I'm Undercooked!

do you read dungeon meshi. have you read dungeon meshi. will you read dungeon meshi. when will you read dungeon meshi

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

got a folding fan and i think i might just be evil now

i can make violent gestures with it. i can flutter it in front of my face to hide a smile. i can fan myself during this fucking summer heat. god’s most beautiful invention and i can feel myself falling to the dark side

just killed a mosquito in one wicked strike. god will smite me for my hubris

he can infodump so deep inside me I'll have trivia running down my leg

Teeth weak as fuck why can't you be like bones

This is because teeth is skin more than it is bones

Your right but also please do not say it that way.

His dedication to the bit and thus conquering of the watermelon whilst staying in character yet obviously struggling. The satisfying ending. This is performance art at its peak.

apple blossomed trees / roots with the birds

the whole club was looking at worms

STRAIGHT UP ROTTED OENIS AND BALLS OVER HERE !!!!

FUCKING DISGUSTING DIRT DICK COCK AND BALLS TOY!!!

The divine right of kings but it's a curse

You will wear the crown, you have no choice, the spikes growing on your head have a metal sheen to them and coalesce into a mock halo. You will command, for your voice is a terrible thing, you are a terrible thing. You will be just, and you will be fair, for any grievances you cause to your people scar your body and leave lasting pain and false promises sizzle on your tongue like hot oil. Your god is watching and it won't forget what your ancestor did and it won't let you go

My physics professor just told the class the wildest story from when he was in grad school about building a high voltage unauthorized Tesla coil with the ability to kill a man

it is genuinely bewildering to me that adult human beings do not know this but if you are mean to people they will not like you. like tbh they are probably also not going to like you if you are mean to other people but they are definitely not going to like you if you are mean to them. it doesn’t matter if you are funny or if you can use r/aita rules to prove that you are in the right. people simply so not enjoy being treated like shit.

Man if I heard that shit while descending upon a strange land with my brethren I'd straight up dig a hole to die in right the and there, fuck the emperor fuck the gods that's a warning straight from the bones of an older evil and whatever is coming is worse than death

#sometimes I think about how simultaneously loud and quiet the earth must have been once.#quiet because all the ambient noises I associate with being alive haven't been invented yet; no cars#or train whistles or trash collection or joggers or kids on bikes#no radio. no muzak. no clocks or chiming or church bells.#but it also must have been in its own way very loud too; because of course nature surges to take its place#more bird calls and animal noises; more wind#but then again wouldn't that make this sound even more impressive? if the world is delicate and full of quieter sounds#and they all fall silent for a haunting bone-rattling tone that isn't coming from anything or anywhere you can identify.#it would be terrifying. it would beget terror.