THE MERCY KILL THAT CAN'T BE DROWNED

Let the historical record show that Mr. Beast was entirely ignorable if you were just like doing literally anything else. I've been on youtube as long as it's been around and I've never been recommended a video by him. I see him in passing as a meme. I thought he was a made up joke, a caricature of bad youtuber content miners until someone I trust confirmed his existence to me in late 2025.

God forbid you ask a pharmacy to fill a prescription

That weirdo billionaire obsessed with stopping his aging/taking his son's blood to stay young has, as far as I can tell, taken a hero dose of shrooms that led him to fall in love with one of his employees(?) and is now attempting to use his wealth to find a cure for her endometriosis? Which like, sure

Some is better than none. Some is better than none. Some is better than none. Walking for three minutes, is better than nothing. Drinking a glass of water and eating a snack, is better than nothing. Wiping down the counter, is better than nothing. Small things are not nothing. Small things are not nothing. Small things are not nothing. You don’t have to achieve grand things if all you’re capable of right now is the smaller things. They are still achievements. Don’t do nothing just because you don’t think you’re capable of doing bigger things, just do something you’re capable of today. 

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

I can't watch a television show until a demon possesses me and compels me to do it

Only 4% of us, huh? I guess I'm pretty elite