God's favourite psyop

I struggled writing poems back in school. For Shakespeare's style of sonnets, I'd add extra beats. Or worse, I'd fail to meet iambic rules. Or I wouldn't even try, I'd just cheat. My teacher tried to help me to improve, but make word grammar right no easy time. She told me that to make the couplets smooth, for every other line to have a match. I threw in bigger words I didn't know, which catalyzed it arduous to parse. My difficulty spelling always shows, so when I write just know that it's a farse. It doesn't help I'm fucking up the tone, by writing fics where Kermit and I bone

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

Random stinging pain in my neck 👀

atacked by my #MindWasp

Can you put those things on a leash please

Yeah. a really Long one so they can still get u tho

My reflexes are unparalleled. I'll punch myself in the balls so fast after fumbling something I was carrying, you have no idea. Practically a blur, too fast for the eye to see. Drop my pen, WHAM! straight to the balls. I'm incredible.

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

"I'm at least 50% man on my father's side"

Why is a giant thumb running in an election against Binface?

Someone should just sew the missing part of the giant bright blue child's mitten over the thumb, so he will not be so angry about being a thumb.

He looks angry. I guess thumb's down.

Pulitzer Prize type shit

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

Schools of philosophy need cooler names. It shouldn't be called structuralism it should be called some shit like the path of the ancient bronze spider.

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought