professional fiend

I'm here for "The Most Powerfuck space time machine"

djahajjajw godfuckingdamnit

A windy day with a moderate temperature will make you feel like you got reborn into a world that really loves you this time

i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here’s what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back

someone should remake lord of the rings as a grandfather telling a fantasy story to his grand child with flashbacks to world war one showing the dead boys and men the characters were based on. grandpa why didn’t they just fly. because they didn’t. they didn’t.

…oh.

scientists have discovered an organism which they believe to have the lowest brain power of anything else previously discovered, and they're calling it the customer

i was ready to accept ‘we are now approaching leeds’ as the screenshot of despair

If the USA is so great then why did they make a USB?

A wizard that keeps their face covered at all times but has a small orb at the top of their wizard staff to show emojis, emoticons, and simple images to express how they feel.

Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.

"You can't get robots pregnant!" why do you think it's called a motherboard? keep cumming in her auxiliary port dumbass