EMILY ADAMA: Just a mentally ill bitch in her thirties. CURRENTLY WATCHING: Battlestar Galactica, The West Wing, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, The Newsroom
You literally wifed yourself via fanfiction??!!?! ICONIC SHOWSTOPPING INCREDIBLE ETC ETC!!
Back in 2013-2015 I wrote a metric fuckton of fanfiction for The Newsroom because I like one type of man and it's a middle aged petty bitch with therapist certified Daddy Issues and pathological self-denial. So my wife read my fic, liked it, and started following me on tumblr. We had vaguely known of each other before then, because we've both been in the same circles since joining tumblr and being active on tumblr as Sansa Stark fans in the dark ages that was season two of Game of Thrones. We didn't interact until 2014 and honestly probably didn't become mutuals until the next year and didn't really become friends until we had both long moved into The 100 fandom and were like, the two people aboard the Clarke/Roan dinghy in 2017. From there we started to become friends.
And honestly? It took us a really long time to become friends. There was no magical moment where we became insta-BFFs or where we knew the other person was going to eventually become the person we would fall into a natural orbit with. She had just moved to South Carolina, was broke, and was working on overcoming a lot of trauma. And I was broke in NYC, working on overcoming a lot of trauma, and going through drug and alcohol related struggles of my own. We weren't ready or capable of the kind of emotional intimacy and trust that we share now. We'd chat on the brand new tumblr messenger and occasionally she'd help me with a fic. Then in 2018, she came to BookCon in NYC and I missed being able to meet up with her because I was busy with a museum gala and didn't get the tumblr notifications for her messages letting me know she was coming to the city -- so I insisted we move our conversation to facebook messenger so I wouldn't miss a message from her ever again.
And, like the useless lesbians who had done a lot of therapy and DBT workbooks that we were, didn't realize we had both set our facebook settings so that only friends of friends could send us friend requests and just assumed the other person was holding the silent boundary that they didn't want to be friends on facebook. And we wanted to respect those absolutely not true boundaries.
But we talked. Constantly. All day. Still about fandom, mostly, and fanfiction, but real life started leaking in. I had stopped doing drugs but was still struggling with binge drinking. Her mom died when she was in college and had a brand new stepmom. We had some shared childhood traumas. Through the lens of fiction we talked about what kind of relationships we wanted for ourselves, if we wanted to be mothers, what kind of mothers we wanted to be. Our relationships with sex. Our relationships with food. Our definitions of the word "family." Our experiences with religion. Our careers. Our intentions for our lives. How we expressed and wanted to be loved. How we both felt we could never go home again. How we both know how it feels when calamity comes, and you know your life will never been the same again. I dragged her into professional wrestling. She dragged me into being a person capable of communicating her emotions and wants and needs. Her dog died. Another nephew I would never meet was born. Eventually we both realized we wanted to be facebook friends but were both desperately trying to respect the other person's boundaries.
By November 2018, we looked back and realized we had essentially been in a long distance relationship for six months. In May 2019, I moved down to South Carolina to be with her because I couldn't imagine putting myself on a plane back to LaGuardia ever again. We got legally married two weeks later due to fears that if one of us got hit by a bus, we wouldn't be able to visit each other in the hospital or make healthcare decisions. Neither of us could stomach letting my family run the show if I died.
We've known each other for almost ten years now. We've been together for almost four. Married since 2019 and are going to finally have a wedding this December after postponing it twice.
The fic that made her think I was the kind of person she could marry? Paterfamilias, written and posted in the fall of 2014 as I was getting a C-PTSD diagnosis after finally disclosing to a therapist the abuse I endured as a child.
And now she gets all the fic spoilers and to read everything I write long before everyone else does, which she assures me is the fic reader's dream. You can follow her at @echrai.
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Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people
I got an ask about unconscious bias and Robby's sexism that I won't post because it's way long, but I hear you, Anon, and I did have some thoughts. re: Taylor Dearden's point* about unintentional sexism and my point about the show unintentionally revealing the male EPs' unconscious bias, the question is, how is that possible when the writers' room is full of women? To which I would say: TV shows are not a democracy. They're not a commune. They are a dictatorship. Hopefully, a benevolent dictatorship, but the reality is that every woman in that room could object and it doesn't matter because Scott Gemmill can do whatever he wants. Even if the writers disagree, none of them will say so publicly because that is simply not done. It's the showrunner's show, period. (If anyone wants to learn more about how writers' rooms work, check out the Children of Tendu podcast. They talk a lot about the hierarchy.) But I'd also point out, well, women hold sexist views, too. We live under patriarchy, man. Sexism is so baked in that many people simply don't recognize it. It's 'obviously women are more nurturing' or 'of course men are better engineers.' A lot of people hold sexist beliefs and have simply never thought twice about them, women included. That's why it's called unconscious bias.
When I talk about the EPs' unconscious bias, I'm not talking about characters being sexist on screen. I'm mostly talking about bias in the storytelling framework of the show. I've said it before, but I find it telling that almost all of the women have stories related to their gender or their families and none of the men do. It's the choice of the stories themselves that reveals the problem. The male EPs in charge can choose to tell any story they want. The fact that they picked the ones they did, and that it fits a pattern, reveals a way of thinking about women and their stories. To be clear, I don't think the show or Robby are misogynistic; they don't fundamentally hate women. I think we're seeing good old-fashioned Gen X benevolent sexism. I'm gonna go into detail on the storytelling, which is long, so now I shall cut.
I want to start with a couple definitions for clarity's sake here. When I talk about plot, I mean the incidents that happen in the show. Story is how a character changes. So "Mr. Green's unknown AAA bursts and he dies" is plot. "After missing Mr. Green's AAA, Ogilvie doubts he's cut out for the ED" is story. One of the odd things about S2 is it failed to give all of its regulars season-long story arcs, which is considered poor TV writing. I think it might be a symptom of S2's shaky writing, but we'll have to see how S3 goes to make a full judgment on it.
If you look at S2, the men's stories are thus: after struggling with suicidal ideation, Robby realizes he still has things to see and people to love. After falling from grace, Langdon realizes he still has what it takes to be an ED doc. Whitaker doesn't really have a story, but if I were BSing it, I'd say it's that he comes into his own and realizes the ED is the place for him. (If you squint it's maybe that he learns to set a boundary with Langdon? But again, it's kinda BS. He doesn't have an emotional change over the season.) Abbot's not a regular, but hey, let's include him: when he realizes how much Robby is struggling, Abbot reveals his own vulnerability to save his friend's life.
What about the women's stories? After her mom's engagement, Mohan abandons her previous life plan and struggles to find a place she belongs, realizing it might not be the ED. Under relentless pressure from her parents, Javadi realizes emergency psychiatry is her passion. Mel learns that her sister is building a life that doesn't always involve her and realizes she must do the same. (Note that Mel's plot is overwhelmingly about the deposition that meant nothing, but her actual story is with her sister.) The catalysts or impediments to their stories are all family members. Quite different from the guys.
Santos is the real exception. Her story is that she confronts the superior who made her question herself and finds a new equilibrium. I would've liked the story where she struggles with self-harm only to find refuge in building a new friendship, but we can't actually say that from what we saw on screen. (All they had to do was show her putting the scalpel back! Sigh.)
I'd argue that our other returning regulars don't really have stories. Broadly, I'd say that McKay's plots deal with her acknowledging how the ED is negatively affecting her life (needs to get laid, can't cry), but she doesn't have an emotional change over the season, so it's not actually a story. Through the course of the season, she's sexually harassed in a way the show treats as cute and then is there to empathize with a dying mother and her children. Most of her material relates to female-coded things - sexual object, mothering, crying, etc. What's frustrating is it would've been so easy to give her an arc. Just show us one shot of her crying at the fireworks at the end. It would still be about a woman being all emotional, which is of course sexist in its own right, but it would've been something.
And then there's Dana. I said a while back that it felt like a final Dana scene in the finale was cut - because her story doesn't have an end, it just kind of stops; her last scene is giving the cops the rape kit, but it's not about an emotional change for her - so I was glad to have Noah confirm that at the terrible FYC panel. Whatever that scene was, I think it was a mistake to cut it because its absence left Dana without a story end. Broadly, her plotline was about taking a trainee under her wing and protecting her, which she does, but it doesn't change her emotionally. She struggled with her own mental health through the season, but that doesn't really have an end, either. I wish they had landed the mentorship story - Dana finds new purpose in being a nurse by seeing it through the eyes of a trainee - but even if they had, it's not treated as a professional mentorship story. It's the story of a mother nurturing and protecting a child. Abbot makes that explicit when he says, "You are the mama bear glue that holds this place together."
Mothers. Daughters. Sisters. Even objects of desire. That's how the show views women, broadly-speaking. Sure, men have relationships (flings, wives, Amys), but they're incidental, whereas the women's relationships are the lens through which the show sees them and the catalysts for their stories. That's what I mean when I say the male EPs' unconscious bias seeps in. I think the three old, privileged men in charge see women as relational, not as ends in themselves like men are.
Again, I wouldn't call this misogyny. It's not hatred of women. Hell, Noah made this explicit when talking about how Robby believes the women are better, so he's harder on them because he expects more. That is benevolent sexism right there.
Just to be clear, I don't think any of these stories are "wrong" or even that they shouldn't do any of them individually. I think most were written poorly, or didn't quite work, but I rather liked Javadi's. The problem is the totality. When all of your stories approach women a certain way, that shows a very limited view of what women are and can be. And it can unintentionally tap into harmful stereotypes of women, as I think it did in S2.
The big example of that is Mohan's story, which I think was bad on pretty much every axis and sexist in a harmful way. As I'm sure many know, there is an age-old stereotype that women are too emotional to hold important jobs. We see this every time a woman runs for president in the US, which is how it plays out on the grandest scale, but it's a still widely-held, harmful belief in everyday life. Historically, it's been an excuse to exclude women from certain jobs, the echoes of which still affect women today. So why The Pitt would choose to deploy this negative stereotype of women is utterly baffling to me.
To recap, Mohan's mom gets engaged and plans to go on a year-long cruise, which (inexplicably) upends Mohan's life, destabilizing her so much that she literally has a panic attack at work, the distraction of which makes her miss a diagnosis, causing a patient's entirely preventable death. To which I say...seriously? In 2026, they thought it was a good idea to show a woman panicking and getting a patient killed because of it...seriously??? Whatever the intention was, they have a responsibility as storytellers not to reinforce harmful negative stereotypes, so what the actual fuck, guys? Why was this story so important to tell that it trumps the reinforcement of what generations of professional women have fought to achieve? Yes, they gave Robby a panic attack in S1, but men don't have the same history of exclusion based on being too emotional; as soon as you give that story to a woman, it becomes a sexist stereotype because of the context. People can say it's just a story, but stories are how we understand the world, and these EPs have talked about the importance of their storytelling.
The sad thing is, if I had to guess, I'd bet it just...never occurred to them. Or if someone brought it up, they didn't think it was a big deal. And that is how unconscious bias and benevolent sexism lead to the reinforcement of harmful stereotypes that can have real effects on people's views. It's a shame and why I do think it matters.
To sum up, there are different ways to analyze sexism in a show. A lot of attention has been paid to X character treating Y character in Z way. That's certainly valid, but I think it's also important to look at it from a wider view of what stories the writers choose to tell and how those stories are approached. That's what I'm talking about when I talk about the EPs' unconscious bias creeping in.
*Just a note on the critique that Taylor has (apparently?) said she doesn't watch the show: I don't think that's relevant. She reads all the scripts, given that she has to act out the scenes, and then she's there when the show is filmed. She knows the show and her opinion is worthy of consideration.
TENEBRISM
rated e | part 2/3 | warnings: see archive tags
Something she learned in the one child development course she took before dropping out of Columbiaβs neuroscience program is that children need to be loved in order to grow up big and strong. Wellβitβs slightly more complicated than that. Children need love, yes, but more importantly they need to beΒ held.Β The earliest input the human nervous system receives is physical touch, and in turn, physical touch becomes the single most fundamental scaffold for human development.Β Β
So Titus isΒ probablyΒ crazy for a reason.
And so is she.
++
When Grace collapses at the altar due to catastrophic blood loss, Titus Danforth gets to survive his own wedding. A year out from the ceremony in the Black Temple, theyβre still finding new ways to put the fun in dysfunctional.
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Oh woah you made the gross misogynistic guy a fat bald sweaty man? Should we throw a party. Should we call everyone. Should we throw you into space with a cannon.
"This week I discovered the same pattern, executed by Google. Google Chrome is reaching into users' machines and writing a 4 GB on-device AI model file to disk without asking."
Google Chrome is downloading a 4 GB Gemini Nano model onto users' machines without consent, with no opt-in, no opt-out short of enterprise t
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