No Thank You

if someone who id's with masculinity is sheltering themselves in this type of safety, an internal conflict arises when they see criticisms of men!! this conflict can be resolved both by selectively dismissing those criticisms ("not all men", "patriarchy hurts everyone", "ur just terminally online") and by distancing oneself from masculinity ("they think afab people don't understand sexism lol" even "don't assume all trans men pass" is imo an example of this). while most ppl talking abt transmisandry seem to have a host of opinions informed by both angles, there is an underlying contradiction between them. if maleness is not inherently privileged, and indeed men are uniquely oppressed, the significance of trauma from sexism is lessened (also lessening the authority in being a victim of misogyny)

the most popular method of resolving This contradiction seems to be assigning fault to the ruling class, a Safely Distant badguy from whom all gendered oppression flows outward. the fact that the ruling class benefit enormously from structural sexism and class conflict between genders is a very tempting avenue to go down to sort of, emotionally acquit oneself and/or the men we love of culpability in sexism. it allows someone looking for a "masculine identity incapable of committing gendered harm" the option to argue male privilege isn't real (or at least is a very mild force of privilege, one which otherwise-oppressed men such as trans, gay, and racialized men are exempt) while still acknowledging sexism as a real force. their authority in dictating when sexism is real (through afab experiences of sexism) is preserved, the severity of their trauma is preserved, meanwhile they do not have to feel insecure in their identity as masculine vis a vis responsibility for harm

but the idea that (average, working class) men do not benefit from sexism is quickly disprovable. when a man receives a promotion over an equally or better qualified woman he has benefited economically from sexism. when a man wants to remain in a relationship with a woman who would leave but chooses not to because of her financial dependency, that man has benefited from sexism. the financial, social, and emotional insecurity inflicted on women by sexism places all men positions of advertent or inadvertent advantage. so to be truly serious in pursuing this emotional safety (of being an inherently "good, harmless person"), to satisfactorily justify it intellectually, you must either stop taking sexism seriously *or* identify ur feminization (not ur identity as male) as the core of the harm u experience. in the latter case, as being cis still leaves you with an uncomfortable privilege, you have to stop taking transphobia seriously