

If you have any recommendations please comment so I can include them!💜🤭

Also, please let me know if any of the sources I use are outdated, not working or problematic in any way so I can remove them or replace them💜

Last updated: October 2025

unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!

(warning: loud chirping throughout)

Shows you how much you know

I know several trans men who can piss standing up without meta or phallo. I've seen it for myself quite a few times now actually.

Step 2: feet shoulder width apart (if at toilet have shins/knees touching or right in front of bowl) with pants down far enough to allow that (down to knees for me)

Step 3: hook fingers on either side of tdick and pull back to the sides

Step 4: jut hips out forward a bit but not too far, kinda aim urethra with your fingers (hard to explain sry)

Step 5: piss. Adjust aim if necessary.