Oh, I'm you, sweetie. Just give it some time.

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

need a polite way to say "im not engaging in a discussion on this topic with you because the conclusions you have reached are based on so many interwoven layers of misconceptions it would be easier to just like, hard reset your whole brain, just start over as a baby and try again"

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

@saunter-vaguely-into-the-shadows

the joker for white men is the joker. the joker for white women is lana del rey. who is the white non-binary joker?

loki from marvel

this pride month we’re all going to be radically pro transgender. or else.

hey so this means radically pro ALL transgender. don’t put limitations on this. all trans people are radically accepted here.

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

plz choke me. either in a sexual way or lethal way. I’m not picky

Someone being patient with you on your bad days is one of the softest forms of love

I love browsing cover-up tattoo stuff when every once in a while there's someone asking "how do I cover up this unspeakably idiotic thing" and people are like "please do not cover that up, that's fucking amazing." You just have "shrimps is bugs" written on your leg now. That's your legacy.

Have you seen that one weasel tattoo that someone was asking coverup advice for? One of the best tattoos I've seen.

It's so fucking beautiful I'm in tears. Laughing so hard I'm crying but what difference is that really.