did anyone else see that seal that just ended up on the street in connecticut

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

anyaustin is an experiment to see if a guy could develop a sense of wonder and appreciation for the world around him without ever going outside

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

@commodityproduction

the lion does not concern herself with papa

don';t ever explore your emotions through fiction this shit is scary

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

"Discourse" is far too dignified a term for the foolishness y'all get up to. We should go back to calling it wank.