cunt central

it's crazy when couples & friends & whatnot refer to themselves as "a packaged eel". like wow you two are so close that you are fusing into a long slimy fuck... & theyre putting you in a box......

fuuuuck i forgot to give a shit about stupid bullshit that doesnt matter 🤦‍♀️

I mean this kindly, but some of you might need to broaden your horizons a little. I don't even mean "touch grass" i mean "try visiting websites that aren't social media or about fanfiction." I think...I think your enclosure might be too small.

Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*

to be honest i do have beef with some microbes

shoulda cooked it longer that gets rid ofem

TOOLTIP: you can get more funny juice by performing the "jerking off" activity. find it by selecting genitals from your inventory!

> use genitals

You can't use that right now!

> use hand on genitals

You can't use that right now!

> use genitals on hand

You can't use that right now!

> help

man fuck this game

Dead wife but it's a flashback to an amazing sandwich you had 3 years ago

nice outfit LOSER. 1443 called but in a dialect of Early Modern English that hadn't experienced the Great Vowel Shift yet so i don't know what it said

coach put me in. not to make anything better but just change the situation a little bit

"don't mass reblog/like :/" coward. fool. somebody just went through and liked and reblogged 64 things from my blog in the span of half an hour at most. and i've never felt more alive in my life

Sometimes I log in and someone's found my entire [fandom] tag and it's a good day.

The most intuitive, most versatile, most adaptive, and greatest artists of our time are using their skills to create discomforting, high-concept abstractions of analog horror characters and Pack Of 500 Cigarettes in Tomodachi Life