Meat Beaters Anonymous

I feel bad when I watch Alice in Wonderland because this poor little girl is lost and this rude ass atheist caterpillar keeps vaping in her face… poor kid

literally no one knows how to be fans of musicians in a respectful, non-intrusive way anymore, except for my mutuals, who are trying to convince 82 year old bob dylan that he is nonbinary

wikipedia editors are like if redditors were monks

welcome to my new app, UberFeats. i will send heroes to your house to commit great Feats of strength and cunning

Will they do my dishes?

they will Slay your dishes

What about the laundry?

they will Slay your laundry

what about the minotaur harassing my cows

they will Have Sex with the minotaur

“I ain’t reading all that” your brain is rotting and shrinking

i've read enough

[deeply concerned] whose pussy is this?

realistic coworker conversation