My horny ass could never be a mechanical engineer
Really funny post to come across after dropping out. Damn. My horny ass couldn’t be a mechanical engineer
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@twomothsholdinghands
My horny ass could never be a mechanical engineer
Really funny post to come across after dropping out. Damn. My horny ass couldn’t be a mechanical engineer

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Finally meeting someone that jacks off to the same shit as you
there is a stripper pole in my attic. i saw it in a dumpster one day, and i went, shit, this is exactly the kind of thing my wife would want. and i didnt really want it in the house, what with it being a used stripper pole lightly seasoned with dumpster juice, but i mentally decided that if she were to see it and ask for it, i would say she could have it, and then sure enough, later that evening, she went soooo baaaaaaaabs there's this thing by the dumpster and i want it but i get it if you don't want it in the house but i have to show it to you- and i went, no you dont, you can have the pole, and that was the most surprised i have ever made her look. even compared to the day when i proposed to her, which she was prepared enough that we both knew she would say yes, and she could also get her hair done up and have a cute outfit, but not so prepared that she was not fucking flabbergasted by the 12 empty decoy ringboxes i sprung on her. i handed her so many decoy ring boxes that day. still one of the funniest things i've ever done to her.
anyway we like pacing around together and ranting in the attic but sometimes instead of pacing one of us will just hang on the pole and spin, and the other person will watch on the beanbag, which makes for these really goofy conversations where the person on the bag will say something that gets the other persons goat, such as, hypothetically, that xylophones do not belong in rock music, and then the other person will go on a tirade about this, but they'll actually only be facing the Hot Take Speaker half of the time, what because of the pole, so the response will sound something like
I can't believe
you would even suggest such
a stupid opinion. You've
been to a Danny Elfman
concert! How can you
have heard Oingo Boingo
live and say with a straight face
that they alone do not justify
rock and roll xylophones
and then that person will continue until they get too dizzy, then they'll get off the pole, and by unspoken agreement, the person on the bag will get up and trade places with them to deliver their rebuttal while also spinning and it just creates this sort of crazy strip-court lawyers debating absolute nonsense for no reason kind of vibe that frankly just really does it for us.
i don't really have any marriage advice for this i guess its just a look at what being married can look like. i thought that being married would involve a lot more stuff like carving the turkey, or barbecuing, or watching the sunset, and if id known how much time it would involve arguing for xylphones in rock music while spinning upside down i might have prepared for it a little differently.
When you make a reference and someone actually gets it
must feel good af to be a 1920s dandy calling your gay lover "old thing"
must feel good af to be a victorian dandy calling your gay lover "my dear man"

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my bedsheet is pregnant and it's. the rest of my laundry
every time i see steven universe discourse i think “what if people were this intensely analytical about My Gym Partners a Monkey”
my url is better than yours
youre my shadow self and i need to kill you
there is a moment between jumping from the frying pan into the fire that feels a lot like liberation
the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
lmao bruh

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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full screen, no description or any words on the ad whatsoever.
So what? Are you too good to see Oprah's Device?
I can't believe Candles of Vienna caved to commercial pressure and added the Goku expansion.
Types of Board Game [Explained]
Transcript Under the Cut
#I am reminded of the war games following specific battles that can be argued to be real time strategy board games #not because all the pieces move at once; but because the game takes roughly as long to play as the actual battle took (via @faolonfiendrender)
dude op must have eaten some pancakes with syrup and fresh berries before posting this
News : puppies is been renamed to "Dog Larvae". Everyone is happy aboit this.

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the brothers Area
Kelp gull (Larus dominicanus)