he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
EXPECTATIONS
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Andulka

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@umbrakinetix

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my grub #mygrub
Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.
The UK gets a new prime minister just whenever. Completely random intervals
It may seem random but itâs actually not! We get a new prime minister after the previous one enters a protective chrysalis after a period of relentless eating and growing, and they then dissolve into a biological soup. They then reform into the new adult prime minister. It really beautiful to see đ„°
Almost 4 1/2 yrs. on the market, and still no one wants this 2002 house in Ashland, OR. 2bds, 4ba, 11,084sqft, $4.5m down from $8.235k.

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old man, sing your part!
Megatron looks so done đ€Ł
new intel reveals shocking news about communications officer Soundwave and his cat
im gonna shit
The prophet⊠he tried to warn us. He told us it was too much power, and yet we all laughed. We made a joke of him.
Moreos Guy, if youâre out there, I would like to personally apologize for not heeding your warning to us.
Canât fathom how Iâve been on this site so goddamn long that thereâs a whole new generation of people on here that donât know who Moreos Guy was.
Thinking about uncle Obi đ
Luke âthereâs still good in youâ Skywalker is 100% Padme âthereâs good in himâ Amidalaâs son, and Leia âI recognised your foul stench when I was brought on boardâ Organa is a mirror image of Anakin âGeneral Grievous, youâre shorter than I expectedâ Skywalker

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she rolled.
no sburb beta earth au where dave "microcelebrity" strider suddenly gains a big following on the internet after a spike of people discover his sbahj comics online when a screenshot of one goes particularly viral and turns into a [top text/bottom text] meme and some hipsters are like "woah,, this is actually some really avant garde stuff". when he's churning these out sitting in the bathroom stall at school once a day during lunch period. so then he gets REALLY popular and then inevitably gets cancelled at some point when a communications/poli sci major reads one of his comics and then types up a whole memo board explaining how sbahj is actually neo-conservative propaganda written as part of a conspiracy to undermine the 2008 obama presidency. and there's a whole rage war since the memo board was written really convincingly with red arrows and circles drawn around sweet bro's head and everything and dave hasn't made any public statements about it and also no one actually understands what sbahj is about. so threads are being written up about this and people are like emailing death threats to each other over it and someone even tries to doxx him and then manages to find out he lives in texas and some people start actually taking the whole thing seriously because He's From Texas (never mind the fact it's houston). meanwhile dave just started his midterms and he has to focus because he actually cares about school and his future and so he takes a short "hiatus" which people freak out even more over because they take it as him backing away due to the allegations online. and then after winter break dave comes back and opens up a q&a for his 169th "bro wee ar doign it wee ar making it hapen" special and at some point after a barrage of questions in his inbox (q: was "swety bro and hela jeff crassh on the freway" inspired by a real car accident you were in? a: i don't own a car / q: what job do you have in real life? a: unemployed but i pick up roadkill off the street sometimes / q: who did you vote for in the 2008 primaries a: i didn't) someone finally has the bright idea to ask "hey how old are you" and he replies "i'm 13" and all hell breaks loose.
He doesnât even know, and he doesnât want to.
I don't go here but I feel like "It's a metaphor. Don't force it to do the work of a fact." is a great statement about literature and fan-content in general.
they killed him for this
all movies are for children because the moving image is inherently juvenile. to be entertained by it even moreso
Random tumblr blog roleplays as a philosopher. Shocks the masses by using big words just to say they think theyre better than you because you watch movies. WHHAAAAT?
thats right
the biggest word in this post is âentertainedâ
Anyway photography, silent films, and âtalkiesâ (moving pictures with sound) were all invented and made by adults and mostly for adults as the audience
last time i checked its basically just Boss Baby out there. not entertaining to a high-earning professional. heâs not even actually the boss heâs a baby
you forgot kung fu panda

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if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!
Dumbest shit ever just happened to-- it didn't happen to me, I shouldn't be using passive language here. I just did the dumbest shit ever
1. Light candle
2. Realize you forgot to smell the candle beforehand to see if you'll like it
3. Bring lit candle directly to your nose to smell it
4.