Unexpected Arachnids

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

the biggest spider in north america just sent you a friend request on steam

Expressing the virtues of Humility and Reciprocity by dressing in cloth-of-gold and running over peasants with my sleek and shining horse who has its own personal manservant

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

Yeah this is my wet hay perfume. this one’s my wet forest soil one, but then this other one is just plain wet soil. This one’s rotten citrus wet soil. That’s my fresh tennis ball one. Ohh and that one is supposed to represent the horrors of war lol

I hate when I drink all of my drink and there's no drink left. What the fuckkkkkkk. #sickandtwisted

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

*walking into the morgue to find body parts scattered across the floor* oh my god who closed last night

THATS MY BESTIE!! Ery is amazing and i can 100% vouch for them/their services! They were a long time user on here before the fucking cops (tumblr admin) nuked their account in the Black blogger purge. Definitely reach out to Ery if you need help!!

they're mine

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)