TrivialQueen's Fanfiction

the circus is empty, all of the monkeys are here

the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product

the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)

reeling a little at the implication that the Kraft Single was a product of operation paperclip

do not go gentle into that good night

be a bit of a bitch about it

The pilot -> astronaut pipeline makes complete sense but is also funny to me. There's a secret second sky and if you get good enough at doing sky you can do space.

morning hot coffee and afternoon iced coffee are two separate entities. morning hot coffee is your state sanctioned substance abuse to get low level drugs in your body. afternoon iced coffee is a sweet treat that has no impact on your physical body but will boost morale. you can have 8 thousand iced coffees and it will never negatively effect you

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

The “draw” of AI doesn’t work on me for the same reason that the Ring couldn’t tempt Samwise. Because I LIKE to write. I like to make things, I like the process of making things, instead of just the end result.

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

ai could never outdo my beautiful perverted mutuals