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thjis was a fucking nightmare to edit please enjoy
Why "doing something relaxingâ does not help your anxiety
A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing ârelaxingâ things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.
This advice is always well-intentioned, and Iâm not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way. Â
THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a ârelaxingâ thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing thatâs bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.
You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust meâitâs a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You canât physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind.Â
People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.
In fact, you could say thatâs what anxiety isâhyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or theyâll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture.Â
Therefore, I present to you:Â
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS
âGo on a walk
âWatch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.
âGo anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching
âDraw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind
âDo yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally driftÂ
âDo literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:
âDo a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.
âWrite something. It doesnât have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when youâre done. Itâs not for publication, itâs a relief exercise that only you will see.Â
âRead something, watch TV, or watch a movieâas long as itâs engrossing. Donât watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in.Â
âMasturbate. Yes, Iâm serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie itâs running. It canât run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (âŚI hope. If it can, thenâŚignore this one.)Â
âDo math problemsâliterally, google âalgebra problems worksheetâ and solve them. If you havenât done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I donât mean with math, I mean with the anxiety.Â
âPlay a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel.Â
âPlay a video game, as long as itâs not something like candy crush or Tetris thatâs mindless.Â
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:
âList the capitals of all the U.S. states
âList the capitals of all the European countries
âList all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors.Â
âList all the blonde celebrities you can think of.
âPull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever. Â
Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  Iâve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too.Â
(Now this shouldnât have to be said but if the âdo notsâ work for you then by all means do them. Theyâve just never worked for me.)
This wouldâve been great an hour ago
This is good advice for anxious peeps and peeps with anxious friends. Seems obvious now but I hadnât thought about it this way before.
@spanish speakers te amo feels weird to say??????
TE AMO! IS TOO! INTIMATE!! maybe if you say it quickly and in a jokey way its ok but in a serious talk??? it feels too much!!!!!!!
âi love youâ is NOTHING compared to te amo. i love you feels like a kiss on the check and te amo feels like fucking marriage.Â
#I have like a whole thing on saying te amo to anyone
YEA. i had a relationship with someone and she dropped the âte amoâ super quicky and i was likeâŚâŚâŚâŚâthats ok, thank you, but im gonna be honest w youâŚ.iâm not saying te amo until i really feel itâ thats how serious it is.Â
te amo IS very serious, very deep, very intimate. when you want to tell someone that you love them without it being massive, the term you want is te quiero
cant believe no one had contributed this
Accuarte AF.
âTe quieroâ is the best alternative so we all do not succumb into a âte amoâ anxiety.
Since weâre including other languages, any tips for Japanese learners?
Your friendly neighborhood bilingual here to help you out @just-fic-me-up
So idk if you can read hiragana so Iâll just use English letters. There are 4 ways to say you care about somebody in Japanese with increasing degrees of intimacy. Suki is like âI like sushiâ type loose feeling. Also used for crushes or âIâd like to ask that person out.â Daisuki is literally âlike a lotâ and is used for âI love sushiâ or âI really like this personâ but tends to get translated as âI love youâ which is pretty correct. Couples use it for each other
Next up is aishiteru and thatâs. Hoo. Boy howdy. Thatâs te amo levels of intimate. You say that like before you propose, when youâre married, etc. Itâs more like âIâm in love with youâ and itâs very special. You wonât ever hear this used outside of very private moments between irl couples. I havenât even seen it used in fiction honestly. And then thereâs the big dog
The K word as my wife and I call it. Heâs half Japanese and he has never said this to me despite us being literally married and we started dating my senior year of hs which was six and a half years ago. Iâve used this with him MAYBE thrice IF that often. Iâve never seen or heard it used literally ever is how special and intimate this phrase is. Not to totally and completely undersell this but itâs like a âonce in a lifetime, the only person who could ever hold my heartâ kind of intimate expression of love. Itâs whispered on your deathbed to your lover of 65 years special. Itâs koishiteru and you DO NOT use that word lightly if ever. It ties your soul directly to someone elseâs with just a few sounds
But those are the tiers in Japanese. Go forth my friend and wield your newfound knowledge wisely
Im realizing how limited english is with only one word to cover all of that. No wonder its such an awkward language for translations!
Writing Relevant Reblog.

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Photographers that turn common photos into spectacular images..!!
talent. real talent.
Ahhhh yes thatâs the good stuff
Everyoneâs like âthose Germans have a word for everythingâ but English has a word for tricking someone into watching the music video for Rick Astleyâs Never Gonna Give You Up.
English has a lot more words created for very specific phenomena! Itâs not just rick-rolling. Language is always evolving and itâs super interesting! Hereâs a list of hyper-specific/untranslatable words in English.
Some of these are fucking wild.
I hate all of you
If you would report an undocumented immigrant to ICE you would have reported me to the Nazis and I donât fucking trust you
A note:
I live in a state where you âhave toâ report anyone you suspect of being undocumented (that wonderful hellhole of Arizona). Now in practice this law has fallen far short, thank goodness. But if you live in such a place and they start enforcing it, here is how you get around it:
Assume everyone who doesnât speak English is visiting.
Never ask about their job, because if they tell you they work here then you know theyâre not visiting. You see them a lot for several weeks or months? Hm. Someone in the family must be ill. Thatâs terribly tough. They always dress in old, ratty laborersâ clothes? I feel you, my dude, I canât afford new clothes either, and my dad has the fashion sense of an aardvark, so sometimes itâs not even about âaffordingâ them. They say theyâve been here for years? You must have misunderstood. Spanish isnât your first language, after all. First and last name? It never came up, or you donât recallâyou meet a lot of people.
And then, if youâre asked: no, you havenât seen anyone residing illegally in the United States. Just people visiting.
Very good very important addition
Essentially, this is the civil society version of a work-to-rule strike.
Donât do more than is expressly asked of you, and do what you are asked with such an intense attention to protocol that not asking you at all becomes more effective than even bothering.
In this case:
âHave you seen an illegal immigrant?â
âCould you describe an illegal immigrant, officer?â
*officer describes a person who is in the country without appropriate paperwork, or who has crossed the border illegally*
âNo, sir, I havenât seen any illegal immigrant.â
And this is correct. You have NOT seen an illegal immigrant, because you have no way of knowing if Jose Fulano is here legally or not. And since you canât see his paperwork (or lack thereof), and did not personally see him cross the border illegally, you are only answering precisely the question asked.
Iâm not American, and I have like, three followers, but this is important.
So, Iâm a lawyer, who deals with immigration though does not specialize in it. But hereâs the thing(s):Â
1) Even someone whoâs working could be here on a migrant (or other sort of) visa (hey, there are a few thousand per year, and *someone*âs got to get them, right?) or could be waiting for their case to resolve in immigration court, after having come to America to join a born or naturalized American family member.Â
2) Even people who are working improperly could have come into the country legally â and just overstayed their visa or be violating the conditions of their visa, and you have no idea what the niggly little regulations that govern that might be.Â
3) If a law enforcement officer asks you about a neighbor/friend/etc., take this moment to remind them that, unlike them, you cannot ask a random person off the street for their ID and be entitled to a response.Â
4) Even if someone has told you that they are undocumented, you still donât know, do you? Humans lie all the time. How could you know for sure? You canât, because they canât prove that they have a lack of papers. Just because you havenât seen papers doesnât mean they donât exist!Â
5) Donât ever talk to cops in general. Why are you talking to a cop? Stop that, as soon as it is safe and feasible.Â
Love,
a very tired public defender

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what is it about a retail uniform that makes boomers lose all empathy or critical thinking
i was grabbing something to eat at whole foods and one woman started shouting âexcuse me?! excuse me?!â and I ignored her cause I donât know her. She then came up to me and grabbed my arm and went âI was calling you! Can you help me find something?â and I was likeâŚ.I donât work here? And she rolled her eyes and went âWell can you find me someone who DOES?â and when I said âNo, sorryâ she got all huffy. likeâŚ..bitch I donât work here and Iâm not on the clock. I need to eat.
 Once when I was in Target with my mom this woman tapped me on the shoulder and goes âdo you work here? where can I find the baby section?â. The target dress code is a red shirt, khakis, non-slip shoes, and a name-tag. My mom and I were wearing none of these; I didnât even own a red shirt at the time.
I just said, âwe donât work here??â She got mad and was like âAre you sure?â so I went âAre you stupid..?â and carried on shopping
Iâd like to think its less the uniform and more the fact that baby boomers simply just lack empathy and critical thinking as a whole like that wasnât the first time an older person has asked me for help assuming I work there when Iâm wearing nothing close to the uniform and am minding my own business shopping and it certainly hasnât and wonât be the last
this happened to me in best buy. nothing i was wearing resembled their uniforms, and i was very clearly shopping, testing out different laptops and shit.
this lady came up to me and asked what tvâs were the best (which like, you couldnât ask someone in that department in the first place ? i was on the other side of the store ?), to which i explained that i donât work at best buy. she got really pissy and kept demanding i help her and i was like i ? donât ? work ? here ? i ? donât ? know ?
she threatened to get âmyâ manager to which i had no response because again, i donât work there. theyâre not my managers. i just kinda said âokayâŚ?â, and she really went and found a manager and brought him over to where i was just tryna find a laptop.
she starts telling him what happened, and he was like âma'am,,, this kid doesnât work here. heâs not one of our employees.â
she claimed that i should have helped her anyways, and that sheâd be giving their store âa very bad reviewâ
like what the fuck was that shit
OK but if you donât think that our generation is gonna be doing exactly the same thing once certain people hit 40, you havenât been paying attention, we already went from âletâs be compassionate to the kids growing upâ to âthe next kid who mentions Fortnite in front of me gets punchedâ. Itâs not just boomers itâs people who are old enough to feel entitled to special treatment.
Someone finally said it
For real, letâs not be those people please.
When a customer says some Weird Shit in the middle of check-out,
Okay, so very recently, I was cashiering for Publix, and it was late at night, and I actually didnât wanna be there, go figure. So this woman walks up, buying about 15-20 items, which is a pretty clean run for me, so Iâm scanning her groceries, and we carry a small conversation.
During this conversation, she asks me if Iâm in school, and I say yes. I tell her about how exams went, as they were near that period, and told her I had a Biology exam that was over genetics. And she looks me straight in the eyes, with seriousness of a heart attack being read in every wrinkle of her white soccer mom face, and says:Â âOh, Iâm a Christian, I donât believe in genetics.â
Flabbergasted. My eyes do that spinny rainbow thing that Apple computers do when theyre buffering. A second goes by. Iâve gone through all stages of grief at this point, but havenât reached acceptance. I have to say something, I have to say SOMETHING. If I just stare at her through this, sheâll know I think sheâs fucking dumb and she might get angry, and I donât need that. Two seconds have gone by. I have stopped scanning groceries at this point, and am just being violently shot back and forth between two sections of the galaxy. I can feel my body taking leave of my soul. Three seconds. I have to say something.Â
âAnyway, I did well on my accounting exam, so thatâs something. Do you have any coupons?â
The only problem with building a home in the desert is how often Enderman try to aggressively offer you sand.Â
Heâs nervous
just let him take his time
We are exactly in the middle of 6/9/1969 and 6/9/2069
THIS ONLY WORKS TODAY

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Debate time: Top 3 1) Standard (extra crispy) 2) Waffle Fires 3) Home Fries
I agree 100 percent with this
There is more sky below you than above you at all times
Waiting for the reblog to explain the science of this.
I believe they just mean this
Unless you assume the universe is infinite in which case this is really null and void (haha)
Unless you assume the sky to be only directly around the earth, in which case it becomes valid again