TrivialQueen's Fanfiction

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

[Image ID: Headline from IFLScience reading: "You Wouldn't Steal a Movie" Advert May Have Led To More People Stealing Movies /End ID]

Fun fact! Both the music and the font in that ad were incorrectly sourced and did not provide compensation to the creators

less fun fact: the temptation to perform the forbidden action is the sole reason that tobacco companies fund anti-smoking/vaping PSAs

“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be free” men CAN get pregnant and they’re treated worse than women who can get pregnant

oh folks really don't like being asked to consider trans men

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

the circus is empty, all of the monkeys are here

the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product

the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)

reeling a little at the implication that the Kraft Single was a product of operation paperclip

do not go gentle into that good night

be a bit of a bitch about it

The pilot -> astronaut pipeline makes complete sense but is also funny to me. There's a secret second sky and if you get good enough at doing sky you can do space.

morning hot coffee and afternoon iced coffee are two separate entities. morning hot coffee is your state sanctioned substance abuse to get low level drugs in your body. afternoon iced coffee is a sweet treat that has no impact on your physical body but will boost morale. you can have 8 thousand iced coffees and it will never negatively effect you

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit